19/02/2025
NOT JUST YOUR SUNSHINE☀️
A teen sat in my office a while back, articulating what so many of us know but rarely speak about - the exhaustion of living in a "picture perfect" home where only certain emotions are welcome at the table.
"We're allowed to have feelings," she said, "we just can't show them. Be sunshine, or be somewhere else."
After decades in practice, I've seen this pattern repeat itself with heartbreaking predictability: Homes where big emotions are treated as unwelcome guests inevitably become homes where authentic connection struggles to survive.
Here's the truth we need to hear:
Suppression leads to depression.
It's that simple.
That devastating.
That important.
When we tell our children to "keep it together" or "just be positive," we're not teaching resilience. We're teaching shame. We're saying "Parts of you are unacceptable here."
Every eye roll they suppress,
every tear they swallow,
every frustrated sigh they silence becomes another brick in a wall between us.
Your child's big emotions aren't a reflection of your parenting failure - they’re a message, and they're an invitation to connect.
Those slammed doors?
Those dramatic sighs?
Those seemingly "over-the-top" reactions?
They're not challenges to your authority.
They’re glimpses into their inner worlds.
They're opportunities for connection.
They're your child saying "Can you handle ALL of me?"
Because here's what I know to be true: The emotions we don't speak about don't disappear…
They become barricades.
They become wounds.
They become the very things that keep us from the deep connection we all desperately need.
One thing I always want my kids to know is this: ALL of you is welcome here.
ALL. OF. YOU.
Your child doesn't need you to be perfect.
They need you to be present.
Present in their joy.
Present in their pain.
Present in their sunshine AND their storms.
Because a child who knows they can bring their whole self home - messy emotions and all - is a child who will always find their way back to you.
That's not just good parenting.
That's healing generations.
With love
Naomi ❤️
