14/03/2026
A Warrior’s Legacy: Standing Together Against Gender-Based Violence
By Donna Lizelle
Donna Lizelle Counselling and Mediation
Gender-Based Violence (GBV) is not just a statistic. It is a human story that touches families, communities, and generations.
Like so many others, she had a name.
She had children.
She had an identity.
Her name was Yvette Patricia Brown (Carrington).
Her life was taken from her through Gender-Based Violence, yet she should not be remembered as a victim. She should be remembered as a warrior—a woman who took her last breath protecting her children.
Those children have grown up carrying her legacy. They continue the fight to educate others about the devastating reality of GBV, something that continues to plague our country and the world.
Across South Africa, women and children make up the majority of those affected by gender-based violence. Some manage to escape and find support. However, even after leaving an abusive environment, the emotional scars can remain for years.
For many survivors, the question “Am I safe?” becomes a constant companion.
They may also face silent judgement from society—people who cannot understand what they have never experienced. But instead of judging, we must choose understanding. Education and awareness are essential if we are to stand together against GBV.
Like a wound left untreated, violence continues to spill over into the next generation if we do not address it. The cycle will only stop when we begin to support one another, speak openly, and create safe spaces for healing.
There is never justification for harming another human being. Violence is one of the most destructive acts imaginable. Yet healing is possible. When we heal ourselves, we prevent our pain from spilling over onto those who love us—especially our children.
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The Many Faces of Abuse
Gender-based violence is often misunderstood.
Many people associate abuse with visible injuries: bruises, broken bones, or violent shouting. However, abuse is not limited to physical violence.
It can be emotional manipulation.
It can be psychological control.
It can be financial restriction.
It can be subtle isolation from friends and family.
Abuse often begins slowly. At first it may appear as jealousy, control, or criticism. Over time, the situation escalates until the victim feels trapped, powerless, and unsure of how to leave.
By the time someone realizes they are in an abusive relationship, they may already feel emotionally and psychologically bound to their abuser.
This is why hindsight can be painful. Survivors often ask themselves how they did not see the signs earlier. The reality is that abuse rarely starts with violence—it starts with control.
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From Survivor to Warrior
Recently, I spoke with someone who lost her mother to gender-based violence. Her perspective challenged me to rethink the language we often use.
The word “survivor” describes someone who remains alive after a dangerous event. But GBV is rarely a single event. It is often a long and painful journey of manipulation, fear, and emotional trauma.
Those who manage to leave an abusive situation do far more than simply survive.
They make an incredibly brave decision to choose life.
The moment someone decides to leave, they know the risks involved. Leaving an abusive partner can be one of the most dangerous moments in the entire relationship.
Yet they do it anyway.
For this reason, perhaps we should consider another word.
Perhaps they are not simply survivors.
Perhaps they are warriors.
A GBV warrior is someone who stands up for their right to live, even when fear is overwhelming. They choose hope when everything around them has tried to break them.
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The Lasting Impact of GBV
The effects of gender-based violence extend far beyond the immediate situation.
Children who grow up in abusive environments often carry deep emotional wounds into adulthood. It can affect their self-worth, their relationships, and how they view the world.
For many, trauma can manifest in different ways:
• Difficulty trusting others
• Unhealthy relationship patterns
• Low self-esteem
• Seeking validation in harmful relationships
• Emotional isolation
Healing from these experiences is not easy. It often requires professional support, patience, and a strong network of people who provide encouragement and understanding.
Counselling can play a vital role in helping individuals rebuild their sense of identity and self-worth.
At Donna Lizelle Counselling and Mediation, creating safe spaces for healing conversations is at the heart of this work.
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The Role of Education and Community
There is a well-known saying: “It takes a village.”
This is especially true when it comes to preventing gender-based violence.
GBV is happening closer to home than many people realize. Someone you know may be experiencing it right now.
One of the most difficult aspects of abuse is that the person experiencing it must ultimately make the decision to leave. That decision requires time, courage, support, and often financial resources.
Many abusers control money, relationships, and social connections, making it extremely difficult for victims to escape.
This is why community awareness is so important.
Support networks must understand that leaving an abusive relationship is not a simple or immediate process. It requires patience, understanding, and often professional intervention.
When we educate ourselves about the warning signs of abuse, we become better equipped to support those who may need help.
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Using Our Voices
Breaking the silence around gender-based violence is one of the most powerful tools we have.
By speaking openly about these issues, we challenge the culture of silence that often allows abuse to continue behind closed doors.
The courage of individuals who share their stories creates awareness and encourages others to seek help.
When communities stand together against violence, real change becomes possible.
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What We Must Remember
Acts of violence destroy lives, families, and futures.
But we all have a role to play in creating safer communities.
We can:
• Educate ourselves about the signs of abuse
• Support survivors without judgement
• Encourage those in danger to seek professional help
• Speak out against violence in our communities
Most importantly, we must remember that love is kind.
Love does not control.
Love does not isolate.
Love does not harm.
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Help Is Available in South Africa
If you or someone you know is experiencing gender-based violence, help is available.
Stop Gender Violence Helpline
📞 0800 150 150
Available 24 hours a day in multiple South African languages.
Gender-Based Violence Command Centre
📞 0800 428 428
📱 Dial 1207867 # from any cellphone
Human Trafficking Helpline
📞 08000 737 283
Halt Elder Abuse Line (HEAL)
📞 0800 003 081
You are not alone. Support is available.
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Donna Lizelle
General Counsellor | Family Mediator | Trauma Debriefer
Donna Lizelle Counselling and Mediation
📞 071 352 6812
📧 donnacounselling.mediation@gmail.com
