07/10/2024
WHERE “ARE” YOU ON 7 OCTOBER? WITH THE MOTHERS OF ISRAEL?
Dear Friend,
I look forward to the time, when Moshiach has come and we are in a world of peace, when our children or grandchildren will ask us "where were you on 7 October?"
But for now, none of us would think of today in the same file as where we were on 9/11, JFK, or Pearl Harbor. The question today that we must never stop asking, to ourselves, is not where were you but where ARE you? Today!
This was the first question put to mankind, 5785 years ago this week, the first time the world went dark by the deed of man.
Today, when over the last 12 months that darkness is all the more pronounced and the consequences of evil in the world is all the more prevalent, that question (put by God to Adam and Eve, and by extension all of us since then, who were given the task "to serve and protect" the purpose for the world we live in, has become more urgent than ever.
So where are you today?
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I'll share with you where I am.
For me personally, the "high moment" of the last 12 months was watching Noa Argamani (literally hours after her miraculous rescue by the heroic angels of the IDF who - under the leadership of Commander Arnon Zamora of sacred memory and for whom the operation was renamed "Operation Arnon" - extracted her from the clutches of her barbaric captors in a battle that took Arnon's life) as she was walking into the hospital to see her mother Liora and fulfill her mother's dying wish to see her child before she passed away - which sadly she did just a few weeks later.
That's the high moment. Thank you Hashem for that. For this we will never give up on our joy or dancing. PG may we have only many many more such moments.
But the low moment for me of these last twelve months happened while watching the heart-rending eulogy given by Rachel Polin-Goldberg.
She opened her words with superhuman courage: "I have had a lot of time during the past 332 days to think about my sweet boy, my Hersh. And one thing I keep thinking about is how out of all the mothers in the world, G-d chose to give Hersh to me. What must I have done in a past life to deserve such a beautiful gift? It must have been glorious."
That opening will go down in history as arguably one of the greatest declarations of faith and trust in God that man has ever seen.
But the moment that captures the lowest depths of pain and suffering of these last twelve months is something I heard as she began her closing words "Ok, sweet boy, go now on your journey, I hope it’s as good as the trips you dreamed about, because finally, my sweet sweet boy, finally, finally, finally, finally you are free!"
Even now, as I am typing this email, though I didn't go back to watch the video and just copied and pasted the text here, I couldn't hold back the rush of tears while remembering the chill that went down my spine when she was saying those words, when I heard her guttural primal scream, the most painful sound I think I ever heard in my life, watching and hearing the cry of Rachel Polin-Goldberg as she shared those words.
The cry of Rachel the mother of Hersh, Rachel our mother, Rochel Imeinu.
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On Friday morning in Shul as I shared this memory before the blowing of the Shofar on the second day of Rosh Hashana, I asked everyone to turn their Machzor back just one page to the words of the legendary Haftorah from the Prophet Jeremiah that Rabbi Shlomo had just read:
"A voice is heard on high, lamentation, bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children, she refuses to be comforted for her children, for they are not."
"So says the Lord: Refrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for there is reward for your work, says the Lord, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy."
The Midrash explains that the prophet was referring to the time, 2,500 years ago, in the first 7 October style attack on Israel, when the Ayatollahs of Iran (then called the Babylonian empire) had their proxies cut through the border fences of Israel.
And then, following the destruction of the first Holy Temple, on the backs of (the ancient version of) pick-up trucks, motor-cycles and even the blood soaked cars of their own victims, the young men and women of Israel who had been r***d, tortured and murdered were taken hostage, taken out of our land of Israel. Forever?
The Midrash says that the verses of the prophet are describing how as the children of Israel were being led into captivity there was a clamour in the heavenly chambers. Our patriarchs and matriarchs cried, prayed and invoked their own merit begging before the heavenly throne for mercy on their children of Israel being taken into captivity..
It was only to the cries of Rachel Imainu - Rachel our mother however, that Hashem responded (and continued, in the very next verse of the Haftorah quoted above):
"There is hope for your future, says the Lord, and your children shall return to their own border."
"And you children shall return"
Why? Because "there is reward for your work."
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What was the "work" that Rachel had done that brought her, and only her, the Divine promise and comfort that her children would come home?
Abraham and Isaac invoked the sacrifice of the Akeida. The pain of loss and death, whether Abraham losing his only son (by his own doing!), or Isaac giving up his own life, is the "ultimate" sacrifice a person can make. Of course. But from personal experience I can tell you that with the unparalleled pain that the finality of death brings - it also allows for the healing process and comfort that are part of the nature with which God has given us life and death, to begin.
Rachel's sacrifice was different. On the morning of her wedding day to Jacob who loved her so deeply, she gives up her entire life('s dream). You see, to avoid the trickery of her father's evil plan to marry off her older sister Leah to Jacob instead of her, she and Jacob had devised a code that she would say to affirm that it was her under the traditional wedding veil, the cover of which her father thought he would use to fool his soon-to-be-son-in-law..
But then, on that morning, as that exact situation began to play out and their father told Leah to wear the wedding gown and veil, instead of going with Plan B that would at least protect her relationship with Jacob, she instead goes with the devastating Plan C and gives to Leah the code, thereby giving up her chance to be the first and only one to have Jacob as her husband.
Why is that greater than the sacrifice of death? Because at some level, the sacrifice of life, is much harder than the sacrifice of death.
For her there was no mourning, grieving and subsequent healing that could happen. No. For the rest of her life, every day, again and again, she saw and faced the reality - that she had given away her soul-mate, just to avoid the moment of shame her sister would have endured.
Today, yesterday and tomorrow, that harsh reality was there for her to live with as she watched Jacob marry and have children with someone else (even after he then married her as well). And who knows if it was part of why she died so young in the pain of childbirth, perhaps augmented by the pain of her forever broken heart.
But "there is a reward for your deeds... And there is hope for your future, says the Lord, and your children shall return to their own border."
Today.
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Rachel Imainu, "our" mother Rachel Polin-Goldberg whose pain as a mother all of Am Yisrael feels today, has not stopped crying since the day her son was buried. Neither have the 1,500+ other mothers of Israel who have laid their children to rest, or tragically like Rebbetzin Shelley Perez - formerly of Cape Town (whose heroic son Captain Daniel who was killed that horrible day while battling the terrorists, and body taken into captivity so his family) are still waiting for that chance to bury him.
The tens of thousands of mothers whose children are on the border of Israel haven't stopped crying from the fear of their children's safety. Nor have the hundreds of thousands of mothers in Israel who are raising their children in a world where their three year old kids want the seat at the supper table which is closest to the bomb shelter. Neither have the millions of Jewish mothers in Israel who are needing to answer the questions of their children, that they never dreamt of in their own childhood.
Rachel Imainu is crying today. The mothers of Israel are crying today.
And where are you? Where am I?
What "work" are we doing for the Rochel's of the world, to bring them the divine reward, to bring them the "hope for your future," so that "finally, finally, finally you are free" - but not God forbid just the freedom that Hersh has today resting in the peace of his death and out of captivity - no, that is not enough.
What work are we doing today so that "your children shall return to their own border" in the truest most literal sense with the coming of Moshiach when Hersh will be reunited with his mother in the same way that Noa was reunited with hers?
Our political and military leaders are primarily focused on the "exile" solutions of defeating our enemies militarily and securing our borders permanently, and most importantly returning our hostages today. But we can't be satisfied with merely treating the immediate symptoms and give up on healing the wound, the root cause of all this suffering.
That's what Rachel was ultimately crying about. And that's what we need to do for her, for all of the Rachels, today. We need a true and holistic "hope for the future" when "your children," all of them, every last one of them, will "return to their own border" - not in body bags for burial, but in a world of peace when "those who rest in the dust will arise and sing" in the arms of their mother Rachel.
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So we need to learn from the first Rachel. Today. We need to do her work for her.
Yes, close your eyes for a moment and think about your Leah, the person that might be very close to you in your life, maybe a sibling like Leah whom you never really got along with in the first place and is now engaged in still causing you grief? Maybe a parent that caused (or causes) you terrible pain and somewhat irreparable damage in your sense of self? Maybe a child who doesn't show you gratitude for everything you've done and continues to cause heartache? Maybe even your spouse who almost never seems to live up to the dreams you shared when starting out and isn't worth the investment anymore?
Or think of any and every one of your brothers and sisters around you for whom you know there is more you could and should be doing to help them, with financial assistance, a kind word, moral support, or spiritual guidance and encouragement - even though you will have to live with the consequences of your sacrifice that for the rest of your life.
Of course in all of the examples above there are still the vital tools that are critical to ensuring that you are making your sacrifice in a way that will protect, support and encourage your emotional health and spiritual growth. But even still, it is not an easy sacrifice to make. Other than knowing that "there is reward for your work.”
And is there anything we want today more than that reward?
Today, I am going to do that and I will try to be like Rachel, and even at the risk of giving them agency over my life's dreams, I will sacrifice something for them. I will do something important, and difficult, to manifest the most important Mitzvah in the Torah - Love your fellow as yourself.
Find Rachel's love for Leah (whomever the Leah in your life might be) in your heart - because it's there, Find that love and nurture it, express it, and do something about it.
Can you? Today?
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But what did Rachel actually give Leah? Wouldn't that secret code be something we should look at today?
Well, the Daat Zkeinim commentary shares that it was in fact a tri-code; three words: Challah, Nida and Hadlakat Nairot. The three Mitzvot that are especially associated with women - Challah, and by extension Kashrut, Nida - Family Purity centred around the holiness of a Jewish women's body and soul, and Hadlakat Neirot - Shabbat Candle Lighting.
These three pillars of Jewish life is what Rachel gave to Leah on that day of her wedding, and in the merit of that work God promised her that she can wipe her tears.
Challah which symbolizes Kosher is a tool that we can all use so badly right now in enhancing what and how we consume our food, and never has the Jewish world needed us to be living our best Kosher life today. Today I am going to be channeling the code of Rachel to enhance my own personal Kosher eating habits in a way that will reflect that, and will try to inspire others as well.
Can you? Today?
Niddah, the most sacred of all Mitzvos isn't just what revolves around the monthly immersion of a Jewish women through which she can radiate her holiness outward and embrace her loved one inwards. No. It is the mindset and choices of every Jewish man and woman (around what they wear - and watch, what they speak about or listen to, and especially what they think about or dream into) that only enhances their inner holiness and the sacred creative drive that lies at the heart of human experience - and not surrendering to the choices that would do the opposite.
Today I am going to hold the code of Rachel with reverence in my resolution to respect my divinely given human and holy creative energy in a way that would make her proud.
Can you? Today?
Hadlakat Neirot, the lighting of the Shabbat candles, is the ultimate Mitzvah of the Jewish mother - bringing light into the world. Today I will be doing my best to inspire and help more Jewish women and girls to light their Shabbat candles like Rachel and Leah every single Friday for the rest of their life at least 18 minutes before sunset, and everyone of us to make our Shabbat holier, more meaningful, observed more meticulously and filled with more light.
Can you? Today?
Our mother Rachel gave us the code - shouldn't we use it? Today.
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As a student of the Rebbe, my general world outlook, and in particular my framework of studying Torah, is drawn from the teachings of my saintly mentor and teacher. Everything that I have shared with you here today is in some way or another inspired by the Rebbe. (A fellow student, Rabbi Shneor Ashkenazy living in Israel drew my attention to some of the parallels of today's events to these teachings of the Rebbe that illuminate a perspective on our current reality and I thank him for that).
Tonight, the sixth of Tishrei, marks the 60th Yarzeit of the Rebbe's mother, Rebbetzin Chana of blessed memory.
It is no coincidence that her name, spelled with the Hebrew letters of Ches Nun and Hey, is the acronym of the three words, of the three Mitzvos, Challa, Niddah and Hadlakat Neirot, that Rochel told Leah as the code that was giving her life's dream away in an act of indescribable sacrifice.
When talking about his life's work dedicated to the Ahavat Yisrael of selfless sacrifice to and for others in need, the Rebbe spoke of the inspiration that he took from his mother, who like Rochel Imeinu, was a true mother of Israel.
I miss the Rebbe always, but never more than at times like these when the confusion and chaos of the world around us cries out for a voice of clarity and vision at the level that only his voice offered. The Galus we are in, the Exile we are enduring, is painful, and his soothing voice both offers comfort and yet fires up our passion to finally bring this Golus to an end.
I have no question that what the Rebbe is telling us today is what we need most is a complete and final solution to the problems that we are facing and the only way to achieve that is through the coming of Moshiach and the complete Redemption of the world.
I have set up a page for our community to come together as we dedicate our work today for the cries of Rachel at https://onemitzvah.org/israel/chabad-of-the-west-coast---cape-town and I invite you to join me there so that finally God's words to Rachel "refrain your voice from weeping" can finally be fulfilled.
That's where I am today?
Can you be here too?
With blessings for the complete and immediate redemption through the coming of Moshiach,
Rabbi Oshy Deren
P.S. The Rebbe taught a very thorough and rigorous approach to the military and political challenges that Israel faces, imbued by the same principled outlook rooted in the application of our eternal wisdom into every situation we are facing. My thoughts today do not touch on that, and if you would be interested you can see some it here - https://www.chabad.org/news/article_cdo/aid/6519937
