12/15/2023
When a child’s is being affected by or any strong emotion, the area of their brain responsible for logical thought and cognition (as well as memory!) is compromised as a result.
This is why we ‘can’t think straight’ when we’re upset, worried or under pressure. The frontal cortex or ‘higher thinking brain’ quite literally isn’t as accessible as it would be if your child was emotionally regulated.
If you want your child to start a nerve-wracking situation with their best foot forward, we need to be intentional in helping children feel emotionally grounded. The process of helping children work through their big emotions is not as overwhelming as it may sound. There are a few basic things we can do:
🎈Stay connected— Having a safe landing place (not just physically but emotionally!) is crucial for children to feel supported and confident in school. Finding at least a small amount of time each day to be fully present with your child will help to meet their need for love and attunement.
🎈Establish a ritual— Creating rituals to help ease separation anxiety is another wonderful way to keep the parent-child bond strong and provide a relational buffer for your child’s back to emotions. Some ideas for rituals that establish connection and bonding:
• Special handshake to use right before and after reconnecting
• Your child gets to pick a special meal for the night before the event
• Giving your child something of yours they can bring with them and use as a physical comfort (ie: scarf, bracelet, hair tie etc.)
• Create a mantra your child can repeat to give them confidence
• Go on a shopping date to prepare together
• Leave lunchbox notes for them to help them feel loved at lunch.
🎈Give them a safe place to talk— As parents, we all fall into that the trap of talking way more than we listen when it comes to interacting with our child. Being listened to and feeling understood is deeply therapeutic for your child and plants essential seeds for raising an emotionally intelligent child.
🎈Being intentional with preparation— Kids are concrete thinkers and need a little help when it comes to grasping complex subjects like schedules and timelines. There are lots of ways to make preparing fun and more concrete:
• Making a countdown calendar or paper chain
• Bring your child to get clothing, lunch groceries, supplies etc
• Role-playing scenarios such as lunchtime for younger kiddos
• Visiting the place, such as a classroom, ahead of time
• Reading books about the event to your child and making a list of questions your child has about it
• Write a story with your child about the day
🎈Allow your child some control— A very powerful component of managing stress for humans is feeling some degree of agency or control over your life. Allowing your child to help with simple decisions such as outfits, backpack designs or what they want for lunch will go far to help them feel more secure in an overwhelming situation.
🎈Be an encourager— Listen to your child’s concerns but seize opportunities to breathe confidence and excitement into conversations. Find out what their favorite parts of their day is and tell them the strengths you see developing in them as time passes.
The secret to an awesome time in independent situations starts with you. With a foundation of emotional intelligence and a strong parent-child relationship, you’ll be setting up your child for an excellent experience.
Reference: https://cstu.io/9270a5
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