27/06/2024
🤱The 4th Trimester🤱
Is your baby only happy in your arms? Does she cry as soon as you put her down? Does she only want to sleep on your chest? Does he hate the pram or car seat? Yes, it is NORMAL!!! Your baby is probably in the 4th trimester.
The fourth trimester is a crash course and a sink-or-swim introduction to motherhood.
My first daughter spent the first 12 weeks of her life in my arms. I had to hold her for naps. She despised being put down or even being handed over to somebody else. My second daughter could at least nap in her crib, but she is a Velcro baby as well. She doesn’t like anybody but her mom. Even Dad was rejected for the first 3 months of her life. There were a lot of tears (more by me than the baby) and little rest. My third little one followed her sisters, and only wanted mommy. She screamed if anyone dared holding her except Mom. Even car seat rides were a screaming match.
Your baby’s fourth trimester starts from the moment she’s born and lasts until she is three months old. It describes a significant change and development period in your newborn as they adjust to their new world outside your womb. Although it’s the last thing any woman wants to hear at the end of their pregnancy, most babies would really benefit from an extra three months in utero.
During the three trimesters in your womb, your baby had to do so much developing and growing. Now that your baby is born, they still need to develop further by refining their senses, controlling their reflexes and learning how to respond to mom and dad. These developments your baby makes during their first three months are just as important as their development in the womb.
The fourth trimester is also a time for your baby to get used to the variety of noises, lights, smells, sounds and sensations of the outside world. Moving from the familiar comfort of your warm, dark and quiet womb to a noisy, bright and cold environment is a significant change for your baby. You can make this transition easier by offering them plenty of love and support in their first three months.
The fourth trimester doesn’t just present adjustments for babies but also for the tired, overwhelmed adults who are caring for them.
🤱How will my baby be in the fourth trimester?🤱
👼Crying - your baby is likely to cry more during their fourth trimester than at any other time in their life. Knowing that this is entirely normal can help you cope with the inevitable worry and anxiety that a crying baby brings. Crying peaks at around 5-6 weeks and usually eases off when your baby reaches three months old. Feeding or soothing your baby as soon as they cry is fine. Contrary to what you may have heard from granny or aunty, this won’t spoil your baby. In fact, it will help them feel more secure so that they may cry less.
👼Sleeping - your newborn will sleep a lot, especially in the early weeks. Sleeping is essential for them, as it helps their brain process all the stimulation they get while awake. There was no routine in your womb, so don’t expect your baby to stick to one just yet. Your baby may take a while to settle into a sleeping routine. Coming from the constant environment of your womb, your baby has no concept of day and night yet. Adjusting sleeping patterns to sleep more hours at night will take weeks. Put your baby down to sleep during the day in a noisy, bright environment and keep things quiet and non-stimulating at night. Follow Meg Faure’s Baby Sense awake times to ensure your baby isn’t overstimulated.
👼Feeding - your baby has a small stomach, so they need to be fed often, at least 8 feeds in 24 hours. As you get to know your baby, you’ll understand the cues and signals telling you they’re hungry. Crying is usually one of the last signs of hunger, and they may be too upset to latch correctly. Early signs to look out for include: sucking on fingers, turning their head and opening their mouth. Your baby is too young for a feeding routine just yet. Feeding on demand, whether breast- or formula-fed, will help soothe and reassure your baby that they’re well looked after. If you’re breastfeeding, this will ensure your milk supply keeps up with your baby’s demands. Feeding time is a great time to sit down with your baby, cuddle, have eye contact, and enjoy skin-to-skin.
👼Sensory - although many of your baby’s senses are developed at birth, they continue to improve throughout the fourth trimester. Sight develops most rapidly in the first three months of life. By around eight weeks, their vision will almost be the same as an adult’s. They’ll recognise and be comforted by your familiar scent, making them turn their head for your ni**le to latch for a feed. Your baby will enjoy listening to you talking and will feel soothed and comforted by familiar sounds and voices. In your womb, your baby was constantly “held” by your amniotic fluid. Regular skin-to-skin contact with your baby can help stimulate their sense of touch to soothe fussiness and ease crying. Baby-wearing can mimic your baby's gentle movement in the womb, and swaddling may help them feel more secure. Look for signs that your baby is becoming overwhelmed, such as turning away or breaking eye contact. The Baby Sense book is an excellent reference manual for these signs.
👼Physically - at birth, your baby has instinctive reflexes and can move her head about to root for your breast. Giving your baby daily tummy time can help them develop physically. Tummy time helps to encourage movement and build strength in your baby so that you can start soon after their birth. A great way to encourage tummy time is to put the baby on your chest and tummy to enable them to look at you.
🤱How to make it easier for your baby🤱
Understanding the environment your baby lived in for nine months can be a valuable tool in helping to soothe and support them through their fourth trimester. You must be a good ‘womb impersonator’ so your baby can quickly adapt to the outside world. Here are some common newborn calming techniques that tend to work quite well, but remember, each baby is different.
👩👧Skin-to-skin contact - this helps to calm and soothe your baby. Your warmth and your smell will reassure them. The familiar sound of your heartbeat helps to regulate their own. It also encourages your baby to latch on for breastfeeding.
👩👧Feeding on demand - giving your baby nourishment whenever they need it, whether you’re breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, helps them to meet their energy needs and reassures them that they’re well looked after.
👩👧Baby-wearing - using a carrier (my Ubuntu Baba was my saving grace) helps mimic the gentle movement and snug comfort your baby experienced in your womb. It is also a great way for dads to bond with babies!
👩👧Swaddling - safe swaddling creates a feeling of containment, just like your womb. It may help your baby to sleep better and soothe them.
👩👧Sight - limit visual stimulation in the early days, as it can over-stimulate your baby quickly. Have a mobile over the changing mat, not over the cot. Limit time under a play gym to 5 to 10 minutes in the early days.
👩👧Sounds – sounds in utero are the white noise sounds of your heartbeat, the gushes of your blood and digestive sounds. Background white noise sound settles newborns in the early days. Both my daughters still sleep with a white noise machine.
👩👧Swinging and movement - walking around while holding your baby may be more soothing than sitting down and cuddling them. In your womb, they were rocked and lulled by your everyday movements.
👩👧Bathing - the womb is a wet, warm place. The world as we know it is dry and cold. Sometimes, a nice, deep, warm bath can stop a baby’s tears in seconds. It is even better to go in the big bath with the baby, too, as skin-to-skin contact is an excellent baby calmer. Just be careful of overstimulating your baby.
🤱Tips for mom to survive the 4th trimester🤱
There is no need to prove you’re a badass in this postpartum period. Any mother will understand what you are going through. Accept help. Look after yourself. There is no need to look perfect when people come to visit.
To feel well as a new mother and care for your baby, you must take good care of yourself — physically, socially, intellectually, and emotionally.
💃If visitors come by to see the baby, let them hold your baby while you shower, nap or talk. It sounds terrible, but sometimes, not holding your baby for a while gives you a sense of your own space back.
💃Pre-cook and freeze some meals while pregnant so you don’t worry about cooking while caring for your newborn. If someone asks what they can bring you when visiting, ask for a pre-cooked meal.
💃Keep contact information handy for experts, like a lactation consultant for breastfeeding issues, a physiotherapist for lasering painful ni***es, a housekeeper to help keep your house clean, etc.
💃Have some things you love nearby to nourish your mind and spirit, like nice movies, songs, books and activities.
💃Sleep when the baby sleeps, do laundry when the baby does laundry, and cook when the baby cooks 😂. Yes, just a joke. But really, take a nap when your baby naps.
💃Look out for signs of post-partum depression; it affects more people than you think, even doctor moms.😉
💃It may feel like a competition between you, your partner, and the baby for a limited resource: you. But don’t forget your partner, be intimate. No, that does not always mean s*x. Steal a kiss, cuddle, or just talk about anything other than the baby.
💃Talk with other moms, especially those going through the same thing as you, either now or recently. They will make you feel less lonely and provide extra support when you sometimes feel like you are losing your mind.
💃Find a parent-and-baby group or stimulation class for your baby when they are a few weeks old. It is an excellent way to bond with your baby, learn about their development, and meet other moms going through the same thing. I can really recommend BabyGym Institute International.
🤱🏻 How do I keep my baby busy the first few months? 🤱🏻
Here are a few play ideas: https://www.facebook.com/100050595844490/posts/794106075619247/?mibextid=cr9u03
🤱🏻What if my baby just cries and cries?🤱🏻
Read more about the purple crying period here: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/FocJSnRzXKVDLdeH/?mibextid=WC7FNe
Your baby might also be going through a development leap. Read more here: https://www.facebook.com/100050595844490/posts/745023963860792/?mibextid=cr9u03
Try not to wish these first 12 weeks away. You will not enjoy every minute, and that is okay. Try to savour the newborn cuddles and total dependence on you. I promise you, you will miss it when they’re toddlers running away from you when you so desperately want a hug. Eat, sleep and feed the baby; if you’ve done all that, you’ve won half the battle.
Pic of Nina by Desi McCarthy Photographic Art
