Agnes Van Buren, MA

10/16/2025

You messed up, and now it’s time to fess up and apologize. Apologies can be tough because you want to appear genuine so that you can start healing the relationship. Depending on the mistake, a simple sorry just won’t do. So, how do you craft your apology so it has the greatest chance of being accepted? The key is to be incredibly intentional with your word choice.

A recent study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that people sound the most sincere when apologizing if they use longer words than they usually would. “This paper shows that individuals produce longer words in their apologies than in their non-apologetic communication, presumably to express the effort they are willing to exert to express their remorse and/or correct the situation,” the researchers wrote. “Correspondingly, individuals interpret apologies with longer words as more apologetic.”

In plain English, the researchers found that using longer words in your apology than you would typically use makes the person you are apologizing to believe that you are truly sorry. The key here is for you to consider how you present yourself as a speaker. If you don’t usually use big words, you won’t have to stretch your vocabulary too far. However, suppose you typically speak as if you have a doctorate in English literature with a minor in linguistics. In that case, it's going to be a bit harder to find the perfect verbiage for your apology.

If you usually would have said, “I'm really sorry,” you'd do better by saying, “I'm genuinely sorry.”

If you usually say, “I am incredibly sorry,” you’d have a better chance of it being accepted if you said, “I am tremendously sorry.”

Let’s take things up a level so you can be a master at apologizing. To be even more convincing, use words that are longer and aren’t used as frequently in regular day-to-day conversation. If you were apologizing for being a bit snappy with someone and would usually apologize with, “I did not mean to be so hostile,” instead, try, “I did not mean to respond in a confrontational manner.” Read more about the impact of this shift below.

10/12/2025

Some people can get stuck spiraling for hours, while others manage to break the loop in just a few minutes. The difference isn’t about willpower - it’s about how the brain deals with uncertainty. When your nervous system doesn’t feel safe, “not knowing” gets treated like a threat. This makes survival brain circuits come online, and they begin searching for control, making you overthink, rehearse every possible outcome, or check things over and over again.

Over time, your brain learns that looping feels protective - even though it’s not. You even hear people say "this is just who I am and what I need to do." In reality, this is just what their brain currently does out of survival. And we don't want these survival circuits triggered this often, as it can lead to long term health issues and reduce quality of life.

The good news is that you can retrain it.

The first step is being aware when you are doing this. Once you have awareness, you can try new things.

When you catch yourself spiraling, pause and name what your brain is trying to do: “My mind is trying to keep me safe by solving a problem that doesn’t exist yet.” Then ground yourself by naming five things you see, four you can touch, three you hear, two you smell, one you taste. It brings you out of thought and into sensation.

Overthinking often means you’ve left your body. Ask yourself: “What is my body doing right now?” Then intentionally relax your jaw, shoulders, and stomach. Try slow exhales that are twice as long as your inhales. The longer exhale tells your nervous system that you’re not in danger.

You can then gently expose yourself to uncertainty - like resisting the urge to check something that is worrying you or by leaving something unfinished and noticing how you feel about it. With repetition, you teach your brain that it’s safe not to have all the answers.

If you tend to double-check everything, leave one small thing unchecked on purpose. For example, send a text without rereading it, or walk out the door without checking something you'd normally double check (if you know it’s safe). These micro-exposures train your brain to tolerate uncertainty and realize nothing bad happens.

10/05/2025

10/03/2025

10/02/2025

The breathing technique often referred to as the "physiological sigh"—has been studied by neuroscientists and psychologists, especially in recent years.

Notably, Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist at Stanford University, has widely promoted this technique. The physiological sigh involves two quick inhales through the nose followed by a long exhale through the mouth.

Research published in 2023 in the journal Cell Reports Medicine by Spiegel et al., supported by Stanford researchers, compared various breathing techniques for stress and anxiety reduction.

Among these, cyclic sighing (two inhales, one prolonged exhale) showed superior results in lowering anxiety and improving mood when practiced for as little as 5 minutes daily.

The mechanism behind its effectiveness lies in how it affects the autonomic nervous system. The double inhale helps fully inflate the lungs, allowing more oxygen in and resetting the breathing rhythm, while the slow exhale activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a sense of calm.

Unlike complex mindfulness or meditation techniques, this method requires no prior training and can be used anywhere, at any time, making it highly accessible.

Thus, the claim in the image is factually accurate, backed by modern neuroscience and peer-reviewed research. However, it’s worth noting that while effective for temporary relief, it should not replace long-term treatment or therapy in cases of chronic anxiety disorders.

10/01/2025

“Say you have a co-worker who is frustrating you: You’re getting annoyed, because they’re not turning things in on time. You can try to reframe this—maybe they have something going on with their family. This helps you transition from being very frustrated to thinking ‘OK, this is frustrating, but there are a lot of things going on in their life that I don’t know about.'” Below, learn more about the benefits of cognitive reappraisal, courtsey of Sarah Schnitker, a psychology professor at Baylor University.

09/26/2025

Researchers studying stress relief have discovered that a simple breathing pattern — two quick inhales followed by one long exhale — can dramatically calm the nervous system in just minutes. This method, called “physiological sighing,” was confirmed by Stanford University scientists as one of the most effective non-medical techniques to lower anxiety levels. Unlike meditation or yoga, it requires no training, making it accessible to anyone, anywhere.
The technique works by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system, which counters the “fight or flight” response. By taking two sharp inhales, the lungs maximize oxygen intake, while the extended exhale reduces carbon dioxide levels in the body. This rebalances blood chemistry, slows heart rate, and sends signals of safety to the brain, reducing feelings of panic or tension almost instantly.
What makes this finding remarkable is its practicality. People can use it at work before a stressful meeting, during exams, or even while coping with social anxiety. Unlike medication, it has no side effects, costs nothing, and can be done discreetly. Therapists are now incorporating it into treatment for patients with chronic stress and PTSD, showing that even small lifestyle habits can reshape mental health outcomes.
In a world where anxiety disorders affect over 300 million people globally, such a breakthrough highlights the body’s natural ability to heal itself. It suggests that mental wellness doesn’t always need high-cost solutions — sometimes, it’s as simple as breathing right.

09/19/2025

Every caregiving situation is different and that’s why the PA CareKit is ready for anything.

Take the ‘Understanding Your Needs’ quiz. You’ll receive a ‘Your Get-Started Guide,' via email, with custom information based on your answers. ➡️ Find the quiz at pa.gov/carekit.

09/13/2025

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEv20YTyipo

In this episode, I want to ask you something personal: Do you fear death… or do you love life?So many of us carry an unspoken fear of dying, and without even...

09/11/2025

https://behavioralscientist.org/why-we-spiral/

Questions of who we are or what we’re worth can send us into a tailspin. But the very same processes that pull us down can propel us up, too.

06/06/2025

https://www.clearerthinking.org/post/believing-you-only-have-one-option-is-dangerous

Believing you have only one option is dangerous. For instance: • If you think there's only one job for you, you might tolerate awful working conditions. • If you believe there’s only one path to success, you might ignore opportunities that better suit your strengths or values, or stick with a ...

05/29/2025

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/moms-decline-mental-health-study/

Only about a fourth of moms in the United States say they have "excellent" physical and mental health, according to a new study.