Khumo Aphane- Registered Counsellor, HPCSA

23/11/2023

Exam stress can feel lonely and like a heavy weight to carry, but you don’t have to handle it all by yourself. SADAG is going LIVE on Instagram tonight at 6 pm and we'll be talking about "Dealing with Exam Pressure." Join us as we share insights, tips and coping strategies on conquering the challenges of matric exams. We are looking forward to seeing you.

22/11/2023

Joined the Expresso family again this morning to discuss exam stress and the different ways that students can tackle study techniques. While there is no…

22/11/2023

Hello LinkedIn Family, It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but had to share this crutial segment that the morning show invited me to be part…

22/11/2023

What a privilege to have a team member whose wisdom shines through on prioritizing self-care and nurturing your well-being, in this clip taken from the…

17/06/2023

What an exhilarating experience being invited as a mental health expert on the yesterday morning ✨

💬 I was privileged to be alongside sharing on the topic of anxiety in children since the COVID-19 pandemic in our experience as school counsellors.

So grateful to have be given the opportunity of the platform highlighting such an important topic and the vital role of school counsellors 🙏

🔗 Follow the link to our segment here: https://youtu.be/MVLrnRwKrx8

02/09/2022

September is National Su***de Prevention Month. Every year serves as a reminder of the urgent need to expand access to prevention resources on mental health and behavioral health care.

If you are in need of immediate support, help is available. Dial 988


***dePreventionMonth 💚

14/03/2022

Carl Jung once said that 'the most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely'. The unconditional nature of our self-acceptance requires us to accept and respect ourselves regardless of our flaws, inadequacies and idiosyncrasies. The constant approval we seek from others inhibits our growth and negatively impacts our self-concept. We need to endeavour to move away from our 'people pleasing' and 'approval seeking' behaviours in order to combat our self-sabotaging beliefs.

Self-acceptance doesn't mean condoning our self-defeating, unhealthy and negative habits and behaviours- it means loving ourselves enough to know we can be better, and can heal from our wounds. It means being compassionate to ourselves to the point of gently and intentionally leading our lives to being whole, integrated, and free.

Encourage self-love, integration, and self-acceptance:

1) Check in with yourself regularly (notice your thoughts, emotions and body)
2) Identify negative self-talk
3) Guard against comparison
4) Challenge your inner critic and the words others have spoken to/over you; devaluing your sense of self
5) Feel All your feelings
6) Celebrate your strengths and the fact that you are unique- Give yourself enough room for expression.

•You are most beautiful when you are yourself. So be You!
•You are so worthy to be experienced; by yourself and the world around you.
•Your simple presence is a delight. •You have a place in this world- You belong!

Self-acceptance -Love -compassion

21/01/2022

29/07/2021

It is scary to uncover and confront the lost and wounded parts of ourselves. The conflict is uncomfortable and it overwhelms the nervous system. 'Each individual is a thread of energy woven into tapestry of being, a tapestry frayed and weakened where there is conflict'.

But, with our self-awareness, we do not have to remain stuck in childhood patterns or wounds; we are uniquely able to correct what has gone wrong. Healing is made possible when we get the courage to see, hear, and face the pain and screams inside.

Someone has to be allowed in so you can begin.

Overcome your fear and resistance to being uncomfortable with walking through the 'unfamiliar'- allow yourself to grow to a new level of wholeness by accessing your denied affectionateness and emotionality.

•Find the courage to start
•Then give yourself time to mourn the losses experienced (don't rush or force the healing process)
• Be patient with the pace of recovery
• Be prepared for the difficult emotions
• Allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling without judgment or guilt.

-trauma -heals

21/01/2021

FROM NEGATIVITY TO POSITIVITY: GRAB HOLD OF YOUR THOUGHTLIFE.

We need to be more aware of our thoughts and the language we use. We must catch ourselves in the act of being, taking or thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. Even though we may all experience them to varying degrees, we can individually choose how we perceive and believe them. Thoughts are thoughts, not facts! They do however, stick longer, not because we choose them, but because we have bought into the story.
Being negative won't get you anywhere and the more negative you are, the worse you end up feeling- it's quite a vicious cycle. It can be hard to stop yourself from spiralling down into negative thoughts... for some it may be so severe it feels like there's no light switch to bring back control.

There's IS something you CAN do:

1. Thoughts are not facts. They are thoughts! Don't be quick to believe them as truth; aim to look and shift your perspective.
2. Practice positive affirmation
3. Don't 'dwell': the past can be our greatest growth inhibitor- Live more in the moment!
4. Believe in the power of positive thinking: focus of the positive
5. Get moving: try exercise to release endorphins
6. Ask for help when you get overwhelmed and can't cope

It's important to know that there are safe spaces to go to when in distress. Don't die in silence. Negative thoughts cannot and will not be your undoing!!!

02/11/2020

Authenticity requires vulnerability, transparency and integrity. These three things are not the easiest to do- especially when there is so much comparison, criticizing, need for social acceptance and belonging in society- putting so many on edge; trying out versions ourselves (constantly) and editing stories to fit the accepted and more enticing narratives- ultimately fearing to 'reveal our true selves'.
In Dr. Brown’s book called “Rising Strong”, she suggests to us that we ‘risk it’! Risk the emotional journey and rumble with all the fears and doubts and inner quarrels with ourselves, and eventually allow ourselves to be comfortable with discomfort- to accept our Imperfections; the hard truths about the selves that we often shun and hide from others and even ourselves. We CAN choose to rather embrace who we are ENTIRELY (mess and all); despite our pain, our past or idiosyncrasies.
If you have been criticizing yourself a lot for many years, try approving yourself and see what happens?! Show up! Accept and find the authentic self buried beneath other people's opinions and needs. Be bravely You! And enjoy every bit of it

30/10/2020

Anything that we regard as Important; whatever we value that Impacts us- making us sad, angry, laugh, sigh or has us rolling our eyes to the sky is human. And everything human is worth mentioning. Whatever is worth mentioning can be manageable. The less we talk, the more we feel overwhelmed, upset, ashamed and even scared.
Shame is a powerful master emotion- it is the fear that we are not good enough... the intensely painful feeling of being unworthy.
Break the power of shame and cultivate courage. Courage shows up when we let ourselves to be seen- when we Show Up and become real with ourselves. We can either own our stories and stand alongside our frailties, ready to do the work; or we will stand to hustle for worthiness indefinitely.

-WeWereNeverMeantTo

10/09/2020

Raise awareness about su***de and mental health. The rates of su***de across the world is too alarming.
Let's stop the silence!
Reach out to someone!
Let's end the stigma!

Su***de hotline: 0800 567 567

***dePreventionDay

10/09/2020

Old post, but thought to share.

The lockdown experience and living through a pandemic has left us navigating through life in a way unimaginable. Every day is either an opportunity or a challenge and sometimes both. We have had to make room for joy and lament; loss and gain; highs and lows to coexist simultaneously. This to say; there is lots to reflect on- including reminiscing on how celebrations and rituals have not been the same.

# MentalHealth

Welcome to Abbotts College, at Abbotts College we offer specialised and focused education in a non-traditional but structured environment where individuality is valued. Our unique College caters for students from Grades 8 – 12. The core philosophy of Abbotts College is the belief in the individual...

01/09/2020

Healing doesn't mean the pain never existed. It means that the damage no longer controls our lives. LET GO! Embrace the new day- SPRING🌻- and embody new thoughts concerning yourself. Learn the rhythms of Grace that come with each day, allow the potential of the day to provoke the courage to welcome the healing that calls for you.
You have been waiting for this. You have been yearning for this. Step in. It's Yours to Embrace! Let Light In

31/08/2020

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love"~ Martin Luther King

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Forgiveness requires a willingness to let go. Your soul aches for the freedom that comes from such a release. Our souls require a healing that's deeper (never superficial) In order to elevate past the hurt, to transcend beyond what happened, to let go of what no longer serves you, to protect your energy daily, to master your thoughts and emotions, and to love yourself unconditionally; honoring your body temple.

Remember: When you forgive, you heal. And when you let go, you grow!

27/08/2020

Don't run from the opportunity to process your trauma and emotional experiences. Your trauma may have changed you. You may have had to grieve the old you as a result; But there is hope to finding new strength and joy.

Triggers can happen when you least expect them. When you think all the emotional wounds are healed, something can happen to remind you that the scar is still there. It is time to wear your new parts, warts and scars with COURAGE. It can only control who you are if you give consent.

Start to process. It is time! Time doesn't erase what happened. But Time can invite you to HEAL, if you allow it.