Naomi Holdt - Psychologist and Speaker

Naomi Holdt - Psychologist and Speaker Passionate Parenting Consultant | Dynamic Motivational Speaker | Educational Psychologist | Mom The Site and its Content are provided on an "as is" basis.

ABOUT NAOMI
Naomi is a psychologist, author and speaker with over 20 years experience in education, educational psychology and psychotherapy with a special interest in the emotional well - being of children and young adults. With an initial teaching background she has insightful knowledge on the role of both parents and teachers in supporting, nurturing and helping young people reach their potential. Naomi qualified cm laude with an MA in Educational Psychology from University of KwaZulu-Natal and is in private practice in Hilton, South Africa. She has spoken countrywide and her online parenting courses have now reached an international following. Naomi is a mother of two young children and regards this as a privilege and her most important role. DISCLAIMER
All content found on the Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker Website and social media channels, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your psychologist or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this Website or Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker’s social media channels. If you think you may have a mental health emergency, call your psychologist or doctor, go to the emergency department, or call emergency response immediately. Reliance on any information provided by Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker, Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker’s employees, contracted writers, or professionals presenting content for publication to Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker’s channels is solely at your own risk. Links to content not created by Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker are taken at your own risk. Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker is not responsible for the claims of external websites and organisations. Please note that due to an overwhelming demand for assistance, I am unable to respond to requests and messages on this platform. If you would like to book a consult, please email info@naomiholdt.com or WhatsApp: +27 74 131 0260.

To say that 2025 has been a year of upside downs, flips, uncertainties, chaos, more flips… And more upside downs that ju...
22/11/2025

To say that 2025 has been a year of upside downs, flips, uncertainties, chaos, more flips… And more upside downs that just keep rolling in – would be the understatement of the century.

Despite spending my last week of work in a place of idyllic, soul-filling beauty, the unexpected flips have continued to roll in (and let’s just say, there’s a whole new level of ‘What The Actual Canary?!’ happening behind the scenes- story for another day.)

But here’s the truth I’ve learned in the unraveling of this journey:

Nothing surprises me anymore.

Whatever the news is, in whatever area of life it’s coming from, one thing has become clear – it’s not always easy to see the fairness in what life chooses to hand us. Things very often dont go the way we sooooo wish they would. Sometimes the universe knows things we don’t, even when we really, REALLY wish it would see our side and cooperate. Just. For. Once.

Yesterday I was chatting to a fabulous, caring human, who used to be a client of mine, asking her for practical assistance with one of life’s current flips. She reminded me, “Naomi, years ago you told me that sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can climb back up again.”

And there it was – the truth, plain and simple.

That’s where my upcoming book ‘What The Actual Canary?!’ comes in.

It’s not another self-help manual – the world has plenty of those.

It’s a “how-to-human” guide for when life keeps throwing tsunamis of unexpected feathers your way.

It’s real. It’s raw. Its me. It’s you.
It’s for everyone who’s ever faced their own ‘What The Actual Canary?!’ moment.

And honesty- I can’t wait to share it with you.

✨Pre-orders open next week!✨

I’m heading back into a reality of literal upside downs (that other story for that other day), but here’s the reframe that hit me this morning- one worth remembering in the chaos, and the mess of it all:

When nothing is certain,
Anything is possible.

No matter where you are, or what your “canary” moment looks like right now - hold onto that.

If the canaries fly, let them.
Keep walking anyway.

(And if all else fails, do a handstand- seeing life upside down on the beach is surprisingly good for perspective 😉)

With love and possibilities,
Naomi ❤️

Something has been unfolding quietly behind the scenes…Not a project.Not a plan.A book.A human guide for the moments whe...
21/11/2025

Something has been unfolding quietly behind the scenes…

Not a project.
Not a plan.
A book.

A human guide for the moments when life drops you into the woods without a map…
for the seasons of shock, fear, fog, unraveling, and the slow, unexpected becoming that follows.

I’ve been writing the words I wish someone had handed me when my own life cracked open - when the forests were dark, the ground felt unstable, and nothing made sense anymore.

This book will take you into the parts you’ve avoided.
The parts you’ve outgrown.
The parts that were never failure - just protection.

It will pull forward truths your nervous system has been whispering for years.
And once you see them, you can’t go back to sleep.

Some pages may feel uncomfortable.
Growth often does.

Some chapters will make you laugh at moments you didn’t expect to…
and cry in places you thought you were “fine.”
Humour and heartbreak like to walk together when life gets real.

And by the time you reach the final page, you won’t be the same person who started it.

You’ll understand your brain differently.
You’ll honour your emotions differently.
You’ll soften where you’ve been hard and strengthen where you’ve been scared.
You’ll breathe differently.
Walk differently.
See yourself differently.

And maybe - finally - realise you were never lost.
You were just walking through a forest you didn’t yet have language for.

WHAT THE ACTUAL CANARY?! is coming.
And when it lands… so will you.

Pre-orders open next week.
And yes… I feel feathers. 😏

Share this with your friends and those you love - they going to want in.

Love,
Naomi ❤️

Hearing the words “It’s cancer” is one of the fastest ways to be reminded of your mortality…The past few days, in betwee...
20/11/2025

Hearing the words “It’s cancer” is one of the fastest ways to be reminded of your mortality…

The past few days, in between work (and something SUPER exciting that I am creating- actually something I am writing 💪🏽- watch this space CLOSELY in the next few days!) I’ve been doing something that fills my soul and every cell of my body to ABSOLUTE capacity: Ocean Swimming…

The past few mornings, the visibility hasn’t been the greatest- which means you really have no idea what, or how many, large marine creatures might be swimming around you. Especially the kind that like to do a little more than nibble at fast-moving surface objects.

Right- put that thought out of my mind and keep stroking through the water.

Where I enter and exit the water, it’s a nursery for young rays… INCREDIBLE. But let me tell you- while their bodies may be small, those tails are ADULT SIZE. This morning I nearly swam right into one, and for a brief second, my overthinking brain did imagine how it might feel to be skewered by said tail.

Right then- retake. Appreciate the beauty. And definitely pay more attention. Keep swimming!

But here’s what I keep thinking about, on every single swim- apart from reminding myself that the odds of either becoming ocean lunch or a human kebab are, thankfully, pretty slim:

If I did get taken out by either of these creatures, it would be while doing something I LOVE. Something that fills my soul. That gives me air. That makes me feel ALIVE…

And that thought always takes me further… To how many people are moving through this world merely surviving…

Stuck in jobs, relationships, and routines that don’t fill their souls.
That don’t ignite their cells.
That don’t make them feel ALIVE.

Back to that unavoidable truth that life-altering events hurl in our faces:

We’re all going to die.
When our ticket is up, it’s up.
No do overs. No dress rehearsals.
THIS.IS.IT.

We don’t get to choose when we die. But, whenever and however that moment comes, the real question is: HAVE WE LIVED?

Has what we have done with this one precious life brought meaning?
Purpose? Unadulterated joy?

Are we surrounded by people and places that fill our souls, that give us oxygen, that enable us to truly LIVE- so that when we do go, we go with our hearts full…?

We only die once…
But we choose whether we truly live- Every.Single.Day.

With love and still swimming,
Naomi ❤️

19/11/2025

If you’re separated or divorced - and you truly have your child’s best interests at heart - then the most important step you can take is this:

Begin your own healing.

Not because the past didn’t hurt.
Not because “you should just let it go.”

But because the anger, bitterness, and unresolved pain keep you tied to the very person you’re trying to detach from - and your child feels the impact of that more deeply than you think.

Children are not pawns.

They are not leverage.
They’re not bargaining chips in adult battles.
Yet too often, even unintentionally, that’s exactly where they end up - stuck in the emotional crossfire.

Here’s what I can tell you after working with children, teens, and parents for more than two decades:

🌿 When parents regulate themselves… their children heal faster.
🌿 When parents stop fighting… their children breathe again.
🌿 When parents prioritise connection over control… their children thrive.

Co-parenting isn’t always easy.
Some situations are far more complex, and some require significant boundaries — or no contact at all.

But when co-parenting can be safe, respectful, and child-centred, I have seen some of the happiest, most resilient children emerge from separation and divorce.

The opposite is also true.

When children are used to punish, provoke, or “win,” the damage runs deep.
No one wins.
And the child carries wounds that were never theirs to hold.

This isn’t about pretending the other parent is perfect.

It’s not about minimising harm or bypassing reality.
It’s about asking yourself:

“What does my child need from me to feel safe?”
“Where do I need to heal so I don’t hand my child my unresolved pain?”

Because the relationship your child has with you will be shaped by the way you show up - not by what the other parent does or doesn’t do.

Do the most powerful thing you can for your child:
Heal yourself first.
Your peace creates their safety.

🌀 I write about this deeply in BOUNCE, including an entire chapter on separation, co-parenting, and the emotional safety of children.

Available now on my online store - and get 10% off at checkout!

Link in comments to grab a copy.

With love,
Naomi ❤️

LEARNING TO BEReal human honesty here: After a lifetime of chasing, striving, DOing- This season is teaching me one of t...
17/11/2025

LEARNING TO BE

Real human honesty here:
After a lifetime of chasing, striving, DOing-
This season is teaching me one of the hardest, most humbling lessons of all:
That power, healing and becoming don’t come from doing more…
They come from BEing…

Exactly where I am…

From sitting.
From allowing.
From learning to simply exist without the next thing to fix… achieve… rush towards…

It’s learning to hush the voice that whispers,
“Keep moving, it’s dangerous to be still…”
And gently replying,
“It’s safe now. You can rest…”

So I sit.
I breathe.
I listen.

To the rise and fall of my chest.
To the quiet language of my body.
To the world that keeps humming softly even when I stop…

I notice.
The texture of the bark of trees…
The colour of the sky I used to rush past…
The tiny, exquisite details that were always there-
Just waiting for me to slow down enough to see them…

Because this- this slowing, this being-
It isn’t weakness.

It’s wisdom.
It’s where healing happens.

And its exactly where I finally…

Meet myself.

With love and BEing,
Naomi ❤️

Here’s something I wish more parents understood:Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect.They need you regulated, prese...
14/11/2025

Here’s something I wish more parents understood:
Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect.
They need you regulated, present, and human.

And that starts with how you treat yourself.

We speak so much about our children’s resilience, but the truth is this:

🙅🏼‍♀️ You cannot raise what you do not model.

Your emotional state sets the tone for your home, your connection, and your child’s sense of safety.

So let’s strip away some of the unnecessary guilt that weighs so heavily on so many of us.

Here are 5 things your child needs you to stop feeling guilty about (today):

💫 Taking 10 minutes for yourself.
And no - it’s not selfish.
Crying in the bath, sitting in the garden, reading one chapter of a book, taking five deep breaths…
These are not luxuries. Their nervous system resets - and your child benefits directly when you do them.

💫 Not being available every second.
Parents are not on-call 24/7.
Being constantly available doesn’t make you more loving - it makes you more depleted.
Your child needs the best of you, not the burnt-out scraps.

💫 Saying “I need a moment.”
Pausing is strength.
A moment to breathe is often the difference between reacting and responding…
Between disconnection and connection.

💫 Not entertaining every behaviour instantly.
You’re allowed to pause before you address something.
You’re allowed to choose your response.
You’re allowed to ask yourself: “Is this behaviour… or is this dysregulation?”

Often it’s the latter. 😉

💫 Putting your phone down for 5 minutes of real presence - and letting that be enough.
Resilience isn’t built in hours of perfect parenting.
It’s built in tiny, consistent pockets of connection:
A hug.
A shared laugh.
A curious question.
A gentle tone.

One degree at a time.

👇

Here’s the truth:
Your child doesn’t need a flawless parent.
They need a grounded one.
And that starts with how you take care of you.

If this landed, I explore this in depth in BOUNCE: How to Raise Resilient Kids & Teens - the ultimate parenting handbook for real families, parents-to-be, and even adults who are learning to strengthen their own resilience.

Get 10% off on my online store (SA delivery only) at the link below:
https://tinyurl.com/naomi-holdt-shop

Love,
Naomi ❤️

Eyes Wide Open…It’s what happens. If three words could capture the change within me this season, it would be those. The ...
12/11/2025

Eyes Wide Open…

It’s what happens.

If three words could capture the change within me this season, it would be those.

The scales fall.
The clarity comes.
A depth arrives that you can’t unknow.

You begin to notice things –
The breathtaking, the tender, the pure…

But also, the sharp edges, the whispers, the quiet cruelty that hides in plain sight.

When your eyes open wide,
You start tuning in differently–
To truth, to realness, to the pulse of what’s actually authentic.
You crave honesty, connection and meaning in every exchange...

But in that sensitivity, you also feel the contaminations of the world more acutely-
The judgement, the assumptions, the stories told by those who’ve never walked a moment in your skin.

And here’s what I know now more than ever-
Truth I hold close with these eyes wide open:

We never know how many tears it has taken
For someone to make decisions that alter their life.

We never see the sleepless nights,
And the heartbreak behind choices that others don’t understand.

Every act of judgement is simply a reflection of our own unhealed ache- a mirror of insecurity, fear, or smallness within…

So instead of judging-
May we choose to respond gently.
May we meet one another with compassion,
May we embrace without shaming-

Because honestly,
We can never comprehend the road another has traveled…

You see, the more awake I become,
The more I see that all human behaviours– even the messy, confusing ones-
Are rooted in one simple truth:
We are all just trying to survive this life
With our heart still intact.

Eyes wide open…
The world is exquisitely, beautiful,
And painfully human.

Recognize the pain.
Respond with love.
And keep your eyes wide open-

Not to judge.
But to see…

With love and open eyes,
Naomi ❤️

10/11/2025

The things we learn in these seasons of life… And this one- this one has been a big one for me...

As a decades long chronic fawner, people-pleaser, make-everyone-happy-er, and do-everything-to-avoid-conflicter, this lesson hasn’t come easily.

But…

As life has a way of doing- it threw me one of those “relook-at-every-minuscule-layer-and-reevaluate everything” moments… (actually- years)… and I have come out seeing myself, others, and the world in completely new ways…

Here’s what I’ve learned (and what I’m teaching my kids too):

👉🏼 YOUR HAPPINESS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY

That may seem obvious BUT…

We so often hand that responsibility over to others –
If they show up in this way…
If they say this thing…
If they make that choice…
Then I’ll be happy.

But that’s not how happiness works.

When we do that, we self-sabotage.

Because real, deep, lasting happiness can never depend on someone else’s moods, actions or behaviour.
It can only ever come from within.

And here’s the flip side:

When we make someone else responsible for our happiness, we place a heavy weight on them- one they were never meant to carry. It contaminates relationships and leaves everyone depleted.

So this is your reminder today:

✨ Don’t place the responsibility for your happiness in anyone else’s hands.
✨ Find it.
✨ Grab hold of it.
✨ Live it!

Because it’s waiting for you- right there, within.

With so much love and constant learning,
Naomi ❤️

PS. So many of you have asked if you can access the recording of my Safe Again: Trauma Healing Through the Generations workshop- and YES, you can now grab it! If you’re a fawner, flighter, fighter , freezer (or just someone wanting to understand yourself and others more deeply), this one’s for you.

✨ Grab it here: https://naomiholdt.thrivecart.com/safe-again/

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while…Maybe the words will bring someone a little more compassion for themsel...
08/11/2025

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while…

Maybe the words will bring someone a little more compassion for themselves- or help medical practitioners and well-meaning others understand things “from the other side”…

When I started this cancer journey, after the treatment plan was laid out, so many professionals and kind-hearted people reassured me, “This will be an easy journey- a walk in the park”. I think that’s often the assumption when the treatment is radiation without chemo.

But after I shared about my “all fall down” in the radiation room one morning, I had so many messages from people saying they had had their biggest breakdowns there too.
Many who had been through both chemo and radiation shared that they found radiation harder.

And honesty- I can’t compare, because even though I have walked the chemo road with two of my heart-people, I didn’t have it myself- and that’s not what this post is about.

What I DO know is that when I think back on this journey, the radiation memories still bring tears to the surface- almost instantly- despite having the most angelic nurses and receiving the most gentle care from all the staff.

So I started wondering…

And here’s what I know- from both experience and neuroscience:

While chemo wreaks havoc on the body (and emotions), radiation can shake the nervous system to its core.

As humans (actually as mammals) we are wired for safety in togetherness. When we are going through something hard but we’re surrounded by others, it’s easier to find strength and feel hope.

In most chemo rooms I’ve visited, patients are in recliners, often chatting or distracting themselves.
There’s connection.
There’s shared humanity.

Radiation rooms are the opposite: cold, sterile. You’re awkwardly positioned. For breast cancer- half naked. Exposed. Completely still. All alone. Eyes on you from behind a screen. Vulnerable in every way…

Even if your conscious mind knows, “This is healing me,” your brain and body are reading the situation as danger: alone + vulnerable+ unable to move= threat.
No matter how much love is waiting outside those doors, you’re in there by yourself. And your nervous system knows it.

And when your nervous system feels endangered, it overrides the rational voice that whispers, “This is for my healing.”

Here’s why this matters:

The LAST thing you need on a trauma healing journey is guilt or shame for feeling overwhelmed – especially when you were told it should have been “a walk in the park.”

You can be deeply grateful that you didn’t need chemo AND still fall apart from what your journey DID include. There’s no guilt in that. Only compassion.

Because even neuroscience supports just how traumatic those daily moments of aloneness and exposure can be- a physical reminder of the beast inside you.

So whatever your journey has been,
Whatever your trauma has been,
Cancer or otherwise,
Remember this:

It is not comparable to anyone else’s.

Pour compassion onto every part of you.
Honour exactly how YOU feel.
Your story is real.
Your story is worthy.
And YOUR story… It deserves to be spoken.

With so, SO much love,
Naomi ❤️

And now I know…With soul- conviction: This…THIS is the hardest part…When the foundations of life we once knew have shift...
06/11/2025

And now I know…

With soul- conviction:

This…
THIS is the hardest part…

When the foundations of life we once knew have shifted,
When the pillars that held us steady have crumbled beneath us,
Our eyes open fully to a world we never truly saw before.

And the becoming begins…

The evolution that must first fragment us to ash
Before anything new can rise.

And the truth is:

We cannot unknow.
We cannot unsee.
We cannot unbecome.

It’s the waiting…
That impossible, in-between space-
Where one life has ended
Yet the next has not yet begun.

Where we’re gathering new pieces of ourselves
While still mourning the ones we no longer recognize.

And honestly-
It feels like the hardest place to stand…

The uncertainty.
The unraveling.
The barren internal landscapes
Where everything familiar has fallen away.

But here’s what I’m learning -

In this arid territory of so much that simply doesn’t fit…

We are not broken.
We are not lost.
We are simply… in transit.

On our way to becoming the version of us we have not yet met...

Somewhere in this gentle undoing,
We realize our edges don’t need to be hard anymore.

We can lay our swords down.
We can soften.
We can rest.

Because strength was never in the armour.
Power was never in the fight .
Protection was never in the walls we built so high
We forgot who we were beneath them.

The greatest power we have ever held
Has always been love.

This- this hardest part…
The season of shattering…

Is also
A season of softening.
Of unclenching.
Of remembering.

A season where we learn to grow patient with the process.
To trust the dark,
To walk through it- not fearing it,
But listening to it.

A season where we stop judging the unraveling,
And start naming it for what it is:
A sacred essential.

And the surreal expanse…
It is not a death-place.
It is a womb-space.

A place of evolving.
Of growing.
Of emerging.

Lay your armour down-
Your strength is within…
Trust the hard, holy process.
And soften into all the beautiful truths life is revealing to you.

With love, learning, and softening,
Naomi ❤️

Address

Hilton
3245

Opening Hours

Monday 08:00 - 17:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 16:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 16:00
Thursday 09:00 - 16:00
Friday 09:00 - 16:00

Telephone

073 585 4672

Website

https://naomi-holdt.shopstar.co.za/

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