Melissa Cilliers Clinical Psychologist

15/07/2025

15/07/2025

Unforesting…
A season that occurs after a life-altering event.
It comes after you’ve exited the survival forest – the one that kept you alive when everything else fell apart.

Unforesting is the slow, tender process of finding your way back to yourself.
Not your old self. That self is gone.
But a new, as-yet-unknown self.
A becoming.

It’s a journey through the long-forgotten debris of who you were and what you’ve endured.
It’s a season of truth. Of rediscovery. Of raw, hard-fought freedom.

It requires grieving.
Raging.
Unraveling.
Reinventing.
Growing.
Healing.
Becoming.

To Unforest, you must find the courage to face the tsunami of emotions head-on -
To acknowledge every single one without judgment.
No suppressing. No sweeping aside.
Just feel.
Feel. It. All.
Because pain is an inevitable requirement of rebirth…

My Unforesting has begun.
You see, in the thick of it, forest walking is about surviving. Actually it’s more like forest charging.
One foot in front of the other. Get through.

But once the forest ends, you don’t automatically step into the light.
There’s a whole process that still needs to happen…

Unforesting must occur.

Yesterday, I realized just how much grief this season holds.
Grief for so many things.
And there have been tears.
I’m letting them fall as soul-comforters.

This morning, I picked up a book by Jon Kabat-Zin (one I bought a few weeks ago) and flipped to a random page.
It read:
“Work at allowing more things to unfold in your life without forcing them to happen and without rejecting the ones that don’t fit your idea of what ‘should’ be happening. See whether you can sense the spaces through which you might move with no effort.”

Effortless moving through spaces…
Without expectation.
That’s exactly what I did.

I faced the wave. I allowed myself to fall apart.
To be soothed by a deeply in-tune, ADHD border collie pup.
And then-
I got up.
Off the floor. Literally and figuratively.
And did what needed doing.
Productive. Grounded. Alive.

Throughout the day, I rode the waves as they came. In the car. Over the sink. On that floor.
No forcing. No controlling.
Just noticing. Accepting.

My day held ALL the emotions.
I let them in.
Didn’t push them away.
Didn’t label them as wrong.

I saw them for what they were -
Wise messengers.
Carrying truth.
Releasing all that’s been trapped in the corners of my soul.

Their voices are the ones that open the door.
To unburdening.
To healing.
To finally exhaling…

Maybe THAT’s what Unforesting really is…

Being.
Accepting.
Not forcing spaces that aren’t ready.
Not controlling outcomes.
Not fearing emotions. Rather leaning into them.

It’s standing in front of the tsunami and whispering:
‘Come.’

It’s choosing you.
Finding you.
And learning to unconditionally love that you who still needs a voice-
Especially in the mess.
Especially in the ache.
Especially in the becoming.

If you are in the season of Unforesting, my friends, know this:

You are not broken. You are not done. Through the exhaustion-
You are building.

And every shattered piece of your being is rising into something exquisitely beautiful. Believe it.

With love and new seasons,
Naomi ❤️

PS. Thought this pic (with hounds and ducks- yes in the pool) just perfectly captured the Unforesting process- chaotic, messy, but beautifully becoming… Evidence of doing LIFE… Just rolling with everything that comes your way (even when your slippers get knocked into the icy pool by that ADHD Border Collie Pup!)

30/06/2025

26/06/2025

Tammy Schamuhn | June 23rd, 2025 In our fast-paced, always-connected world, it’s becoming increasingly rare to see children climbing trees, digging in the

26/06/2025

Trust the process 🧡

26/06/2025

I’ve often thought about the three streams of human beings walking this earth…

First, there are the “Woe is me” wanderers- always focused on what’s wrong, in themselves, in others, in life.

They cling to negativity, complaining, criticizing- never moving beyond their circumstances.

Then there’s the Fake Fine Tribe – the ones who insist on sunshine and rainbows, even when the storm is raging.

But the truth is- Forced positivity isn’t strength… It’s avoidance.

Slapping a smile on, ignoring the hard, pretending everything‘s fine… All this just disconnects us from ourselves, from others… from what’s REAL.

Got to be honest here- For me, it’s just as exhausting to be around constant fake positivity as it is to be around constant victimhood.

And then… There’s the third stream.
The Growers.

They get knocked down too- often harder, more frequently, and with heavy weight on their shoulders.

But here’s the difference–

They refuse to be defined by the hardships.
They choose, no matter how hard, how long, how slow- to bloom in the dark spaces instead of being consumed by them.

They feel the feels.
They get real.
They hold space for the hard– and still reach for the good.
They rise- not by denying life’s struggles, but by walking through them, and choosing to grow anyway.

The people I could chat to for hours…

The ones who aren’t afraid to feel pain, to speak truth, to do the hard work of becoming.

The ones who turn hardship into depth, struggle into strength, and setbacks into stepping stones.

The ones who know life isn’t always okay– but they keep healing anyway.

These are the ones I’ll always choose to sit at my table- the ones who wear their truth without apology… without fear…

So if today feels heavy-
If life feels far from fine-
Please know- you’re not alone.

You’re not meant to be a full-time member of the Bright Side Brigade or the Positivity Pretenders.

You’re meant to be human.
You’re meant to feel it ALL.

Some days you’ll embrace life with more gratitude.
Other days, you’ll want to keep the duvet firmly pulled over your earlobes and just tortoise there...

Your dark space isn’t forever.
You’re just growing through it.

Clutching victimhood won’t get us far. Scorching ourselves by forcing sunshine won’t either.

But here’s what will:

The choice to be human.
The courage to feel at all.
And that choice, my friends,
To be real, to feel it all, to grow anyway…
THAT is where true bravery lives.

With love always,
Naomi ❤️

18/06/2025

🤎

18/06/2025