
15/07/2025
Do you retreat behind the safety of silence, hoping for anxiety to pass on its own?
Then you may recognise yourself in a coping strategy that a client of mine followed for a long time. Here is Vincent's story...
In a quiet house by the sea, Vincent kept a guest room always locked. He never entered it. Never spoke of it. And when asked, he’d simply say, “It’s better that way.”
But anxiety came anyway.
Not through the front door, but in creaks and drafts, in sleepless nights and silent stares. Vincent felt the room without touching it. And in time, the locked door became louder than the worry itself.
One evening, he unlocked it.
Inside: no chaos, no monster — just a modest space. Familiar. There was a chair. A window. And light.
Vincent didn’t try to fix anxiety.
Or argue with it.
Or chase it out.
He gave it a seat.
Sometimes, it paced. Sometimes, it sulked. And sometimes, it simply sat beside him while he figured things out.
He stopped fighting it.
And the house grew quieter.
The guest room stayed open. And discomfort — when welcomed — asked less of him than denial ever did.
If you do want to try Vincents new strategy, then a safe therapeutic context could be an ideal place to "give your anxiety a seat" and start a conversation.