06/10/2023
📢Long post: keep scrolling if you don’t wanna read my book…
February/March 2021: Hunter and decided that we wanted to expand our family with a human rather than more pups. We were both excited for the journey of bringing a little one into the world. First month goes by and nothing then the next and the next and so on… Doctor says the standard of care before diagnosing and treating infertility is going through 1 year without results. Disappointedly, we said okay and kept on with our lives and still nothing. We tried all the ovulation tests and all that jazz.
March 2022: Back to the doctor and tell her there’s been no success. Diagnosed with infertility. Start getting the u/s and developing a treatment plan with rounds of oral medications and routine follicle scans to see how I was progressing on medications. Things looked good. But still NOTHING. So we do more rounds and nothing. Things didn’t feel right after one round of treatment so I advocated for myself and get a scan to reveal a hemorrhagic cyst. can’t do anything til this clears up for 6-8 weeks. GREAT.
July 2022: My Ob-GYN opens her own practice. We had returned from Yellowstone during the historic flood and we didn’t even get to go in the park. I see her again to tell her the round didn’t work. July 10, she emails and recommends I see a fertility specialist and just so happens she is in contact with someone she is going to let see patients through her clinic. This is when we met Ruth for a consult and speak to Dr. Rizk on the phone. We developed a plan to check my tubes and some lab work to check hormones and AMH levels then decide on treatment plan. Cool beans we are getting somewhere.
August 2022: Tubes are open, levels look good, AMH is low. Score! Start round one of injections and oral medications and labs. Woah I didn’t know all the emotions and feelings I would go through in a day on those meds. 🥴
September 12, 2022: Round 1 of IUI then the 2 week wait. September 26: Negative. Didn’t work. Reevaluate and start next treatment with new medications added on 9/27.
October 2022: Finish round 2 of treatment, 2 week wait, and my lab work showed a very very very weak positive result and doctor said it’s not going to be enough, then I was crushed again at school between classes. The end of October we took a Break.
Alright God, WHY? Why me? What’s my purpose? Just to be a high school teacher, wife, and Aunt? If so, please start taking these feelings of agony and a shattered heart every month away and I’ll know and begin to accept it.
November 2022: decide to go for round 3 with new treatment plan and adjustments to medications. 11/28: u/s to check follicle growth. Not big enough for IUI. So adjust medications to nurse them a tad longer. 11/29 we will do IUI. Go in again for another u/s. No IUI today, still not big enough. Meanwhile Dr. Rizk and Ruth have to be in another state the afternoon of Nov. 30th. Tell us to come in that morning at 8am and we are going to do u/s and go for IUI and see what happens. [Both of them did not think we would be able to do the IUI, but Dr. Rizk said he could work with what he saw so we went for it.] Now the dreaded 2 week wait…
December 2022: I had decided that I was not doing any more stupid at home tests. On 12/14, Hunter said just take the test. So I did, but sure made him get up at 5:30am to go read the thing before I went to work because I was not doing it. He calls me and is peeking out from the bathroom with a smirk on his face and I said what let me guess, negative, then he smiles. Come here. It took me several times to look at it to make sure my mind wasn’t fooling me, we had our first positive at home test. We were so excited. Text our doctor and nurse practitioner. We began beta tests and passed the first one, then the second, and finally the third, Yes!
12/17: We get into a car accident and the truck flipped. Most of you know the story. We lost something off the back of the truck and we very slowly pulled off and began to back up and we didn’t know there was a culvert because it was unmarked. Go to the ER, but not much they can do because too early to see anything on the u/s.
12/22: We have our very first u/s to see if we have met stages 1 and 2 for a baby. We see our baby for the first time as a little dot on a screen! The emotions that came over us in the room and when we got to the car. Our baby was safe and sound. 12/29: another u/s to make sure we pass stages 3 and 4: check. We see the heart and heartbeat for the first time.
Jan 2023: 2 more u/s to check before realeased from fertility to OB. Passed and we graduate from fertility!
February 2023: we find out It’s a Boy.
August 5, 2023: supposed to attend baby class, but welcomed Lucas Hunter Ballard instead!
I say all this to say that even in the midst of the deepest of the valley, God is still Good. I cried during Mother’s Day and baby dedication days at church not because I wasn’t happy for those who had, but still grieved for my longing for a child of my own. I had a hard time remember that and holding on to hope during this journey because it is maddening, but I had others to hold on to it for me when I couldn’t. We are so greatful for Elite IVF Fertility with Ruth and Dr. Rizk for helping us get to bring our miracle baby in the world! We are so grateful for your skills and knowledge and passion! I’m happy you got to meet Lucas in person.
Not everyone understands what it’s like to go through infertility. Consider yourself extra blessed and lucky. It’s not as simple as well there’s adoption, sperm/egg donors, or you have so much time. I wish this on no one, but I gained more hope and faith, remembered God is still good and gained more empathy for others situations among lots of other things. But for now, I’ll end by continuing to gaze at my sleeping beautiful baby boy and being thankful for the journey God put me on.
From Kasey Ballard and baby Lucas.
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