30/05/2021
Why I stopped “asking the universe”
I believe that most people’s spiritual journey starts with the concept that God is “the universe”
I guess that because I had this god wound that it’s easier to put out trust into something that I felt won’t let me down as God has in my struggle.
Finding spirituality was a saving grace for me as it gave me purpose and ritual. Something to do “externally” that would fill me “internally”. That something, the universe that is outside of me holds the key to what I’m desiring. In reality I just desired to be free. Free from my mind, my finances, my relationships and life in general.
I knew inside of me that I needed to do something else and I was hungry for it. I searched high and low to find this freedom and all the time it sat within me. Hours and hours of meditation never gave me the clarity that I found within a new relationship to my faith in God.
God created the universe, so why was I fooling myself into believing that the universe holds the power to free me? My inability to trust the source, God, the creator of all, set me on a journey to spiral within myself and rebuild the wounded relationship I once had with God.
Now I am a lifetime scholar and building the internal freedom I would like to reflect in my reality. I now understand that God was always working together for my good and my internal resistance to see this caused me pain that I maybe didn’t have to endure.
I am rising from a period of spiral and I’m accepting the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I’m receiving the gifts and the glory from what I have learnt in this period of re-learning and I am surely creating platforms for people like me to rise above the circumstances that are holding them back from the vision and purpose that God has for their lives.