26/03/2026
A Letter to a Child with Cancer (Also Known As The Dougy Letter)
I wrote this letter in 1978, in response to a nine-year-old boy with cancer who wrote to me and asked three very moving questions: "What is life? “What is death?...And why do young children have to die?”
I barrowed my daughter’s colored felt pens and printed him a little letter in a simple language, illustrating it, and sending it off to him. His response was not only very positive, but needless to say, he was a very proud young man to have a special little picture book from Elisabeth.
He shared it not only with his parents, but also with the parents of other dying children.
Before his death, he gave his permission to have it printed, to help other young children understand these most important questions.
- Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
“This is a story about Life and windstorms, about seeds that we plant in the spring, and flowers that bloom in the summer, and harvests in the fall. Death that comes early in life and to some people late--- and what it is all about.
Imagine the very beginning of Life and God who created everything-as the sun who shines over the world and warms us, who makes the flowers grow and who’s rays always cover the earth-even when clouds make it impossible for us to see them.
God always sees us, His love always shines on us and it does not matter how small or how big we are and nothing can ever stop that!
When people are born, they start as tiny seeds like the dandelion seeds are blown in the meadow- Some end up in the gutter, some on a pretty lawn in front of a fancy mansion, some in a flowerbed—And so it is with us, we start our life in a rich home or a poor family, or in an orphanage, or hungry or dying babies or beloved by parents who wanted us very much or who adopted us and picked us personally.
Some people may call it the Gamble of Life, but you have to remember that God is also in charge of the wind and He cares as much about dandelion seeds as He cares for all living things-especially children-and there no coincidences in Life! He never discriminates, He loves unconditionally, He understands, He does not judge- He is all love.
You and God picked your own parents out of a choice of a billion! You chose them so you can help them to grow and learn and they can be your teachers too.
Life is like a school where we are given a chance to learn many things-like to get along with other people, or to understand our feelings, to learn to be honest with ourselves and others, to learn to give and receive love-and when we have passed all the tests-(just like in school)-we are allowed to graduate-that means we are all allowed to return to our Real Home- to God where we all came from and we meet all the people we ever loved-like a family reunion after graduation—That is the time when we die, when we shed our body, when we have done our work and are able to move on.
In the winter you cannot see life in a tree—but when spring comes, the small green leaves come out-one after another—and in late summer the tree is full of fruit and has fulfilled its promise-it’s mission and purpose.
In the fall the leaves fall off-one by one and the tree “goes to rest” over winter. Some flowers bloom only for a few days-everybody admires and loves them as a sign of spring and HOPE. Then they die-but they have done what they needed to do! Some flowers bloom for a very long time-people take them for granted, they don’t even notice them any more-the way they treat old people-they watch them sitting in a park until they are gone one day for ever.
Everything in life is a circle; Day follows night, spring comes after winter. When a boat disappears behind the horizon, it is not “gone,” just out our sight- God watches over everything that He created-the earth, the sun, trees, flowers and people-who have to get through the school of life before they graduate.
When we have done all the work we were sent to earth to do-we are allowed to shed our body-which imprisons our soul like a cocoon encloses the future butterfly-and when the time is right we can let go of it and we will be free of pain, free of fears and worries-free as a very beautiful butterfly, returning home to God which is a place where we are never alone-where we continue to grow and to sing and dance, where we are with those we loved (who shed their cocoons earlier) and where we are surrounded with more Love than you can ever imagine!”
Written and excerpt from her book: The Tunnel and The Light by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
