Niki Alexandra Integrative Counselling

Niki Alexandra Integrative Counselling Integrative Online Counselling and Neurodivergent Life Coaching services, from a passionate and empathetic Neurodivergent counsellor.

I make use of cognitive, somatic, holistic and creative art techniques. I am a neurodivergent specialist wellness counsellor who is passionate about helping people live their lives in full colour- as their best unique and authentic selves. For the past 9 years I was a psychology lecturer and mentor/counsellor to university students. Before that I taught drama to children and adults, and performed as a dancer and theatre actor. I enjoy using creative therapy techniques and especially love working with neurodivergent young adults to help them accept and express themselves fully.

Ever left a religion… but your body didn’t get the memo?If your body still reacts like you’re in danger — even though yo...
13/08/2025

Ever left a religion… but your body didn’t get the memo?

If your body still reacts like you’re in danger — even though you’ve left the belief system — that’s not overreacting.

That’s your nervous system holding on to the rules, punishments, and unspoken threats you were raised with.

This is what Religious Trauma Syndrome can look like in the body… and why healing isn’t just about changing your beliefs — it’s about teaching your body it’s safe now.

✨ Save this if it resonates
✨ Share with someone unlearning the same messages
✨ Follow for more on RTS and recovery

Have you ever left a religion… and realised the fear came with you?The fear of punishment.The guilt for thinking differe...
11/08/2025

Have you ever left a religion… and realised the fear came with you?

The fear of punishment.
The guilt for thinking differently.
The constant wondering if you’re wrong.

That’s not “just adjusting” — it might be Religious Trauma Syndrome.

RTS is a term coined by Dr. Marlene Winell in 2011 after working with hundreds of people recovering from authoritarian, high-control faith systems.
She saw the same symptoms over and over again: chronic shame, identity loss, anxiety, depression, panic, even physical illness — and no one was naming it.

It’s not an official DSM diagnosis (yet), but it describes a very real pattern:
😮‍💨 Guilt for being yourself
🧠 Intrusive religious thoughts
💔 Loss of your whole community
🫥 Feeling unsafe without the rules you were raised in

RTS overlaps with CPTSD — but it also carries unique wounds from spiritual abuse and indoctrination. And once you name it, you can start to work with it.

If this feels like you:
💾 Save this post to read again when you need the reminder
🌀 Follow for more on RTS and religious trauma recovery
📩 Reach out if you want to unpack this in a safe, neuroaffirming space

You’re not broken. You’re unlearning conditioning that was never yours to carry.

Religious trauma isn’t just about what happened in church. It’s what happens when any belief system teaches you to disco...
09/08/2025

Religious trauma isn’t just about what happened in church. It’s what happens when any belief system teaches you to disconnect from yourself… and call that faith.

Maybe it wasn’t Christianity.
Maybe it was purity culture.
Maybe it was a parent using scripture as control.
Maybe it was a temple, a mosque, a cult, a “community” where you were punished for thinking differently, loving differently, being neurodivergent, or being you.

And maybe you're still carrying the weight of it:
😶‍🌫️ Flinching at the word “God”
😶‍🌫️ Guilt for resting or setting boundaries
😶‍🌫️ Feeling dirty for wanting s*x, pleasure, or joy
😶‍🌫️ Panic when someone says “you’re being tested”
😶‍🌫️ A voice in your head that still asks: “But what if they were right?”

That’s not spiritual. That’s trauma in your nervous system.

And I want you to know:
✨ You are not crazy
✨ You are not being deceived
✨ You are not overreacting
✨ You are not alone

You’re recovering from emotional programming that said your worth was conditional. That said obedience > intuition. That said fear = holiness.

And you get to reclaim it.
All of it.

If this lands…
💾 Save it for later
🌀 Share with someone who’s deconstructing too
📩 DM me if you're ready to untangle this mess in a way that actually honours your nervous system

Let’s rebuild your inner truth — on your terms. 💜

I know what it’s like to sit in a circle where everyone smiles… while you’re silently breaking inside.I know the ache of...
06/08/2025

I know what it’s like to sit in a circle where everyone smiles… while you’re silently breaking inside.

I know the ache of being told to “just pray about it” when what you really needed was someone to see you, hear you, and believe you.

That’s why I do this work. 💜
To help survivors of religious trauma:
✨ Find safety in their own bodies
✨ Make sense of their experiences
✨ Reconnect with the parts they were told to hide

If this post resonates with you:
📌 Save it for when you need the reminder you’re not alone
💌 Share it with someone who might need to see it
📩 DM me or visit nikialexandra.com to learn more about trauma‑informed, neuroaffirming counselling

You deserve spaces where your truth is welcome — not edited.

Freeze is the trauma response that gets misunderstood the most. It’s not indecision. It’s not laziness. It’s your body w...
31/07/2025

Freeze is the trauma response that gets misunderstood the most. It’s not indecision. It’s not laziness. It’s your body whispering: “Shh… we’re not safe yet.”

And in that stillness? Your system is working overtime to protect you. No need to fight it. Just meet yourself with softness.

Sensory overwhelm doesn’t always hit right away.Sometimes it creeps in after the noise, the lights, the crowds... when y...
29/07/2025

Sensory overwhelm doesn’t always hit right away.
Sometimes it creeps in after the noise, the lights, the crowds... when you’re finally alone, and your body says “Too much.”

This is a sensory hangover. It’s real. It’s physical. It’s valid.

🧠 Rest. Dim lights. Silence. No guilt.

Ever rewatched the same show 10 times? Repeated a word or sound because it just felt right? That’s not obsession. It’s r...
25/07/2025

Ever rewatched the same show 10 times? Repeated a word or sound because it just felt right? That’s not obsession. It’s regulation.

Repetition brings rhythm. Rhythm brings safety.
✨ Especially in a chaotic world.

Ever felt like your brain hit a wall and your body said “no more”?That’s a shutdown. It’s not you being lazy or dramatic...
18/07/2025

Ever felt like your brain hit a wall and your body said “no more”?

That’s a shutdown. It’s not you being lazy or dramatic.

It’s your nervous system pulling the emergency brake.

🌱 With compassion and regulation, you can gently come back online.

Start with quiet. Safety. Zero pressure.

Trauma isn't just what happened—it's what got trapped inside.Emotional flashbacks can feel like sudden waves of panic, s...
16/07/2025

Trauma isn't just what happened—it's what got trapped inside.

Emotional flashbacks can feel like sudden waves of panic, shame, rage, or sadness... even if "nothing happened."

This is your nervous system (your body!) remembering what your mind forgot.

You’re not broken. You’re processing.

✨ Tip: Ground in the now. Say your name out loud. Feel your feet.

To those with chronic illness, if you've ever felt guilty for needing rest, this is your reminder: pacing isn't a weakne...
15/07/2025

To those with chronic illness, if you've ever felt guilty for needing rest, this is your reminder: pacing isn't a weakness—it's WISDOM.

How many spoons do you have today? 🥄

✨ Protect your spoons. Honour your rhythm.

S*x with ADHD can be electric.Hyperfocus can feel like you’ve merged with your partner — like nothing else exists.But th...
08/07/2025

S*x with ADHD can be electric.
Hyperfocus can feel like you’ve merged with your partner — like nothing else exists.
But then…
Your brain starts narrating a to-do list.
You’re in your head.
You can’t feel anything anymore.
And you might start to question if you’re faking it.

You’re not.

ADHD minds aren’t designed for linear experiences.
We zoom in, zoom out, get distracted, come back.
And that’s okay.

You’re still allowed to enjoy intimacy.
You don’t have to be “fully present” to be worthy of connection.

✨ Save this for the nights you spiral. You’re not broken. You’re just neurodivergent.

*x *xAndADHD

Nobody told us that s*x would be this layered.That for some of us, it’s not about performance or positions —It’s about n...
01/07/2025

Nobody told us that s*x would be this layered.
That for some of us, it’s not about performance or positions —
It’s about nervous system safety.

For many neurodivergent people, s*x isn’t just physical.
It’s sensory seeking.
It’s emotional vulnerability.
It’s a way to co-regulate, feel grounded, and come back into our bodies.

And when we don’t feel safe?
⚡ Our arousal shuts down
⚡ Our bodies disconnect
⚡ Our minds race or go numb
⚡ We might fawn, freeze, or feel shame

This isn’t dysfunction.
It’s a signal.
Your body isn’t broken — it’s asking for slowness, for attunement, for presence.

When intimacy feels safe, our capacity expands.
Our pleasure deepens.
Our trust builds.
And that, my love, is healing.

💜 Save this for the days your nervous system needs a reminder:
You are allowed to feel safe first.

*xAndADHD *xIsNotJustPhysical

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