Lisa Burger Social Worker in Private Practice

10/06/2025

Co-regulation—the supportive interaction between a child and a caregiver or other trusted adult—plays a key role in helping children develop the ability to self-regulate. Through these relationships, children learn how to manage their emotions, behaviors, and stress responses.

01/06/2025

14/01/2025

Rupture and repair…..A healthy relationship is not one that never experiences rupture, but one in which two parties are able to repair after rupture. When you repair, you heal and strengthen. It builds trust and intimacy.

30/05/2024

“Mother Tantrums“ happen when the unhealed inner child within a mother starts projecting unprocessed pain onto her daughter (or son) in response to the daughter not complying with an unspoken mandate to stay non-threatening to her. ⁠
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A Mother Tantrum can be expected if the daughter has had the role of being subservient, deferential, or submissive to the mother, and is now changing the dynamic in the relationship by more fully expressing her authentic, true self around her mother. ⁠
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In that moment of a Mother Tantrum, your mother is NOT seeing you accurately (as her daughter), but rather, she may be seeing you as her own rejecting mother. ⁠
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That’s why it feels like she may want to destroy you–that is the regressive energy of the angry child within your mother that she has yet to integrate and heal within herself.

(Understanding this helps to not take your mother’s behavior personally. It’s really not about you at all.)⁠
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👉The Mother Tantrum can range from a minor upset to a full-on episode that can include the mother flying into a vicious rage, jealously withdrawing or sulking, calling you every name in the book, or bringing up every mistake you ever made to shame you back into being her emotional crutch. ⁠
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The intensity or duration of the tantrum depends on how severe her Mother Wound is and whether she has the capacity to reflect and take responsibility for her own emotions. ⁠
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💜 Know that you are not responsible for the pain your mother may carry from her childhood. It’s not your job to fix, carry or resolve the pain when she lashes out. It’s actually impossible to do that. ⁠

It's nothing you can help her with.

All you can do is get support for yourself and take space from her while she is in that state.
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💜 Having the courage to be aware and confront these uncomfortable realities is part of healing the Mother Wound and dismantling the patriarchy within ourselves and our families. Thank you for being here! ⁠

Have you ever experienced this? Let me know in the comments.

Do you want support as you examine and heal these parts of your life? Join our powerful, ever-growing global community of over 18K women in my free Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/innermother/

29/06/2023

Even small acts of self-care in your daily routine can have a big impact.

13/06/2023

I love this!

12/04/2023

Saltzman conducted a study in conjunction with researchers at Stanford University showing that after 8 weeks of mindfulness training, the fourth through sixth graders in the study had documented decreases in anxiety, and improvements in attention. They were less emotionally reactive and more able to handle daily challenges and choose their behavior.

13/01/2023

Truth!

11/01/2023

30/11/2022

A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…

No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…

We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…

And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to “catch up” in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…

Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…

We can’t.

And attempts to re-create some semblance of “normal” on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…

So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in- Pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.

Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).

Understanding brings compassion…

Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible “Handle with care” posters around their necks and “Fragile” tattoos on their bodies…

Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently. Go slowly.

Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness.

With love
Naomi ♥️