06/09/2025
In the company of her only son, Ms. Funmilola, 37, walked the length of the recreation park before settling into one of the benches at the extreme. With her dark sunglasses on, she tried as much as possible to seclude herself from the merrymaking that had rented the atmosphere.
It was a public holiday, and understandably, many fun seekers, comprising women, men and children had trooped into the park to have some good time. They all seemed to be having fun, except the single mother of one who sat quietly, cuddling the boy, whom she had recently adopted. The three-year-old munched the biscuit in his hands in a guileless manner as if there was nothing in sight to worry about.
Funmilola has virtually become a recluse following the painful experience she had in her marriage of 11 years, simply because she could not conceive.
Her story touches the heart deeply, but no one would imagine she had been through hell in her matrimonial home until she shared her story to our correspondent after an agreement to meet for a discussion at the popular park on a Thursday afternoon.
In an emotive voice, she recalled that from assault, name-calling, insults, constant abuse to starvation, the past ten years had been the worst of her life, simply because they didn’t have a child.
She explained, “He was my first love. We met while in the university and we had a satisfying courtship. We got married and things were going on smoothly between us. We were both employed, so we decided to have joint investment. I earned a little more than him, and because he paid the bills, I invested more in the business. But we didn’t have a child.
He was her first love and they thought they had a promising future together. They also had a number of joint investments worth millions with which they had planned to raise their (un)born children. But all those fantasies had eluded them now as they almost divorced
“He was my best friend before we got married. We had a beautiful wedding, so our honeymoon was fun. We were ready to have children as quickly as possible so we could move on. But, one year after, there was nothing, second year passed, I didn’t conceive. Then I became apprehensive.
“We went for several tests, but doctors told us to be patient. Doctors told us we were both okay medically, but nothing changed. In some places, they said it was mere anxiety that was stopping me from conceiving, so they told me to be calm. In some other places, they said he had low s***m count, so we had to review his diet. I guess we did our best.
“Initially we were not worried because doctors told us it was not abnormal, so, we were not troubled, but we kept trying."
I visited places that my faith would ordinarily not permit, because all I wanted was a child, but nothing came out of it. I cried for months and later years, but that didn’t bring any difference.
In a bid to save her marriage, Funmiola who almost clocked 40, said she visited many prophets for prayers but nothing came out of it.
“There was a time a prophet was praying for me and was touching my tummy. He said God had forgiven me for those abortions that I did. He said it was my numerous abortions that caused my childlessness, whereas I have never had an abortion before.
“It got to a point that I asked myself if I was still living with the same man I married; he suddenly became a beast, beating me on any slight provocation, calling me barren, harlot and useless, just because I couldn’t conceive,” she said as she wiped her tears the ninth time within three minutes.
Their love affair that used to be envied by many became one that was largely characterised by frustration and abuse, such that neighbours and friends had become peacemakers before they dissolved it.
She continued, “He became something else. He refused to eat at home and he started treating my family members with disdain anytime they came around.
Funmilola’s experience is quite disturbing and many who know her would empathise with her, but that is just one of the excruciating experiences that women go through in their marriages if they are unable to conceive.
If those were just the things she faced, she probably wouldn’t have thought to opt out of the marriage. But James (her husband) took things to another level when he started beating her, bringing other women home and openly told her he would not make love to her again because she had “not justified the ones he had deposited in her.”
My husband became impatient. He said he was tired of having s*x with me because all the ones he had been doing had not produced any result and he wasn’t ready to waste his s***m again, unless I would give him ‘blow job’. I rebuked him for making such suggestion to me
“While philandering with other women he was carrying about, he impregnated two of them, and he would still bring them home and beat me. His sisters would humiliate me and call me names and he wouldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to leave because of the stigma attached to women who are divorced, so I reported him to his mother, who told me it is an abomination to be childless in their lineage. After a disagreement one afternoon, he threatened to kill me if I didn’t leave. He brought out his gun and almost shot me
In her narrative that could move anyone to tears, the depressed civil servant recalled how her husband gave up on their bid to have a child, as she could not conceive.
“I went to many places all because I wanted a child, but nothing came out of it. I lost so much money to prophets who assured me that I would be pregnant, but nothing to show for it.”
In my search for help, I think God saw what ideas going through and forgave me. Thats how I met SPIRITUALFATHER DR EHI. He proved to me that regardless of the differences in faith people have, even what medical reports have to say. Traditional healing under the guidance of our Ancestors and our Fore fathers can still do wonders.
After 11 years of infertility with only one adopted child, Spiritual father Dr. Ehi changed the whole story, he took me for counciling and performed a few rituals and sent me back home. My husband who had spent 15 months without coming in to our matrimonial bedroom knocked the door around midnight. He apologised to me coz the life he had made me go through and I forgave him as I was advised to.
We went ahead and made love and oh MY GOD, What a night it was. Boom... I conceived for the first time in my life and gave birth to twins. We are now living ahappy life with our beautiful babies and our adopted son.
I can't thank you enough My spiritual father for what you did to me. May the good Lord and the ancestors bless you richly.
Contact him today if you have the same or even more challenges than the ones I had. You will never be disappointed.
Email: drehi2310@gmail.com
WhatsApp +27 73 023 4774
