Mounties EMS

01/10/2025

🚨🔥 N2 Kwambo Rubbernecking Kombat 🔥🚨

👀 When the wreck looks juicier than the road ahead, rubberneckers turn the N2 into a soapie set. Today, we nearly had Season 3 live on location. 👀

Wednesday morning — but felt like a payday Friday. My WhatsApp rings…
“Hi, is this the ambulance?”
“Yes, Sir…” didn’t even get to finish the caller tune before he cuts in:
“Serious accident on N2 Chicken Station towards Kwambo!” Click – call drops.

Next call comes in hot:
“Are you available?”
“N2 Chicken Station?”
“Yes.”

Update control, jump into the response vehicle, and sirens become an alarm for those still in bed. Early morning lights flashing, smooth sailing all the way. No school traffic, lekker ride, until we reach the R34 / N2 intersection.

Now here’s the joke — cars chilling in the emergency lane. I suppose their emergency is “get to work before the boss”. Meanwhile, actual emergency services are trying to get to work-work.

Then one oke takes a slow left onto the N2, busy chatting on his cell, giving me the death stare like I’m the problem. If that glare had horsepower, we’d already be in the panelbeater’s workshop. 🙄

Shoutout, though — the real legend who moved over and slowed down so we could pass. Respect, bru. 👊 That’s how it’s done.

We push through Nseleni, N2 Chicken Station… nothing 😵‍💫. Scene’s quiet, traffic normal. Right, let’s roll Kwambo side — and there it is.

Services already on scene, chaos split in two. Quick update: minor injuries on the right, left side, looks heavy.

👉 Right side: Two vehicles. I ask the traffic officer, “Where’s the injured officer?” He replies, “We’re all involved. You can speak to any of us.” Took a second, then I rephrased, “The officer in the damaged traffic vehicle — where’s he?” Face changes, “Ohh, okay, he’s over there. No injury.”

This time, traffic wasn’t controlling traffic — they were traffic. The officer stopped in the emergency lane to call for help after seeing Pajero roll-over. The next thing Hyundai comes in hot and sends the X-Trail to another dimension. Officer shaken, but composed. Duty is still calling.

👉 Hyundai: Yoh, peeps. Proper mess. Bonnet peeled like a sardine tin, engine with a degloving injury, airbags popped out like pap pillows. Long surgery is coming for the panelbeaters, but the science worked — everyone walked with minor injuries.

👉 Pajero: Left side, lying solo, looks like it just finished 12 rounds with Mike Tyson. Roof bruised, windows gone, windscreen folded. Driver critical, medics working flat-out to stabilize.

And then — I recognise the face. ER Doctor. Out of comfort zone big time. No nurse to shout orders at, no neat trolley at arm’s reach. Out here? Grass, dust, leaking petrol, shouting people. Prehospital chaos is like watching the same DSTV series you know — just louder, unscripted, and no adverts. Welcome to the grass-floor theatre, Doc. 💉🔥

Now picture this: medics running, vehicles smashed, sirens still echoing. And then comes the DSTV repeat. Rubberneckers slowing down, filming, eyes off the road. One driver is so busy playing cameraman that he nearly takes out a medic crossing. Within minutes, we almost had Episode 3.

Let’s recap:

The officer stops legally to call for help.

Hyundai rubbernecks and smashes into him.

Minutes later, another driver nearly wipes out a paramedic doing the same thing.

Like DSTV repeats, bru — same script, new actors.

⚠️ SAFETY TIP:
• Flashing lights? Slow down, bru, it’s not a disco.
• Eyes on the road, not the wreck.
• Reflective jackets = real people, not traffic cones.
• We’re short on medics and traffic officers — don’t turn us into bowling pins.

👉 And here’s the truth: Paramedics and traffic officers are starting to feel like endangered species. There's only a few of us left, and once we're gone...who's gonna catch you when you crash? Treat us like rhinos on the road - rare, precious, and worth protecting.

Respect to considerate drivers who did slow down and give way. You kept us safe to do our job. 🙌

Speedy recovery to all the injured. Today we’re grateful — no lives lost, only vehicles written off. Cars can be replaced. People can’t.

30/09/2025

⛰️🚑 When the Drakensberg Relocated to Empangeni 🚑⛰️

Pay weekend Saturday night, just after 7pm, the radio cracks alive: “Serious accident, Empangeni.”
From relaxed mode to turbo in seconds — literally. The response vehicle had just come out of ICU on Friday after two months of turbo issues (even the response had to take sick leave 🤣). No time for a light- duty comeback… straight to redline, lights and sirens slicing through town.

I swing down Louis Botha — then realise, nah, this is Paul Ave 🙈. Right around the corner from my old place nogal. Quick detour, and I roll up to a scene that looked like a movie set: headlights scattered, bystanders buzzing, cars crumpled like coke cans and road completely blocked.

In the Polo, a man sits with a towel pressed firm against an open wound. Across the road, the bakkie’s front wheel is folded sideways, suspension hanging like it just gave up on life. Both cars nose-to-nose, battered, glass sparkling on the tar like confetti.

No SAPS or traffic yet — EMS first on scene, trying to bring calm. Between the flashing lights and crowd chatter, you could feel the tension. Later SAPS and traffic arrived, taking control, but one officer especially worried about the injured oke, trying to convince him: “Go to hospital, my man.” Still, the injured man refused. That’s his right — though Sunday morning would surely remind him different, once the adrenaline wore off. At least his vitals were stable and an eye kept on him while on scene.

The other occupants of Polo only needed a band-aid and reassurance, while the bakkie occupants escaped injury.

And the cause of this chaos? Not late-night jolling, not reckless spinning. Nah, something stranger: the Drakensberg decided to relocate to Empangeni.

Right there in the middle of the road, fresh from a “manhole repair,” a massive block of tar had been dumped. Not a pothole fix, not a new speed bump — a whole mountain sleeping across the lane, hidden just after a bend in a dark spot. The bakkie came round, braked too late, and boom — mountain first, Polo second.

Tow trucks cleared the wreckage, residents shook heads in frustration, and the mountain of tar sat there like the villain in a bad action movie.

---

💡 Takeaway:

Don’t be fooled by adrenaline — it numbs pain, but by sunrise, the body tells the truth. Hospital check-ups aren’t optional, they’re smart.

And remember, slowing down gives you time to dodge the surprises our roads keep serving. Sometimes it’s taxis, sometimes it’s potholes… and sometimes, it’s the Drakensberg.

Stay safe out there, mense. Roads aren’t a game — but in Empangeni, they sure feel like an obstacle course. 🛑

25/09/2025

🚨 Incident Report: Pole Dancing Showdown – CIT vs Traffic Light / Truck (R34, outside Quality Cars) 🚨

Month-end admin… you know that torture where the numbers on spreadsheet runs around like dancing ants at a party. Then boom — emergency group pings on the computer screen…

Eye catches the words: Cash-In-Transit, Quality Cars!
Sho, that’s all we need! Admin forgotten, Coffee half-drunk, team is on the way. Barely out the gate and there it is — the day’s entertainment show.

Right outside Quality Cars, the CIT van has clearly decided it’s time to show off some pole-dancing moves. Shame, the poor traffic light pole wasn’t built for those kind of moves. It’s lying flat, bent like a cheap vleis fork at a braai, lights smashed, wires hanging out like it just went ten rounds with Eskom.

The armored van? Yoh. Bonnet folder, bumper hangin like it ows money. Definitely not “quality car” standards for the dealership watching across the way road.

Quick check on the crew:
“Are you okay?” – “Ja, bru, I’m fine.”
“Are you okay?” – “Ja, also fine.”
Even the last guy wedged inside gives us a nod, just looking a bit skrik and probably wishing he’d taken a taxi instead.

So, what happened? Eish, the story’s still a bit fuzzy. From what we can gather, one truck was turning in the intersection while the CIT carried on straight. Driver reckons he put his full weight on the brakes — both feet, body, soul, the lot —but the tank said “Ag, no ways, I’m going.” Next thing, boom — the tank on the island, trying out Strictly Come Dancing with a traffic light. The other truck? Parked a bit down the road, chilled, like a tannie watching the neighbours over the garden fence.

And then… the magic words: Cash-In-Transit.
Suddenly SAPS came flying in from every direction, blue lights flickering like it’s December 31st in Durban. Fire & Rescue pitch and Traffic too. Whole squad ready for front row seats at the dance-off.

Recovery? Yoh, not child’s play. The tow truck tried, but the tank was stuck solid on that pole like a drunk oke at a jol who won’t leave the mic. Who said the jaws are only for saving lives? Today they were part-time bouncers, prying the tank off its dance partner. With some hard graft, the armoured tank beast was finally lifted free.

Meanwhile, the sparkies (electricians) cut the whole intersection for safety. Cue for instant chaos — Ho***rs going, drivers shouting at each other but nobody giving way. Pure South African traffic choreography — no rules, just vibes!
Finally, the beast was lifted, flatbed loaded with diesel leaking. The only casualty? A very broken pole and one less working traffic light.

Manager’s wipe his brow and sums it up perfectly: “Better an accident than a heist.” And bru, he’s right — bent poles beat bullets any day.

💡 Moral of the story:
On the R34, even a CIT van can’t pull off pole dancing. Poles bend, drivers skrik, traffic goes bos… but admin? That devil still waits back at the office.

22/09/2025

🚨 Monday on the N2: Welcome to Mzansi Motorsport 🚨

7th Call comes in: “Mounties, are you available on the N2 eSikhaweni accident?”
Us: “Ja, of course. What else must we do on a Monday? Sit at Wimpy?”

Team’s up, lights on, sirens screaming, ho**er pumping like a taxi at rush hour.

At N2/R34 John Ross intersection—miracle of the year: everyone actually stops at the working red robot. I nearly wanted to hand out Bar Ones. Then the fuel tanker truck in the left lane taking all the space?
Dead still. Not moving. Sirens? Nothing.
Ho**er? Nothing.
Bus next to us? Starts hooting at the truck to MOVE. Yes, mense, even the buses are tired of nonsense now.

Onto the south bound freeway, foot flat. Suddenly- a vehicle hogging fast lane, Not cruising. No, no. The ou was racing towards something - I struggled to catch up to him. A Correctional service bakkie, is pedal to the metal, no lights, not even going to the same scene! Just jousting on the N2 like it’s Kyalami. Dejavu moment... another Correctional vehicle racing and not making way for sirens.

N2 Southbound Bridge, still no accident in sight. Ambulance redirected, eventually finds the scene on the P535. And oh my word. Chaos. Cars parked like it’s a taxi rank, people running across the road like Springboks dodging tackles, others still pushing through like “Ag, it’s just another Monday bru.”

Then traffic arrives. Fresh rookies. Shiny uniforms. Big eyes. Yoh, welcome to real life, manne. No training manual for this circus. Trial by fire—whistle vs taxis. Good luck.

The accident rental vehicle? It went airborne. Properly. Took a short flight off the embankment, landed crumpled a few metres down. Driver climbs out, bloodied but walking like “ag, I’m fine.” His two mates weren’t so lucky—bystanders rushed them to the clinic ASAP. We hope, or they could've been kidnapped for wondering reasons 🤔🫣

Driver’s story? Classic. “I wasn’t the driver.” as the traffic officers stands by the ambulance. Ja, okay boet. Your driver license that was in your hand, "I can't find in my pocket - check in the car". Apparently, a taxi forced them off while overtaking. Before even the breakdowns pitched up, that taxi had already done a u-turn quicker than a politician before elections. P**f. Gone.

Breakdown crew arrives, looks at the wreck. You can almost hear the oke thinking: “Eish, this is above my payslip.”

And just when we thought we’d seen it all—another Hilux nearly followed the first car down the opposite embankment to keep balance of the scene. Why? The oke was on his phone. Nearly wrote himself off while typing “Howzit.”

---

South African Monday lessons:
✔️ If the robot works, thank your ancestors.
✔️ Buses can be your wingmen.
✔️ Correctional Services think they’re at Kyalami.
✔️ Rookie traffic cops deserve hazard pay.
✔️ Taxis? They still hold the record for fastest disappearing act.
✔️ And Mzansi drivers + cellphones = chaos.

Mounties: still the pit crew in the N2 Grand Prix. 🚑💨

04/09/2025

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29/08/2025

🚑 Today’s Lesson: When “Driver’s Ed” Turns Into “Emergency Ed” 🚑

Dispatched close to a school, not far from the hospital. First report: “pedestrian down.” Updated quickly to: “actually, patient trapped in a vehicle.” Always nice when the fine print comes through before we arrive.

At scene? One learner driver truck that didn’t just practice driving — it demonstrated, in glorious detail, what happens when you don’t. Passenger side crumpled, windshield shattered, dashboard pushed into the instructor’s lap. Because apparently the new syllabus includes “How to Become Part of the Car.”/-

The instructor — the very one meant to prevent accidents — got signed up for the premium package: Entrapment 101. Knees locked under the dash, he initially refused treatment. Because nothing says “I’m in control” like arguing with medics while your legs are welded into a truck. Eventually, pain relief and persuasion won.

The learner? Officially the proud owner of her Crash Badge. Shaken badly, but alive. She managed to stop the truck a few meters down the road — downhill, of course, because gravity always joins the party. Driving downhill has a whole new meaning now.

The Fortuner? Parked in a bay, minding its own business, when suddenly it was conscripted into this training exercise. Hit hard enough to be shoved a parking space forward. Two occupants inside: unharmed but guaranteed to never “relax in a parked car” the same way again.

Fire department? Formula 1 style. One moment fixing a flat tyre, the next moment on scene with the Jaws of Life. Door popped, dash rolled, instructor freed before anyone could blink. Honestly, faster pit stop than Ferrari.

Total count: 5 people, 3 in the learner vehicle, 2 in the Fortuner. One trapped, all survived. Two wrecked vehicles. And a learner who now understands more about collisions than most qualified drivers.

Moral of the story:
Learners are mocked for being too slow. But slow doesn’t mean safe. Even at a crawl, a learner can cause enough force to smash metal, shove cars, and trap someone under a dashboard. Today wasn’t just a driving lesson — it was a fast crash course in survival.



.

20/08/2025

So recovery position is not always advisable 🤔🤔

17/08/2025

🚨 PAYDAY FRIDAY – THE JOHN ROSS GAVE US A DOUBLE FEATURE 🚨

Friday night (15 August 2025), the R34 John Ross, Richards Bay, decided it was tired of being a road and auditioned as a bumper-car arena.

Episode 1 – The Warm-Up Act

Three vehicles tapped each other in a neat little rear-end sequence. No blood, no tears, just bruised egos and bumpers. We cleared that scene, thinking, “That’s it – early night for once.” Ha. Rookie mistake.

Episode 2 – The Encore Nobody Asked For

On the way back to base: 📞 “Come back towards Meerensee – 4 car pile up.”
Me: “No ways, we were literally just there. No injuries.”
Caller: “Ja… I was there WITH you. This is another one.”

🤦‍♂️ That’s Richards Bay for you – where car crashes breed faster than rabbits on Valentine’s Day.

We spun the ambulances around on a dime – pretty sure the tyres screamed in protest – and bulldozed our way through payday traffic. (Pro tip: nothing parts traffic faster than the Mounties with red lights and angry sirens.)

The Scene – Chaos With Commentary

Arrive to find:

A white VW Polo that had been driving contra-flow. It met another car head-on, bounced like a dodgy pinball, and parked itself across the road like it was reserving two lanes. Spun the other vehicle to the bushes like a ballerina.

Two more cars slammed into the mess because, well, physics.

One entrapment: driver unconscious, pinned tight.

One lady is giving us a play-by-play sharper than some radio DJs:
👉 “This one’s trapped. That one’s only minor. Those two over there just need a check. The child’s fine.”
Honestly, she almost stole my job.

The Show Begins...

Fire & Rescue rolls up, jaws of life start howling, sparks flying – better than a rock concert. Breakdown guys shift cars like they’re rearranging Lego. Meanwhile, traffic slows to a crawl because apparently, nothing says family outings like filming strangers trapped in wrecks.

Our ALS paramedic dives in – tubes, drips, oxygen, the works – while the rest of the crew hustle. After sweat, metal, and a few muttered swear words, the driver is freed and whisked away in serious condition. Another patient with minor injuries is also transported.

The other three? Including the child? Declined hospital. (Probably figured “payday hospital bills” are scarier than a crash.)

The Aftermath?

Both lanes blocked, glass everywhere, bumpers strewn like confetti. SAPS and traffic did their thing, writing notes while we tried to piece the road back together.

💡 The Moral:
On payday Friday, you can lose your cash, your dignity, and your car – sometimes all at once. And if you’re really unlucky, you also get to meet the jaws of life.

Drive safe, folks. The John Ross has had enough drama for one weekend.

11/08/2025

🚑💥 Ambulance Accident – N2 Eteza

On Saturday, an ambulance transporting a patient from Hlabisa to Ngwelezane was involved in a collision with a speeding sedan on the N2 near Eteza. Thankfully, no fatalities occurred, and both patient and crew escaped without life-threatening injuries.

The KZN Department of Health issued a statement in Zulu — then Google Translate stepped in… and let’s just say, the translation took a scenic detour through “vomiting cars,” “sleeping ambulances,” and “eyes of the eagle.” 🦅🚗💤

While the MEC’s message about road safety is crystal clear and important, we can all agree Google’s version gave it… extra flavour.

We’re just grateful everyone is safe — and that the only thing rolling on its side now is the translation. 😉

See Post translated to English.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1F6UyAXbJi/

08/08/2025