Thirusha Mohabir Clinical Psychologist

07/09/2025

🚫 The Myth of the Timeline – Why You’re Not Behind

By 25 you should have a career.
By 30 you should be married.
By 35 you should have children.
By 40 you should own a house.

Sound familiar? These “rules” aren’t truths; they’re social timelines that quietly pressure us into believing life is a race with checkpoints. And if we miss one? We tell ourselves we’ve failed.

But here’s the truth: there is no universal timeline.

💡 Why the Timeline Is a Myth

● It’s based on cultural expectations, not personal reality.
● It ignores the fact that people grow, heal, and thrive at different stages.
● It reduces success to checkboxes instead of meaning.

🌱 Redefining Success on Your Terms

1️⃣ Question the Script – Who told you this is the only way to live?
2️⃣ Claim Your Wins – Healing, surviving, or starting again count too.
3️⃣ Choose Your Milestones – Success is what aligns with your values, not what looks good on paper.

✨ Remember: You’re not late. You’re not behind. You’re writing your own story, and that story doesn’t need to fit into someone else’s timeline.

💬 This post is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or label others. If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified professional.

📅 Join me next Monday as we explore how to quiet the harsh voice in your head. 💚

01/09/2025

🌸 Spring Reminds Us: Growth Isn’t a Race

Mental health progress is rarely a straight line. It’s more like a garden; some parts blooming, some resting, some still growing roots.

Yet in a world that glorifies speed and constant productivity, it’s easy to feel “behind” when your journey doesn’t match someone else’s timeline. We scroll through highlight reels online, watch friends hit milestones, and quietly wonder: “Why am I not there yet?”

But just like spring reminds us; growth doesn’t happen all at once. 🌱

💡 A Spring Reflection:

🌼 Visible Growth — the joy of laughing again, reconnecting, or finally finishing something you’ve been avoiding.
🌼 Hidden Growth — healing quietly, processing old pain, learning to rest without guilt.
🌼 Slow Growth — taking longer than you hoped, but still moving forward, step by step.

All of it is valid. All of it is growth.

🌸 How to Honour Your Season:

1️⃣ Pause the Comparisons
No two flowers bloom the same way. Why expect yourself to?

2️⃣ Celebrate Micro-Moments
Even 5 minutes of peace, courage, or self-care counts. Imagine how those add up over time.

3️⃣ Nourish Yourself Daily
Like sunlight and water, you need rest, connection, and compassion to grow — not pressure.

✨ Remember: Spring doesn’t demand that every flower bloom at once. It simply makes space for each to bloom in its time. Your path is not late, slow, or wrong — it’s yours. And that’s enough.

💬 This post is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or label others. If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified professional.

📅 Join me next Monday as we talk about life milestones, why we feel “behind,” and how to embrace your own timeline. 💚

11/08/2025

🧠 Cognitive Distortions – The Mental Filters That Distort Your Reality

Our thoughts shape how we see the world—but sometimes those thoughts are tricksters.
Cognitive distortions are mental filters or thinking errors that twist reality, often making situations seem worse than they are. They can fuel anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem without us even realising it.

💡 Common Types of Cognitive Distortions

1️⃣ All-or-Nothing Thinking
Seeing things as entirely good or entirely bad.
“If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.”

2️⃣ Catastrophising
Jumping straight to the worst possible outcome.
“If I make a mistake, I’ll lose everything.”

3️⃣ Overgeneralising
Turning one event into a sweeping conclusion.
“I was rejected once—no one will ever want me.”

4️⃣ Mind Reading
Assuming you know what others think—usually something negative.
“They must think I’m stupid.”

5️⃣ Discounting the Positive
Ignoring good feedback and focusing only on flaws.
“They’re just being nice—they didn’t mean it.”

🔄 How to Challenge Them

1️⃣ Notice the Pattern
Pay attention to when you’re falling into one of these thinking traps.

2️⃣ Name the Distortion
Label it: “That’s catastrophising” or “That’s all-or-nothing thinking.”

3️⃣ Ask for Evidence
Is this thought fact or assumption? What evidence supports or contradicts it?

4️⃣ Reframe It
Replace extreme or negative language with balanced, realistic alternatives.

✨ Remember: Your thoughts are powerful—but they are not always true. Learning to spot and reframe distortions is like cleaning the lens you use to see the world.

💬 This post is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or label others. If your thoughts are impacting your daily life, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.

📅 Join me next Monday for another key to emotional wellness. 💚

04/08/2025

💡 Suppression vs. Regulation – What Healthy Emotion Management Really Looks Like

We often confuse controlling our emotions with silencing them. But bottling things up isn’t strength—it’s survival. And long-term, it takes a toll.

💡 Suppression:
This is when you push emotions down, avoid them, or pretend they’re not there.

You might:

● Smile when you want to cry
● Say “I’m fine” when you’re not
● Feel tension in your body but have no idea why

🚫 Short-term fix, long-term stress.

💡 Regulation:
This is the skill of noticing, naming, and navigating emotions—without letting them run the show or locking them away.

You might:

● Pause and take a breath
● Acknowledge: “I’m feeling anxious right now”
● Choose how to respond instead of reacting

✅ Long-term peace, even in chaos.

💡 Signs You’re Suppressing:

● You feel numb or emotionally distant
● You snap over small things
● You don’t know what you’re feeling—just that something’s off

💡 Signs You’re Regulating:

● You can sit with discomfort without panicking
● You use healthy outlets: talking, writing, walking, breathing
● You bounce back more easily from setbacks

How to Shift from Suppression to Regulation:

1️⃣ Check In, Gently
Ask: “What am I really feeling right now?”
No need to fix—just notice.

2️⃣ Give Emotions Somewhere to Go
Write them. Move with them. Speak them. Let them flow, not fester.

3️⃣ Talk to Yourself Like a Safe Friend
“I’m allowed to feel this.”
“This will pass.”
“It’s okay to not be okay.”

✨ Remember: Regulation isn’t about never feeling big emotions—it’s about creating space to feel and cope without shame.

💬 This post is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or label others. If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified professional.

📅 Join me next Monday as we explore “Cognitive Distortions" – The Mental Filters That Distort Your Reality” 💚

29/07/2025

Self-Sabotage – Why You Might Be Getting in Your Own Way

Sometimes, the biggest obstacle to our progress isn’t outside us—it’s us.

Self-sabotage can look like procrastinating, doubting yourself, or even turning down good opportunities… and often, it’s not because you’re lazy or weak—it’s because your nervous system is trying to protect you.

💡 What Self-Sabotage Might Look Like:

• Avoiding tasks that matter to you
• Downplaying your strengths
• Starting something… then ghosting your own goals
• Saying yes when you really mean no
• Holding yourself to impossible standards and then quitting

💡 What’s Really Going On?

At its core, self-sabotage is a fear response: → Fear of failure: “If I don’t try, I can’t fail.”
→ Fear of success: “If I succeed, people will expect more.”
→ Fear of rejection: “If I show up fully, they’ll leave.”

It’s a protective pattern… but one that keeps you stuck.

🛠️ Gentle Ways to Break the Pattern:

1️⃣ Notice When & Why You Self-Sabotage
Ask yourself: What am I afraid will happen if I succeed?
Bringing awareness removes shame and brings insight.

2️⃣ Take Tiny, Safe Steps Forward
Big leaps feel scary. Start with small actions that your nervous system can handle.

3️⃣ Challenge the Inner Critic
That voice saying “you can’t” is just a thought—not a fact.
Try replacing it with: “It’s safe to try.”

4️⃣ Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Progress builds trust with yourself.
Even showing up imperfectly is a win.

✨ Remember: You’re not broken—you’re adapting.

Self-sabotage doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means a part of you is scared. And scared parts can be supported and rewired with compassion.

💬 This post is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or label others. If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified professional.

📅 Join me next Monday as we begin a new month of gentle mental health insights. 💚

25/07/2025

Don't forget to check out this weeks' blog post...

“You’re too sensitive.”“Why can’t you be more like your sister?”“Stop causing drama.”If this sounds familiar, you might be the black sheep in your family—and no, it’s not in your head. Growing up as the “black sheep” isn’t just about feeling different. It’s about being tr...

21/07/2025

💡 Toxic Shame vs. Healthy Guilt – What’s the Difference?

We all make mistakes—but how we feel about them matters. Guilt and shame are not the same. One helps you grow, the other keeps you stuck.

Understanding the difference can be a powerful step in healing your inner world.

💡 Healthy Guilt:
✅ Says: “I did something wrong.”
→ Helps you take responsibility
→ Encourages empathy and repair
→ Motivates positive change

💡 Toxic Shame:
❌ Says: “There’s something wrong with me.”
→ Feels heavy and isolating
→ Often tied to early life experiences, trauma, or criticism
→ Can lead to anxiety, depression, or people-pleasing

💡 Why It Matters:
When we confuse shame for guilt, we stay stuck in cycles of self-blame.
Guilt says you’re human.
Shame says you’re broken.
Only one is true.

💡 How to Shift from Shame to Self-Compassion:

1️⃣ Separate the Action from the Self
→ “I made a mistake” is very different from “I am a mistake.”

2️⃣ Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
→ Would you say that to someone you love?

3️⃣ Recognize the Origin
→ Ask: “Whose voice is this? Is it mine—or someone else’s judgment I internalized?”

4️⃣ Repair Where You Can
→ Healthy guilt invites growth. Use it as a guide, not a punishment.

✨ Remember: You’re not your worst moment.
You’re worthy of forgiveness—including your own.

💬 This post is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or label others. If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified professional.

📅 Join me next Monday as we explore Self-Sabotage – Why You Might Be Getting in Your Own Way. 💚

17/07/2025

Don't forget to check out this weeks' post...

14/07/2025

💡 Emotional Boundaries – How to Care Without Carrying Everything

Do you often absorb other people’s pain or feel responsible for how others feel?
That’s a sign your emotional boundaries need attention.

Caring deeply is a strength—but without boundaries, it can lead to emotional burnout, resentment, and a loss of self.

💡 What Are Emotional Boundaries?
They’re the invisible lines that separate your feelings from someone else’s.
They help you stay empathetic without taking on what’s not yours to carry.

💡 Signs Your Emotional Boundaries Need Strengthening:

1️⃣ You feel drained after supporting others.
2️⃣ You feel guilty for saying no—even when you need a break.
3️⃣ You lose touch with your own needs because you’re always prioritizing someone else’s.

💡 How to Set Emotional Boundaries (and Still Be Kind):

1️⃣ Notice When You’re Carrying Too Much
Pause and ask: “Is this mine to hold?”

2️⃣ Respond, Don’t Absorb
Support others without internalizing their pain. You can be present without fixing everything.

3️⃣ Give Without Guilt
It’s okay to say: “I care about you, and I need some time to reset.”
Healthy boundaries build stronger, not weaker, relationships.

✨ Remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Boundaries protect your energy, your peace, and your ability to show up with compassion.

💬 This post is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or label others. If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified professional.

📅 Join me next Monday as we unpack the difference between toxic shame and healthy guilt. 💚

10/07/2025

Don't forget to check out this weeks' blog post...

Some parents provide food, shelter, and education—but may lack the emotional maturity to truly nurture their child’s psychological and emotional needs. If you grew up with a parent who couldn’t regulate their own emotions, dismissed yours, or made you feel responsible for their wellbeing, the ...

07/07/2025

💡 The Comparison Trap – Why Measuring Yourself Against Others Steals Your Joy

Scrolling through social media or watching others succeed can sometimes leave you feeling like you’re behind or not good enough. But comparison is the thief of joy—and it often leaves out the full picture.

💡 Why We Compare:

● We’re wired to assess how we’re doing by looking outward.
● We assume others have it easier, better, or figured out.
●We forget that we’re comparing their highlights to our behind-the-scenes.

💡 The Cost of Comparison:

● Low self-worth and increased anxiety
● Constant pressure to achieve more, look better, or be someone you’re not
● Feeling stuck or resentful, even when your life is going well

💡 How to Break Free from the Comparison Trap:

1️⃣ Notice Your Triggers
Who or what makes you feel “less than”? Mute or unfollow accounts that leave you drained.

2️⃣ Come Back to Your Values
What actually matters to you—not what looks impressive.
Example: “I want peace, not perfection.” “I value authenticity, not performance.”

3️⃣ Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Small wins, healing moments, or quiet acts of courage count too.
Keep your focus on your journey—not someone else’s pace.

✨ Remember: You’re not behind. You’re on your own timeline.
Your story isn’t meant to look like anyone else’s—and that’s your power.

💬 This post is not a substitute for professional help and should not be used to diagnose or label others. If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek support from a qualified professional.

📅 Join me next Monday as we explore emotional boundaries and how to care without carrying everything. 💚

03/07/2025

Don't forget to checkout this weeks' blog post...

In many South African families and relationships, being caring and supportive is celebrated—but sometimes, that support crosses a line. You may find yourself constantly rescuing others, fixing their messes, or sacrificing your own needs. That’s not always love. It might be codependency. 💡 Wha...