Kerry Lynch Counselling Therapy

05/09/2023

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.
Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.
Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light ..

~ Brene Brown ~

Artist Credit : Catrin Welz Stein

15/06/2023

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT ❤️

my brain and
heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have become

eventually,
they couldn't be
in the same room
with each other

now my head and heart
share custody of me

I stay with my brain
during the week

and my heart
gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

- instead, they give me
the same note to pass
to each other every week

and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:

"This is all your fault"

on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the past

and on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the future

they blame each
other for the
state of my life

there's been a lot
of yelling - and crying

so,

lately, I've been
spending a lot of
time with my gut

who serves as my
unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut's plush leather chair
that's always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes up

last evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my head

I nodded

I said I didn't know
if I could live with
either of them anymore

"my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,"
I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

"I just can't live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,"
I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

"in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,"

I was confused
- the look on my face gave it away

"if you are exhausted about
your heart's obsession with
the fixed past and your mind's focus
on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there either

there is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath
you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out."

this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leaves

and while my
heart was staring
at old photographs

I packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungs

before I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said

"what took you so long?"

~ John Roedel (johnroedel.com)

John Roedel is a comic who unexpectedly gained notability as a writer and poet through his heartfelt Facebook conversations that went viral and became an Amazon best-selling book titled, "Hey God. Hey John." The author of five books, John offers a sincere and relatable look at his faith crisis, ment...

06/06/2023

24/01/2023

Life happens and we get triggered.

Post credit .alchemy

The idea that being regulated and healed means we don’t experience being triggered or any negative emotions isn’t true, nor is it helpful.

It’s simply not reality - stress, rupture and repair are a cycle and part of life.

We often glorify the state of calm and zen in our society.

But our stress response is an important and essential survival feature function of our bodies.

And calm is just a natural byproduct of a regulated nervous system.

True regulation means we can see and feel the beauty in pain and rupture and move through them without drowning.

It means gaining flexibility to move within the window of tolerance and to find our way back in when we have briefly left it.

When we’re triggered or going through a stressful experience, our breath can help us increase our felt sense of safety in the body so that we can ride the wave back to a ventral vagal state of connection.

Big love,
Conni.

25/12/2022

Thinking of you all on this beautiful Christmas Day . Sending love and joy
Wanted to share this poignant work by Maya Angelou with you. ❤🙏🔥

Amazing Peace: A Christmas Poem

Thunder rumbles in the mountain passes
And lightning rattles the eaves of our houses.
Flood waters await us in our avenues.

Snow falls upon snow, falls upon snow to avalanche
Over unprotected villages.
The sky slips low and grey and threatening.

We question ourselves.
What have we done to so affront nature?
We worry God.
Are you there? Are you there really?
Does the covenant you made with us still hold?

Into this climate of fear and apprehension, Christmas enters,
Streaming lights of joy, ringing bells of hope
And singing carols of forgiveness high up in the bright air.
The world is encouraged to come away from rancor,
Come the way of friendship.

It is the Glad Season.
Thunder ebbs to silence and lightning sleeps quietly in the corner.
Flood waters recede into memory.
Snow becomes a yielding cushion to aid us
As we make our way to higher ground.

Hope is born again in the faces of children
It rides on the shoulders of our aged as they walk into their sunsets.
Hope spreads around the earth. Brightening all things,
Even hate which crouches breeding in dark corridors.

In our joy, we think we hear a whisper.
At first it is too soft. Then only half heard.
We listen carefully as it gathers strength.
We hear a sweetness.
The word is Peace.
It is loud now. It is louder.
Louder than the explosion of bombs.

We tremble at the sound. We are thrilled by its presence.
It is what we have hungered for.
Not just the absence of war. But, true Peace.
A harmony of spirit, a comfort of courtesies.
Security for our beloveds and their beloveds.

We clap hands and welcome the Peace of Christmas.
We beckon this good season to wait a while with us.
We, Baptist and Buddhist, Methodist and Muslim, say come.
Peace.
Come and fill us and our world with your majesty.
We, the Jew and the Jainist, the Catholic and the Confucian,
Implore you, to stay a while with us.
So we may learn by your shimmering light
How to look beyond complexion and see community.

It is Christmas time, a halting of hate time.

On this platform of peace, we can create a language
To translate ourselves to ourselves and to each other.

At this Holy Instant, we celebrate the Birth of Jesus Christ
Into the great religions of the world.
We jubilate the precious advent of trust.
We shout with glorious tongues at the coming of hope.
All the earth's tribes loosen their voices
To celebrate the promise of Peace.

We, Angels and Mortal's, Believers and Non-Believers,
Look heavenward and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at our world and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at each other, then into ourselves
And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation.

Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.

12/12/2022

09/12/2022

02/12/2022

29/11/2022

Something I found myself saying a lot to my clients and myself. Treat yourself kindly and show yourself compassion especially in those moments we not too proud of.

A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…

No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…

We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…

And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to “catch up” in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…

Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…

We can’t.

And attempts to re-create some semblance of “normal” on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…

So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in- Pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.

Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).

Understanding brings compassion…

Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible “Handle with care” posters around their necks and “Fragile” tattoos on their bodies…

Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently. Go slowly.

Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness.

With love
Naomi ♥️

11/11/2022

Brutal honesty is highly overrated.⁣
* At best, brutal honesty reflects a boundary violation: the belief that I can say what I want when I want and how I want (“I’m just expressing myself!”).⁣
* At worst, brutal honesty is cruelty masquerading as a favor (“I’m just saying this to help you!”).⁣
Brutal honesty is entitled, not relational.⁣
⁣
Why is brutal honesty not relational?⁣
⁣
Because even though some of us have learned how to mask our tender feelings, all of us have tender feelings. ⁣
⁣
Because even though some of say have learned how to say that suffering makes us stronger, all of us are highly sensitive to criticism.⁣
⁣
Relationships benefit from feedback, for sure. When you share your observations about me with me, I can use your observations as fuel:⁣
* to help me grow⁣
* to help me thrive⁣
* to help me love you in the way you want and need to be loved.⁣
⁣
And, sharing observations about me with me requires skill. You must package what you say in such a way that I can hear. This is not coddling. It’s kindness and effectiveness. ⁣
⁣
Sharing feedback is not a free-for-all. ⁣
⁣
If your observation-sharing is primarily guided by your devotion to brutal honesty, I am going to armor up. Rather than being in a place of learning and curiosity, I am going to be in a place of protection and defense.⁣
⁣
Brutal honesty has no place in relationships because our minds are wild. Our imaginations are limitless and untempered and unruly. ⁣
⁣
We need this thing called a filter. Or what Freud called a superego. We need a mental gatekeeper. That part of our brain (prefrontal cortex) that helps us think before we speak:⁣
* Is what I’m about to say kind?⁣
* Is what I’m about to say helpful?⁣
* Is what I’m about to say being fueled by a part of me that is invested in activating insecurity inside of my partner? If so, why?⁣
If some crazy ass thought runs through your head, and you don’t tell your partner, you’re not being withholding or dishonest. You’re being merciful and mature. ⁣
⁣
Valuing truth in a relationship is not about saying whatever you want. How you speak your truth matters.⁣
⁣
Strong relationships rest on speaking truth with integrity and discernment.⁣

03/11/2022

This!!