21/07/2025
𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐀𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐌𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫
From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, we all carry different parts within us, each with it's own role, history, and good intentions.
Your anxious part isn’t trying to ruin your peace.
It’s trying to protect you.
Surrender can feel terrifying to this part because surrender means letting go.
And letting go feels a lot like losing control.
And losing control…? That feels like danger.
This part likely learned, long ago, that the only way to keep you safe was to anticipate, plan, micromanage, and worry in order to stay ahead of every possible threat.
So when you try to soften, trust, or surrender into the flow of life, this part may step in with tension, racing thoughts, or even panic.
Not to sabotage you, but to save you from a perceived collapse.
IFS teaches us that we don’t need to exile or fight our anxious part.
Instead, we turn toward it with curiosity and ask:
💬 “What are you afraid will happen if I let go?”
💬 “When did you first learn it wasn’t safe to surrender?”
💬 “What do you need from me to feel safe right now?”
As we build trust with this part, it begins to loosen its grip, not because we force it to surrender, but because it starts to feel safe enough to rest.
True surrender isn’t about abandoning control,
It’s about befriending the part of you that’s afraid of what happens without it.
𝐈𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐈’𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮.
Namaskar,
Sonica Burger
IFS & Trauma Recovery Therapist
