27/10/2025
Never assume a mother poisoned your child’s heart against you. Children don’t need to be told who failed them, they feel it, they know. They notice who showed up. They remember who reached out with love, understanding and compassion and who only reached for excuses.
They notice the quiet. The promises that vanished into silence, and the empty place in their hearts. You might think they don’t understand, but they do. Long before they can explain it, they carry the ache of being second to everything else that mattered more to you.
Children remember. They remember the treatment, the begging, the excuses, the example, the moments of chaos, the embarrassments, the loneliness, the harsh words, and the false promises, the lies. They remember the nights they cried themselves to sleep and the mornings they woke up pretending everything was fine. Those memories don’t fade just because time passes, they cut deep inside the heart you neglected.
So stop blaming the mother for the distance you created. While you were gone, she became both comfort and protector, the steady heartbeat of a home you walked away from. She’s been the one showing up every single day, drying tears, paying bills, and filling the void your absence carved into their lives. She didn’t turn your child’s heart cold. Neglect did that all by itself.
And let’s be clear, you can’t expect a mother to fix a relationship she didn’t break. You can’t demand her to heal wounds she didn’t cause. And you certainly can’t expect children to just look the other way and move on as if they weren’t deeply hurt. Healing takes truth, consistency, and accountability not guilt, manipulation, control and excuses.
You, as the emotionally absent parent, have taught your children something powerful, how to not only live, but to thrive without you. In your silence, they found strength. In your absence, they built resilience. A mother will do everything to protect her children; you did everything to destroy them.
Yes - we are not the same.
Love isn’t a cheap speech. It isn’t a late "sorry" wrapped in no regret no remorse. Love is consistency. It’s presence. It’s effort, quiet, steady, safe and real.
Children are so incredibly strong. My children saved my life in a way that I owe them my healing, support and understanding for their choices. They became my reason to rise, my reminder of what love truly means, not in words, but in action.
And one day, when your child looks back, it won’t be your words they remember, it’ll be your actions. In that silence, they’ll know exactly who you were.
FISA VERSA