Back to me healing

28/05/2026

Some of us didn’t learn love through safety.
We learned it through survival.
Through reading moods.
Keeping the peace.
Staying small.
Becoming hyper-independent.
Ignoring our own needs just to feel emotionally safe.
And eventually… the nervous system starts believing chaos is normal.
Healing is not becoming a different person.
It’s teaching your body that safety is finally allowed now.
🤍
If this resonated with you, save this for the version of you that learned survival before softness.

27/05/2026

If you’re a recovering pick-me, maybe it’s time to start picking yourself.

A lot of women were never taught healthy love. We were taught to over-give. Over-function. Over-explain. Over-tolerate emotionally unavailable behaviour just to feel chosen.

People pleasing is often a nervous system response, not a personality trait.

Healing looks like learning that you do not need to abandon yourself to be loved.

And honestly? That changes everything.

26/05/2026

The kind of men I hope my boys become.

Not perfect men.
Not men who never make mistakes.

But men who can repair.
Reflect.
Regulate.
Respect.

Men who understand that strength is not intimidation.
That kindness is not weakness.
That leadership is not control.

Because one day my boys will become men.

And maybe breaking generational patterns starts with raising boys who feel safe enough to become emotionally honest men.

This is the work.
This is the legacy.

🤍

25/05/2026

A few days ago a story I was part of aired on Channel 4 News.

The conversation was about women’s safety in South Africa and the work Girls on Fire is doing to empower women.

But honestly…

for me it became about something much deeper.

Voice.

For a long time I believed healing meant staying quiet. Keeping the peace. Making myself smaller. Surviving silently.

Now I see things differently.

We live in a country where violence and fear have become so normalized that many women stop trusting themselves long before they ever speak up.

And I don’t want silence to be what my boys inherit from me.

One day they will become men.

I want them to grow into men who understand that strength is not intimidation.

Strength is safety. Strength is empathy. Strength is emotional intelligence. Strength is integrity.

This is not about revenge. It’s not about hate. And it’s not about destroying anyone.

It’s about truth. Healing. Accountability. And using my voice with integrity.

I’ve also been quietly writing a book…

and maybe this is the beginning of me finally telling that story too. 🤍

24/05/2026

My 7-year-old recently had a speech and a poem due on the same day.

And I caught myself wondering…

When did childhood become so performance-based?

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being a “good” child meant: achieving, performing, behaving, pushing through, making adults proud.

And honestly… I think a lot of us carried that mindset straight into adulthood.

We struggle to rest. We feel guilty slowing down. We disconnect from our bodies. We tie our worth to productivity.

Then our children mirror the same anxiety back to us.

I’m not against discipline. I think structure, responsibility and respect matter deeply.

But I also think emotional intelligence matters.

Our children do not just learn from what we say. They learn from: how we handle stress, how we rest, how we speak to ourselves, how we regulate, and how safe we allow them to feel around us.

Maybe the next generation doesn’t need more pressure.

Maybe they need more presence.

And maybe healing starts when we stop confusing control with love.

23/05/2026

Kids spell love T-I-M-E.
And I’ve realized even small moments of undivided attention can completely change the way a child feels seen. 🤍

22/05/2026

South Africa experiences one of the world's highest levels of violence against women, with an average of 15 killed every day. And threats to women and girls ...

22/05/2026

22/05/2026

For a long time, I thought being a “good mom” meant never losing my patience.
Never raising my voice.
Never getting overwhelmed.
Never needing space.
And every time I fell short of that impossible standard… I carried so much guilt.
But healing has taught me something different.
My boys do not need a perfect mother.
They need a mother who repairs.
A mother who apologizes.
A mother who teaches boundaries, respect, emotional safety, and accountability by living it first.
I’m not raising robots.
And I’m not trying to be one either.
I’m trying to raise boys who know that emotions are normal… and that love can still exist inside honesty, boundaries, and repair.
That’s the kind of home I want to build.

21/05/2026

Wellness doesn’t always have to look productive, expensive or perfectly aesthetic.

Sometimes regulation looks like:

less noise

more sunlight

drinking water

sitting outside

saying no

resting before your body forces you to

Tiny habits matter more than we think 🤍

20/05/2026

Sometimes the body whispers before it screams.

And I think a lot of women have been surviving for so long… they don’t even realize how disconnected, overstimulated, exhausted, or emotionally responsible they’ve become.

You can look functional and still be deeply dysregulated.

You can be productive and still be carrying survival mode in your nervous system.

Healing isn’t becoming lazy, weak, or “too sensitive.”

Sometimes healing is simply learning that:
you were never meant to live in constant fight-or-flight in the first place.

And honestly… I think a lot of women deserve more softness than they allow themselves 🤍