Miranda Pretorius Clinical Psychologist

18/03/2023

can you help me? My profile has been hacked

18/03/2023

My fb has been hacked. If you see something untoward, please ignore.

06/02/2023

Be aware of others around you. Be a caring friend

Don't forget to check-in on others - you never know what someone may be going through 💙

06/02/2023

I salute the parents!

💛💛💛

24/01/2023

True.

via We Teach, Let's Talk

05/01/2023

6 again!

05/01/2023

When you persist in speaking your truth, you find that your family members do everything they can to discredit you.

They may even go so far as to humiliate you in front of others. That's because they are unable to accept the fact that anything you say might be true.

02/01/2023

02/01/2023

💙

02/01/2023

01/01/2023

Poignant

I sat awake in my bed all night last night. His less than small hand placed gently on my arm to keep me close for his comfort.

Midnight I heard his footsteps. “Hi” he said as he gestured me to scoot over and make room in my bed.

He snuggled in, covered himself up, and placed his hand on my arm. I’m his comfort item, safety blanket, he needs me.

Here I sat, watching him sleep. Two, three, four am slowly ticked by.

I didn’t dare move, for fear of waking him. Although I needed to.

I needed to move to get cold medicine, hot tea, a cool mist humidifier, but no…… here I sat.

Terrified of waking him, which wakes up the rest of the house, which meant I was no longer sitting, I was chasing him for the rest of the night.

This is motherhood with autism. I thought. The perfect example, right here.

Sacrifices because you don’t dare wake them.

He knocked my tissues off the nightstand around three while he was tossing and turning to get comfortable again. Immediately, his sweet hand found my arm for comfort.

This is life with autism. Taking care of him first because you know if you wake him you can’t take care of both of you right now.

So you wait.

Wait for help to come. Or for him to finally stir awake in the next hour or so.

As I sat here watching the hours very slowly pass by I realized this is how much of our life will look.

As we get older, his care will still be my responsibility. I’m ok with that, but something about the long quiet hours of the middle of the night reminds you of the reality.

When I’m sick, I’ll care for him. When he’s sick, I’ll care for him. He doesn’t understand “days off” or “resting to get better”.

Taking care of him first, even if I needed something myself. Waiting. Making peace with what I have in the moment.

We do it because we must, because what other choice do we have? They need us, all of our children do. But our children with additional needs, like autism? They need us forever, every single day and night for the rest of their lives.

So right now over my own needs, he needs me, I know that, and just in case I forgot his perfectly placed hand is a gentle reminder that I am his.

31/12/2022

To all the people out there: it is ok to dream. Dreams leed to hope and where hope exists, there is something positive to hold onto. May your dreams lead to hope and fulfillment in 2023.

20/12/2022

Dear Izzy,

I am not Mama anymore. That thought hit me with force last night as I sat at the kitchen table. It had never occurred to me before that moment that I exist as many things, to many people.

But I was only Mama to you. That part of grief is hard to explain. How your identity completely changes overnight. For thirteen years, I was Mama, and then one day I just wasn’t.

We can go round and round about the semantics of it all. About who I have always been and who I will always be, but the truth of it is quite simple. Not a single person in this world looks at me and thinks...Mama.😔

You started calling me that when you were very young. You naturally switched to ‘Mom’ as you got older. But you still called me Mama when you were afraid or in pain or incredibly medicated, which meant you still called me Mama all the time.

I can still hear the way you said the word. If I close my eyes and still my mind and listen very deeply to what’s inside, I hear it. The word washes over me with comfort and with love. It makes me remember who I was. Makes me remember who we were.

I lie in bed last night thinking about it more deeply. About my role as Mama instead of Mom, I realized it was quite complicated. My identity as Mama only carried on so long because you were sick. If you hadn’t had cancer, you would have stopped calling me that long ago. I know this. Because you demonstrated this. By only calling me Mama when you were afraid or in pain or incredibly medicated.

And so, it seems a great paradox exists. For I am so incredibly grateful that I was Mama. But I am so incredibly grateful that I am not Mama anymore. Because that change in my identity means that you are no longer sick. You are no longer afraid or in pain or incredibly medicated.

Though my heart aches, I am quite consumed by a paradox of gratitude. For who I used to be. And who I will never be again....🕊🤍

I love you. Every day, forever.

Mama ###

20/12/2022

20/12/2022

A study by researchers at the University of Southern California shows that exposure to music and music instruction accelerates the brain development of young children.

20/12/2022

Young children whose parents read them five books a day enter kindergarten having heard about 1.4 million more words than kids who were never read to, a new study found. This “million word gap” could be one key in explaining differences in vocabulary and reading development, said Jessica Logan, ...