Naomi Holdt - Psychologist and Speaker

Naomi Holdt - Psychologist and Speaker Psychologist | Speaker | Author | Personal & Professional Growth Mentor
Upcoming book: What the Actual Canary?! launching soon. Get on the waitlist 👇

ABOUT NAOMI
Naomi is a psychologist, author and speaker with over 20 years experience in education, educational psychology and psychotherapy with a special interest in the emotional well - being of children and young adults. With an initial teaching background she has insightful knowledge on the role of both parents and teachers in supporting, nurturing and helping young people reach their potential. Naomi qualified cm laude with an MA in Educational Psychology from University of KwaZulu-Natal and is in private practice in Hilton, South Africa. She has spoken countrywide and her online parenting courses have now reached an international following. Naomi is a mother of two young children and regards this as a privilege and her most important role. DISCLAIMER
All content found on the Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker Website and social media channels, including text, images, audio, or other formats were created for informational purposes only. The Site and its Content are provided on an "as is" basis. The Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your psychologist or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this Website or Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker’s social media channels. If you think you may have a mental health emergency, call your psychologist or doctor, go to the emergency department, or call emergency response immediately. Reliance on any information provided by Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker, Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker’s employees, contracted writers, or professionals presenting content for publication to Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker’s channels is solely at your own risk. Links to content not created by Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker are taken at your own risk. Naomi Holdt Psychologist and Speaker is not responsible for the claims of external websites and organisations. Please note that due to an overwhelming demand for assistance, I am unable to respond to requests and messages on this platform. If you would like to book a consult, please email info@naomiholdt.com or WhatsApp: +27 74 131 0260.

25/02/2026

I realised I say the word powerful a lot in this video - probably because these cards have quietly worked magic for over 13 years.

Thirty-two cards. Countless conversations.

When you give words to feelings, healing can begin.

👇

The EQ Cards are 10% off right now - until 8 March, 11pm (SA only).

Tap the link below to order yours:
https://naomi-holdt.shopstar.co.za/products

🌊✨

A couple of weeks ago, my big sister and I had a fallout. The thing is - we’ve never, ever had one before.It was complet...
22/02/2026

A couple of weeks ago, my big sister and I had a fallout.

The thing is - we’ve never, ever had one before.
It was completely foreign territory.

You see, we grew up in a home where conflict was not tolerated.
It was punished.
It was quietened.
It was never resolved with compassion.

And when you never learn that conflict isn’t something to fear - that it is, in fact, a normal and healthy part of any human relationship - when it does arise, you tend to avoid it at all costs.

You run as if a plague is about to descend.
You suppress whatever came up in the space.
You dodge the discomfort.

Because underneath that avoidance sits something far older and deeper-
the fear of being taken out,
of being rejected,
of being emotionally exiled.

But here’s the truth I’ve been sitting with:

A healthy relationship is not one without disagreement, conflict, or discomfort.

It’s one in which two people feel psychologically safe enough to share their truth-
knowing the other can process it, integrate it, and hold it with them.

Not a space where emotions are minimised, suppressed, or criticized-
or where one person is left carrying everything on their own.

And for healthy conflict to occur - with resolution and repair -
there need to be two psychologically and emotionally mature people involved.

Where that isn’t the case - when one person struggles to regulate, reflect, or take responsibility -
a different dynamic emerges.

In relationships where one person is emotionally or psychologically immature, something called projective identification often occurs.
Emotions that feel too overwhelming, unsafe, or unmanageable are pushed onto the other person to carry instead…
and the pusher ‘leaves the building.’

On return, they wonder what the heck is wrong with you for feeling anger, frustration, or annoyance -
or whatever canary happens to be chirping -
when all you’ve actually done is carry emotions that were never safe enough for them to hold themselves.

All that ever leads to is one person walking away coated in guilt and shame,
carrying emotional labour that was never theirs to do in the first place.

Rupture without repair
always leaves one person emotionally bleeding.

You can’t sweep that mess under a carpet and hope it disappears.
Someone’s nervous system will always have to hold it if the emotions aren’t processed where they belong.

After a few days of individual tortoising, my sister and I reconnected.
We shared our truths and acknowledged each other’s.
We virtually hugged.
We repaired with bold-lettered “I’m sorrys.”

And thank goodness - because as the one person who has always been in my corner since my mom died, she is one of the few human beings in this world I simply could not be without.

But two things I know for sure:

We broke a cycle.
One where truth was never safe.
One where the unsaids stayed unsaid.
And one where one person quietly kept bleeding.

And we were reminded of something essential:

A healthy relationship is one where psychological safety is strong enough
that no part of you has to stay hidden.
Where you can share your emotions, your truth, and your heart - fully and honestly.

And in that sharing, the relationship doesn’t fracture.
It deepens.

And one more thing - maybe the most important of all-

We were never meant to live inside relationships that require us to shrink, silence ourselves,
or leave parts of our truth behind.

No relationship is worth the cost of caging your canary.

With love, and an incredible big sister,
Naomi ❤️

Today I played. I trampolined.I bird-watched.I jumped into a cold pool after a warm whirlpool bath.I laughed. I danced w...
19/02/2026

Today I played.

I trampolined.
I bird-watched.
I jumped into a cold pool after a warm whirlpool bath.
I laughed. I danced wildly. I car-sang loudly.

And I could do all of that because right now I feel well.
Strong. Fit. Happy. Alive in my body.

But somewhere mid-flip on that trampoline, something landed for me.

I truly believe one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is this:
making our physical, emotional and mental health a non-negotiable priority.

After last year, I know this deeply - sometimes because of things completely outside our control, peak physical performance simply isn’t possible. There are seasons when the bravest thing we can do is slow down, rest, draw inward, and tend gently to ourselves while we heal from whatever has been flung our way.
Those seasons demand compassion. Not guilt. Not comparison. Compassion.

But when we DO have capacity - when strength is available to us - choosing to prioritise our health in ALL its forms is not selfish. It is foundational.

Because living in our strongest, healthiest, most energised bodies and regulated minds is how we show up with presence.

It’s how we access joy.
It’s how we play.
It’s how we connect.
It’s how we build memories that live in our children’s nervous systems long after the moment has passed.

Our children don’t just learn from what we say.
They learn from how fully we are willing to live.

And that…
That might be the loudest love of all.

With and flips,
Naomi 💃❤️

Let’s just be honest… There is nothing- absolutely nothing- easy, pleasant, or pretty about the actual growth process.Th...
17/02/2026

Let’s just be honest…

There is nothing- absolutely nothing- easy, pleasant, or pretty about the actual growth process.
The caterpillar doesn’t pick a pair of wings, slap them on, and begin flying…

It has to shed its old self completely.
Become GOO-
a mushy pile of substance I’d rather not touch-
before it morphs into that glorious butterfly.

And it takes a brave little caterpillar to step into that cocoon-
some part of it knowing it must leave behind all it knew in order to find those wings…

But this little plant of mine, sitting in its too-small pot, reminded me of something else that is inevitable in human growth.

You see- it needs to be repotted.
It has outgrown the pot that once beautifully supported it.

There is nothing wrong with the pot.
There is nothing wrong with the plant.

But if I leave it there, quietly, over time, it will wither-
because the nutrients in that soil can no longer fully support what it is becoming.

Exactly like human growth.

It’s about as linear as a shopping trolley with a wonky wheel.
About as neat as a life properly lived (I think the accurate term is “Wildly Messy”).
And about as comfortable as having feathers shoved up your nose.

All of it woven together by strands of the deepest grief…

Because inevitably, we leave behind people, places, and situations that cannot support our growth.

Allow the grief, my friends…

Grief is the tunnel between what was and what awaits.
But don’t let it send you back into a pot you’ve already grown beyond.

Allow the shedding.
Feel the discomfort and the sadness.

But through it all, remember this:

You’re allowed to change.
You’re allowed to grow.

And sometimes life puts you through fires where the accelerant of hardship leaves you no choice but to evolve- radically.

To see what you can no longer unsee.
To live in a way that no longer fits old containers.

No one else has to understand it.
No one gets to walk your road.
And it’s a road that requires strong shoulders…

Because most often, people pathologise and judge what they cannot understand or keep up with-
it’s how we humans are.

Hear me clearly:

Those are not your people.

You keep doing you.

Keep growing.
Keep shedding.
Keep becoming.

And honour your growth.
It took damn hard work- and many feathers- to get you here.

If you have ever felt judged for the inner work you’ve done,
for the boundaries you’ve built,
or for the way you no longer show up as you once did, remember this:

Your growth is not the problem.
Sometimes others struggle not because you are changing, but because you no longer remain where you once made them comfortable.

Just like this plant didn’t intend to outgrow its pot,
no one sets out to outgrow people or places.

Growth happens when we listen inwardly.
When we respond honestly to life and embrace all it’s feathers.
When we choose to become more fully ourselves.

And just like that plant-
needing more space and doing the hard work doesn’t mean you’re failing.

It means you recognise just how deeply you want to be ALIVE.

With love and greenery,
Naomi 🌱 💚

Over the years, my work has taken me into schools, staff rooms, auditoriums, boardrooms, and leadership spaces- and int...
16/02/2026

Over the years, my work has taken me into schools, staff rooms, auditoriums, boardrooms, and leadership spaces- and into conversations people are often hesitant to have out loud.

Conversations about children, learning, behaviour, and resilience.
And just as importantly, conversations about adults - parents, educators, leaders, managers, and executives - and the emotional systems they operate within every single day.

What has become clear is this:
People don’t struggle because they aren’t capable.
They struggle when pressure overtakes safety, when fear replaces clarity, and when the nervous system is pushed beyond its limits.

I see this every day.

My in-person talks and workshops are built around that reality - not fear, blame, or quick fixes - but insight, compassion, and practical shifts that change how people show up at home, at school, and at work.
And I genuinely love the work I do.

I currently offer more than 20 keynote talks and workshops, including:

• Beyond the Report Card
• Neurodivergent Minds in High-Pressure Environments
• From Fear to Freedom: Helping Children and Teens Manage Anxiety
• Heart-Led Education & Leadership
• Packing Parachutes: The Power of an Educator
• Emergence: Embracing Organisational Change
• Avoiding Boiling: Navigating Stress in Leadership
• Twelve Rules of Resilience in the Workplace
• Loving the Unlovables: Understanding the “Impossible” Child
• Learning from Bamboo: Lessons in Resilience
• One Minute of Your Life: The Happiness That Lasts

…and many more.

These sit within a broader presentation wheelhouse shaped by years of clinical practice and lived experience - across real classrooms, real families, real children, real leadership teams, real employees, and real executives.

The common thread across all of this is simple but powerful:

When we change how adults understand behaviour, stress, and emotional safety, performance improves - sustainably.

I work with schools, parent communities, and organisations who want to build environments where people can think clearly, regulate under pressure, and remain engaged rather than burning out.

I have a limited number of in-person speaking and workshop slots available over the next few months, and I would love to bring this work into organisations and communities ready for thoughtful, evidence-informed conversations that lead to real, lasting change.

📩 Bookings & enquiries:
https://naomiholdt.com/contact/

See you soon,
Naomi

After Beyond the Report Card, I received this message from a parent who attended live…It brought tears to my eyes.I’ve r...
11/02/2026

After Beyond the Report Card, I received this message from a parent who attended live…

It brought tears to my eyes.

I’ve read it more than once...
Because this is the work.

In the middle of the masterclass, while listening on her phone, this mom’s neurodivergent Grade 12 son realised she was tuned in.

He didn’t interrupt to disrupt.
He interrupted because he felt safe.

And instead of shutting it down… she stayed. She listened. And he opened up.

About pressure.
About frustration.
About career choices.
About the weight he’s carrying.

That shift didn’t happen because she suddenly became a “perfect” parent. Perfect parents don’t exist. (And trying to be “perfect” doesn’t lead to connection.)

It happened because she understood what was happening beneath the behaviour.

It happened because in understanding, she connected to what his nervous system was
saying.

That is what we unpacked in this session.

Beyond the Report Card is not about marks.

It’s about what determines whether a child can cope with marks.

Whether they can recover from setbacks.
Whether they feel safe enough to try again.

Across approximately 2 hours of teaching (now available as a 2-part recording), we explore:

👉 how emotional intelligence and nervous system awareness shape learning and performance
👉 why stress interferes with memory, focus, and motivation
👉 how to respond to emotional overwhelm in ways that build connection rather than shame
👉 how to support teens navigating exams, identity, and big life decisions
👉 how to build resilience through everyday moments- not crisis interventions

This work changes homes.
It changes classrooms.
It changes conversations.

And sometimes, it changes a single evening in a Grade 12 boy’s life.

If you weren’t there live, you can now access the full 2-part recording instantly.

👉 Get instant access to Beyond the Report Card for only $26/R426 here:

✨ https://naomiholdt.thrivecart.com/beyond-the-report-card/

With love,
Naomi 💛

I didn’t want to do this anymore... That’s the honest truth. After everything that unfolded last year, for a long time t...
10/02/2026

I didn’t want to do this anymore...

That’s the honest truth.

After everything that unfolded last year, for a long time the idea of standing on a stage again felt heavy.
Exhausting.
Like too much to pick up again.

Not all stages.
Just certain ones.

School halls.
Microphones.
Rows of chairs filled with children and teachers.

You see, it was at Cornwall Hill College that I received a phone call that changed my life- 25 minutes before I was due to present my first scheduled talk of the day.

I delivered the talk anyway.
And another one later that same day.

Not because I was brave.
But because this work has always lived deeper than fear.
Because even in that moment, some part of me still knew why I was there.

Then came surgery.

Two weeks later, I delivered the keynote at the South African Girls’ Schools Conference at Diocesan School for Girls in Grahamstown / Makhanda.

I recall how ‘fed’ and alive my entire being felt after both these events.

And then…
everything caught up with me.

Treatment.
Recovery.
Processing it all.
A body learning how to feel safe again.
A body that is still learning.

Five months later, I spoke again - twice, in fact.
But those were breast cancer talks.

And I could do those.
Because I’d earned the stripes, the scars, the so-called “badge of honour.”
Because they didn’t live in the same place in my nervous system.

But schools did.

Somewhere quietly, without me fully realising it, my body decided:
We are NOT doing this again.

So I told myself I’d stick to writing.
That I’d tortoise.
That I didn’t need rooms anymore.

In truth, I told myself: ‘Never again.’

But last week, I walked back into one- my assistant banging on behind me saying,
“You’ve got this, Naomi.”

I stepped in front of a school audience.
I turned on the mic.

And something familiar returned.

The connection.
The stories people share when they feel understood.
The electric energy.

(Tears welling as I write this - that’s how powerful it was to be there.)

I remembered why I chose this work in the first place.

I remembered that my writing doesn’t come from silence.
It comes from people.
From interaction.
From lived moments.
From listening.

And I remembered something else too:

Trauma does not get to decide what we stop loving.

Last week wasn’t about proving anything.
It wasn’t about pushing through or being “brave.”

It was about remembering.

Remembering that this work still matters.
That conversations about emotional safety and resilience still change lives - quietly, slowly, deeply.

And that this work…
It ignites every cell in my body.

I’m deeply grateful I didn’t let fear have the final word - because last week, a big, BIG part of my soul came alive again.

(So alive, in fact, that my scheduled 90-minute online masterclass last night, Beyond the Report Card, turned into a passion-filled 135 minutes. It was epic.)

Turns out the work I thought I had put down,
was actually just waiting for me to be ready to pick it up with my whole self.

So if there’s a room ready for real conversations, honest emotions, and nervous-system-safe growth…
I’m listening again.

Thank you, with all my heart, to Clarendon Schools for how warmly you embraced me last week- and to every school over the years that has held such welcoming, human rooms.

With love and re-ignition,
Naomi 🤍

Shame.Pressure.And the cost of silence. We have to speak about the unspeakables. Especially shame. A conversation with m...
07/02/2026

Shame.
Pressure.
And the cost of silence.

We have to speak about the unspeakables.

Especially shame.

A conversation with my kids last night reminded me- again-o f something I see daily in my work with children, teens and adults:

Shame is toxic.

Shame grows when we feel alone in our experience.
When we don’t have words.
When we feel we can’t say how we’re really doing.

And shame doesn’t arrive quietly.

It isolates.
It convinces us we are different, broken, not worthy.
It locks us into boxes.

At its core, shame whispers one devastating message:
“You don’t belong.”

And as human beings, we are wired to belong.

Shame is like a vampire.
It thrives in the dark.
It feeds when it stays hidden.

Bring it into the light- TALK ABOUT IT- and it loses its power.

This is why we have to normalise ALL emotions for our kids and teens.
Not just the neat, sunny, socially acceptable ones.

Because too many children are growing up in ‘sunshine-only ‘spaces:

“We don’t do that emotion in this house.”
“Sort it out in your room.”
“Come back when you’re calm.”

And what they hear is:
“Parts of you are not welcome here.”

And for the love of all the Canaries in the world, please don’t EVER tell your boys not to cry or belittle them for it.
Big emotions are not “girl things.”
They are human things.

And the ability to express them in healthy ways is not weakness.
It is emotional intelligence.
It is resilience.

Last year, during my own cancer journey, this truth hit me in full force:

The only way through… is through.

And to keep stepping forward, we need language for what we feel.
When we give emotions words- even the hard ones- we liberate them.
They are not enemies.
They are messages asking to be heard.

Here’s the part we often miss:

If your children don’t see YOU talking about emotions,
they will never feel safe enough to talk about theirs.

If they don’t see tears, frustration, anger, disappointment named and held-
they assume those feelings must be swallowed.

But the bottom line that we cannot bypass or ignore is this:
Suppression leads to depression.

There is no way around it.

When we create homes, classrooms and sports fields where all emotions are allowed, named and regulated within safe relationships, we give our children the greatest resilience gift of all.

We cannot remove challenge.
Life won’t cooperate.

But we can remove shame.
We can lower the pressure.
We can give our children the tools to speak, feel, process and move through hard things- without carrying them alone.

Because pressure + silence + shame
creates a ticking time bomb.

EQ builds resilience.
Psychological safety diffuses pressure.
And conversation saves lives.

This is what Monday’s Masterclass ‘Beyond the Report Card’ is about.
Not fixing children.
Not chasing performance.

But raising humans who feel safe enough to be fully human-
and strong enough to keep going when life gets hard.

Grab your seat now. The room is filling up fast:

✨ https://naomiholdt.thrivecart.com/beyond-the-report-card/

🗓 9 February 2026
🕕 6pm SAST
💻 Live on Zoom + replay included
💰 $26 / R426

For group bookings email support@naomiholdt.com.

With love, and feeling it all,
Naomi 🤍

Address

Hilton
3245

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Telephone

073 585 4672

Website

https://naomiholdt.com/what-the-actual-canary/, https://naomiholdt.com/

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