Dr. Cassidy Freitas, LMFT

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Dr. Cassidy Freitas, LMFT

Dr. Cassidy Freitas | Holding Space for Parents Welcome! I'm Dr. Cassidy, a licensed therapist based in San Diego offering teletherapy in California.

I'm passionate about supporting parents from pregnancy, postpartum and beyond. I host the top rated podcast Holding Space and offer digital courses and workshops for expecting and postpartum parents. In addition to my work with parents, I founded Modern Therapist Academy and offer personalized coaching for therapists in private practice.

08/13/2025

A, B, C, or D? Let me know below! 💛

You’ve been carrying so much, for so long. What if the weight didn’t have to be quite so heavy?

So many parts of us step up automatically in parenting:

→ the guilt part
→ the over-responsible part
→ the perfectionist
→ the protector that’s tired of being let down

These parts aren’t wrong or bad. They’re trying to help in the best way they know how. But they don’t have to lead all the time.

Today’s invitation:

Notice who’s leading. Offer that part a breath, a softening, a break. And see what changes when something gentler takes the front seat.

This is how we start to rewire the emotional load...not by force, but by compassion.
Which part might you let soften today?

Which part I personally need to soften can depend on the day, but as a recovering perfectionist that is one I’m always extra mindful of 💛

08/11/2025

You’re allowed to feel it all.

To tear up at the end of a long day. To feel stretched thin, over-touched, under-seen. To hold so much and still wonder if you’re enough.

And...you’re allowed to let those feelings move through.

Emotional regulation doesn’t mean pushing it all down.

It’s not about staying calm at any cost.

It’s about creating just enough space for your nervous system to breathe. So the feelings don’t get stuck. So they don’t snowball into shame or spill out sideways.

Sometimes that looks like:
→ A deep exhale on the porch
→ Crying while folding the laundry
→ Saying, “I need a minute” or “I’m at capacity”

Parenting brings a lot in.
But not everything is meant to stay.

Let this be your gentle reminder:
You don’t have to hold it all.

You just have to keep making space to feel, release, and return.

08/07/2025

Sometimes the biggest shift in your relationships starts quietly with a deeper connection to yourself.

When you’re dysregulated, everything can feel like a personal attack:

Your child’s whining.
Your partner’s silence.
Even your own exhaustion.

But when you’re grounded, something softens. You can hear the same tone and not spiral. You can hold your child’s big feelings without taking them on as your own. You can respond to your partner from a place of clarity instead of defense.

Being grounded doesn’t mean the hard stuff goes away. It means you have access to choice, compassion, and repair.

This is how relationships shift...not from perfect communication or perfectly behaved kids, but from one steady moment at a time where you remember:

I can stay with myself here.

And that presence?
It’s contagious.

07/30/2025

Your child is learning how to be human by watching you be human.

Not just how you respond to them,
but how you respond to yourself.

→ What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?
→ How do you speak to yourself after you mess up?
→ Can you pause, even for a second, before reacting?

These small, unseen moments are shaping what your child believes about emotions, safety, and repair.

You don’t have to be perfectly regulated. You don’t have to say the “right” thing every time. You just have to stay in the relationship.

Every time you pause, soften, or name what’s real, you’re giving your child a powerful model:

“You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.
You just have to stay connected to yourself and to others.”

It’s okay if it’s messy.
That’s part of the blueprint too.

07/28/2025

It’s so easy to lead with correction. The behavior is loud. The moment is stressful. You want to fix it fast.

But sometimes, what your child needs most isn’t the rule. It’s reconnection.

✨ A hug before the reminder.
✨ A gentle “I’m here” before the boundary.
✨ A moment of eye contact before the “no.”

This doesn’t mean you stop guiding. It just means you anchor the guidance in relationship. Because connection is what helps their nervous system settle enough to hear the correction in the first place.

And when you choose connection first, even just once today…

you remind your child:
You’re safe. You’re seen. You’re still loved, even when it’s hard.

That’s the kind of parenting that regulates.
That’s the kind that sticks.

07/24/2025

The kind of parenting most of us want to offer...the kind that’s present, patient, and attuned, can’t happen when we’re completely disconnected from ourselves.

But staying connected to yourself doesn’t require a silent house, a yoga retreat, or hours of alone time (though honestly, if you get a few hours to yourself? Take them. They matter too).

Self-connection might look like:
→ Taking one deep breath before answering the same question for the fifth time
→ Putting your phone down and placing a hand on your heart when everything feels loud
→ Whispering “this is hard” under your breath instead of pretending it’s not
→ Catching the critical voice in your head and taking a moment to reflect on where you learned it.

These small moments matter.

They help you feel like you again...not just the responder, the fixer, the default everything.

And when your kids witness that kind of self-awareness? You’re not just teaching them how to regulate. You’re showing them what it looks like to respect your own limits and listen to your inner voice.

It won’t always feel graceful.
But it will be real. And that’s enough.
Come back to yourself, even briefly.
It’s not selfish. It’s the starting point.

07/21/2025

It’s so easy to jump in and fix.
You hear a frustration, and your mind goes:
“Okay, how do we solve this?”

You see their overwhelm, and you offer options, plans, suggestions. But sometimes, the thing they need most…
is for you to pause.

Long enough to notice what they’re actually feeling beneath the words.

Before the budget talk, the to-do list, the logistics…there’s often something softer underneath:

Fatigue.
Disappointment.
Loneliness.
Worry.

And when we jump to fix without first seeing the person, we unintentionally miss the moment that matters most.

Try this instead:
✨ “That sounds like a lot...how are you feeling about it?”
✨ “Do you want me to listen or help troubleshoot?”
✨ Or even just: “That makes sense.”

A tiny pause before problem-solving can make a big impact.
It creates margin for empathy.
It softens reactivity.

And it reminds your partner: I care about your heart more than your productivity. That’s how you stay connected even in the hard stuff.

07/16/2025

When your child is melting down, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing.

Like you’re too reactive. Too loud. Too tired.
Like you should know how to stay calm all the time.

But here’s the truth:
You don’t need to be a perfect parent with perfect regulation.

You just need to be a steady-enough presence.

That means pausing before reacting.
Soften your tone.
Take one breath before you speak.
Remind them, and yourself, we can do hard things together.

Because your child isn’t just watching how you respond to them…they’re learning how to respond to their own emotions later.

You’re not just trying to survive a tantrum.
You’re showing them how to move through life with more safety, not shame. And that matters more than perfection ever could.

07/14/2025

It takes just a moment to shift everything.

Before you answer the next question.
Before you move into the next task.
Before you respond to the tantrum, the mess, the need.
Pause.
Check in.

What is your body telling you right now?
Where is the tension?
What emotion might be underneath it?
You don’t have to fix it or analyze it.
Just notice it.

Because when you pause before you push through, you remind your nervous system that you’re safe. You give your body a moment to come along with your mind. And that’s often the margin that makes the difference between reacting and responding.

Today’s prompt isn’t about stopping everything. It’s about building space inside the moments that matter most.

Try it just once today.
A 60-second check-in.
And see what shifts.

07/09/2025

Sometimes we say, “I’m just tired.” But what we really mean is: I’m carrying too much… and I don’t know what’s safe to set down.

We keep going because it feels like everything depends on us. We say we’re “fine” because stopping to feel it all might unravel us.

Sometimes we get angry.
Quick to snap, quicker to shame ourselves for it. But under that anger? There’s often exhaustion. Overwhelm. A part that feels unseen or unappreciated. A part that’s been holding it together for too long, waiting for someone to notice.

When we slow down and name what’s real—what’s underneath—our nervous system gets a different message: You’re allowed to feel this. You’re not in danger anymore. You’re not alone.

That’s where regulation begins.

Not with control. Not with perfection.

But with clarity. With compassion. With the courage to tell the truth about what’s actually going on inside.

07/07/2025

You’re not meant to care deeply about everything, every day.

Some expectations don’t deserve your energy.

Some to-dos can wait.

Some battles aren’t worth the nervous system toll.

We often push through because we think that’s what it means to be responsible, to be strong, to be good. But today, strength might look like discernment.

Choosing where your presence matters and where your peace does more.

What’s one thing you can care less about today... on purpose?

That’s not failure. That’s strategy.
That’s margin.

06/30/2025

Sometimes margin isn’t something you carve out. It’s something you notice.

That moment when your child is deep in play. The way their expression changes when they concentrate. The softness in their face when they feel safe.

When we’re moving fast, we miss the details that make up their childhood. But when we slow down even just a little we see them more clearly. And they feel it.

You don’t need to plan something special. Just pause long enough today to really look at them. To let your eyes linger. To let your presence land. That’s a margin moment.

Address

San Diego, CA

Website

http://www.drcassidymft.com/

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