09/06/2025
“Why My Best Advice Sounds Like the Worst Advice”
As a mental health counsellor, I often give advice that sounds… well, painfully obvious. Disappointingly simple. Even cold.
Advice like:
– “Stop isolating.”
– “Do something you love.”
– “Go for a walk.”
– “Get up and do it depressed.”
And I know what you might be thinking: “If it were that easy, I wouldn’t be here.”
I hear you. And I promise — I understand more than you think. But here’s the truth: the best advice for mental health often sounds like the dumbest. Not because it lacks depth or empathy, but because healing starts in the boring, daily, repetitive moments. And that’s the hard part.
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The Lie That Healing Must Feel Deep and Dramatic
We often expect therapy and healing to be these big aha! moments, emotional breakthroughs, or deep insight sessions.
And sometimes, they are. But often, healing is disguised in mundane action:
• Brushing your teeth even though your brain says, “What’s the point?”
• Replying to one text even though isolation feels safer.
• Sitting outside for 5 minutes because movement feels too big today.
• Drawing, baking, or singing — not because you feel inspired, but because the act itself may be what creates the inspiration again.
We don’t always feel our way into action — sometimes, we have to act our way into feeling.
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The Paradox of Compassionate Truth
When I say “stop isolating,” I’m not being cold. I’m holding space for the part of you that already knows staying in that room alone for three more days won’t help.
When I say “get up and do it depressed,” I’m not dismissing your pain. I’m respecting it enough to say: Your life doesn’t end here. You don’t have to wait to feel better to start living again.
This is where empathy can look a little less soft and more real.
It’s not about telling you what you want to hear — it’s about telling you what your soul already knows but your brain is too foggy to reach.
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We Don’t Heal in Loops — We Heal in Motion
Mental health recovery doesn’t always come from sitting and thinking about how to recover.
You can’t overthink your way into joy. You can’t isolate your way into connection.
And most importantly — you can’t wait for motivation to appear. It’s not the start line. It’s the result.
So no, it’s not “just go for a walk.”
It’s: “Show your nervous system you’re not stuck anymore.”
No, it’s not “just get up.”
It’s: “Let your body take the first step even when your mind can’t.”
No, it’s not “just do what you love.”
It’s: “Reconnect with the parts of you that joy forgot but never left.”
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The Hardest Part: It Feels Like I Don’t Understand
And that’s where it stings the most.
When I give advice like this, it might sound like I don’t understand how deep your pain is.
But I do. I just also know how deep your strength goes — the part of you that doesn’t get enough credit.
You are not lazy, broken, or beyond help.
You are tired. You are hurting. And you are being asked to build while bleeding.
And sometimes, healing starts with doing the thing that makes no logical sense to your depression.
So no — my best advice isn’t fancy, poetic, or perfectly tailored.
But it’s true. It’s gentle truth that refuses to lie to your pain just to sound kinder.
Because I’m not here to give you comforting lies.
I’m here to walk with you through uncomfortable truths that can save your life.
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You don’t have to feel better to begin. But you do have to begin to feel better.
Let’s take that first step — even if we have to take it depressed
