Un-Patterned by Minky K
Break patterns. Heal the past. Live free. I Remembered Me!
Un-Patterned by Minky K is a space for anyone ready to break old patterns, heal generational wounds, and reclaim their personal power. Created by Minky K - Transformational Coach, Family Constellation Facilitator, and author of OMG! This platform supports you in releasing inherited fear, rebuilding self-trust, and living with freedom and authenticity. Work with me, join the community, or explore tools that help you un-pattern your life and step into who you were always meant to be.
You don’t need to fix your past - you just need to stop letting it define you.
Sometimes we think healing means going back and rewriting every chapter.
But the truth is this:
Your power is in who you choose to be today - not in who your past conditioned you to be.
You’re allowed to grow.
You’re allowed to change.
You’re allowed to outgrow entire identities.
You are not your history - you are the author of what comes next.
Want to release the inherited patterns keeping you small?
Visit my website: https://minkyk.weebly.com/
Minky Koekemoer | Un-Patterned
21/11/2025
With everything happening in our country right now - women standing up, speaking out, and refusing to carry the shame or blame for violence done to them - this message feels even more urgent. Guilt does not belong to us for someone else’s actions, choices, or harm.
And while I was having my own little wobble the other day, a friend reminded me: “Read page 20 of your own book.”
OMG. The laugh I had!
So, here’s the reminder - for me, for you, for all of us.
Let’s Drop the Guilt, Shall We!
That lingering guilt… the kind that shows up when you say no, take a break, ask for space, or - heaven forbid - actually enjoy yourself!
Yeah, that one. It’s time to let it go.
Because guilt is not a moral compass. It’s an inherited default setting from generations of women trained to serve, appease, and self-sacrifice like it was an Olympic sport. And we’ve won gold in it, time and again.
But guess what? That game is rigged, and we’re done playing.
You don’t need to feel bad for taking up space, taking care of your needs, or delighting in the simple pleasures of life. That’s not selfish - that’s sacred.
Rest is not laziness. Pleasure is not indulgent. Saying no is not a crime.
We were programmed to feel guilty for wanting more - more love, more peace, more joy, more chocolate, more sleep, more or***ms (yep, I said it). We learned to shrink, apologise, and compromise just to be liked, needed, or approved of.
But here’s the revolutionary truth:
You don’t need permission to feel good.
You were not born to be in service to everyone but yourself.
You’re allowed to want more.
You’re allowed to shine.
You’re allowed to feel sexy, silly, powerful, radiant, raw, soft, messy, and gloriously human - all in one day.
You are not here to be the unpaid emotional labourer of the universe.
So go ahead.
Drop the guilt.
Set it down gently… or throw it off a cliff.
Either way - don’t carry it one more step.
Failure to Launch - Houston, We Have a Problem! 🚀
(Extract from my book, “OMG I Remembered Me!” by Minky Koekemoer)
In my practice, I’ve met countless women stuck on the launchpad of life - brilliant, soulful, wildly capable women who are circling the runway but just can’t seem to take off. Whether it’s in love, work, creativity, purpose, or simply giving themselves permission to want more, the struggle is heartbreakingly real.
And spoiler alert: even the most outwardly “together” women often carry a hidden wound. Still seeking their mother’s approval. Still terrified of outshining the people who once dimmed them. Still quietly asking: Am I allowed to want this?
This is what I call the Mother Wound in action.
It’s subtle. It’s sneaky. And it’s been running the show from behind the curtain like a shadowy stage manager with a grudge.
It shows up as self-doubt, self-sabotage, guilt, shame, and that nagging fear that if we finally do shine, we’ll be punished, abandoned, or - worse - ignored.
But here’s the truth bomb, straight from the cosmic control tower:
You were born for lift-off. 💫
The real, gritty, glorious inner work of healing isn’t about becoming some shiny, perfect version of yourself.
It’s about peeling back the layers and reconnecting with the luminous, unfiltered you that’s been buried under decades of inherited fear and outdated scripts.
It’s not just about healing.
It’s about launching - your light, your joy, your unapologetic brilliance.
Launching the dream you’ve secretly carried.
The voice you’ve muted.
The life you’ve been told was “too much,” “not practical,” or “someday.”
It’s about reclaiming your place in the world - not as someone who’s here to serve everyone else’s needs - but as a force of nature, here to embody your own sacred, soulful YES.
And yes; the old systems will grumble. The inner critic will throw one last tantrum. The people around you might fumble and flinch as you shed the old skin.
But guess what?
You’re not here to be comfortable.
You’re here to be free.
So grab your truth. Strap on your courage.
The countdown has begun. 🚀
💫 Extract from my book, “OMG I Remembered Me! Break the Patterns. Reclaim Your Power. Remember Who You Are.”
Artwork Ronnie Biccard
Available on Amazon and Takealot
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Un-Patterned - How Do You Know You’re Still in Survival Mode? 💫 🥰
By Minky Koekemoer – “Un-patterned” Blog | October 2025
Excerpt / Preview
If you’re always exhausted, overthinking, people-pleasing, or proving - that’s not a personality trait.
That’s survival mode.
Your nervous system is just trying to keep you safe. It’s loyal, protective, and sometimes exhausting. The shift begins when you start listening instead of pushing.
💭 Ask yourself:
“What part of me is still trying to stay safe the old way... through control, effort, or proving?”
P.S. If you loved this, my book OMG I Remembered Me! dives even deeper into breaking old patterns and remembering who you really are.
Grab your copy! ✨
If you’re in South Africa, you can order the paperback directly from me. I’ll make sure it gets to you safely. For yourself or as a gift to someone who needs a little un-patterning magic.
P.S. If you loved this, my book OMG I Remembered Me! dives even deeper into breaking old patterns and remembering who you really are. Grab your copy here: Takealot – takealot.com/OMG or Amazon – Paperback: amzn.to/OMG-Paperback | Ebook: amzn.to/OMG-Ebook
16/09/2025
🚀 It’s finally here!
After years of healing, writing, laughing (and crying), I am beyond thrilled to announce that my book OMG! I Remembered Me! is about to be published.
This book is for every woman who has ever felt stuck in old patterns, carried wounds that weren’t hers, or wondered if she was “too much” or “not enough.” It’s about breaking free, reclaiming your power, and remembering who you truly are.
✨ Break the patterns.
✨ Reclaim your power.
✨ Remember who you are.
This isn’t just a book—it’s a call to rise.
💛 Thank you to everyone who has walked this journey with me. I can’t wait to place this book in your hands.
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“Soul work is the core need of every path and every pursuit. Without it our lives feel empty, dead, directionless and meaningless. Without it, we remain psychologically and spiritually immature, In other words, without soul work, we can never ripen into our fullest potential. “Mateo Sol”
Family Constellation offers one a unique tool in order to connect and work on a soul level.
Healing entanglements and belief systems within our family system. We take on behavioral patterns and follow in our parents and ancestors footsteps on a subconscious level - we are not even aware we are doing so. Here we are able to heal and restore the flow of love by honoring their journey and giving it back.
Through family Constellation we are also able to heal the Mother Wound which is passed down the Matriarchal line from one generation to the next, from Mother to Daughter. This is where we keep ourselves small, unable to shine our light and step into our power as woman, out of loyalty to our Mothers, and those that came before. We fear that if we allow ourselves to shine, if we embrace our bodies and our sexuality, if we achieve greatness then we will loose our Mothers love, for how can we be better than her. It is out of loyalty that we keep ourselves small. Working on a Soul level allows us to see the truth to acknowledge the pain, to grieve the loss and let the wound go.
The relationship between a Mother and child has a great impact on our souls and our journey. We are born from her and therefore are deeply connected to her. In the womb we pick up on all that she feels and what is going on around her, so already our Mothers are having a huge impact on the development stages of our lives, she is setting the foundation...
The beliefs systems passed down through the ages living under a Negative Patriarchal rule has affected women throughout time, confirming that woman are not good enough, must be kept small, are stupid, are not allowed to participate, have no rights, as well as being abused mentally , emotionally, sexually and physically.... the list goes on, affecting our self worth and our Power. Today more and more women are standing up and taking back their power, healing the wounds from the past in order for future Women and Men to grow up in and equal society.
We are able to access and heal so much through the Family constellation method. it has a profound healing affect that ripples through out time.
We are all energy and therefore can access anything through this modality, from physical illness, to emotional issues, to belief systems. WE are able to take back our power, Embrace our self worth, let go of abuses and childhood pains, releasing the patterns and unseen shackles that keeps us bound to those in the past.
We can finally set ourselves free to live our lives fully.
