South Coast Hospice

28/05/2026

Not everyone is able to be at the bedside when someone they love is dying.

Sometimes distance, illness, lockdowns, timing, family dynamics, or the wishes of the person who is dying make it impossible. And for those left behind, that absence can carry a very heavy kind of guilt.

I have sat beside many people in their final days and moments, and one thing I believe deeply is this:

They do not take with them only who was in the room at the last breath.

They take with them who loved them.
Who showed up in the ways they could.
Who called.
Who wrote.
Who prayed.
Who worried.
Who cared from across the miles.
Who loved them long before the bedside became part of the story.

I have also seen people wait until the room is quiet to take their last breath. Sometimes a loved one steps out for just a moment, and that is when death comes. I do not believe that is abandonment. I believe that sometimes, it is permission, privacy, a final letting go without being watched by the people they love most. Most people do not want that to be the last thing you see. 

And sometimes, the person dying does not want anyone there. That can leave deep hurt behind, but even then, their choice does not erase the love that existed.

If you were not there, I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

Your absence from the room does not mean you were absent from their life.

They did not leave carrying only the memory of who was beside the bed. I believe they carried the love, the history, the laughter, the forgiveness, the conversations, the care, and all the ways you belonged to one another.

And maybe this is also our reminder to say the things now.

Not because we will always get the perfect goodbye, but because love should not have to wait for the bedside.

xo
Gabby
www.thehospiceheart.net

28/05/2026

One of the weirdest parts of funerals is realizing that grief apparently causes some people to completely lose the ability to think before they speak.

At my funeral service, one person tried to comfort me by saying, “Don’t worry, you’re still young so you’ll find someone else.” Like I was replacing an old car.

Then another person said, “I know exactly how you feel. I get sad every time my wife goes out of town on business.” And I remember thinking, your wife is in Cleveland for a conference, but my person is dead.

We hear some unbelievably dumb s**t after a loss.

I know most people mean well so they reach for clichés, comparisons, silver linings, or awkward attempts at reassurance.

And some people, (usually the people that never lost someone they love), just get really uncomfortable around grief. They panic and want to fix something that can’t be fixed.

But those of us grieving really don’t need perfect words; we just need presence and someone willing to sit in the sadness with us without trying to explain it away.

The one thing I remember more than anything on this grief journey is the first time I shared my story in a grief support group. After I finished talking the woman next to me just put her hand on my arm and said nothing.

I’ll never ever forget that.

Gary Sturgis
Author: 'SURVIVING GRIEF - 365 Days A Year'

23/05/2026

Behind every moment of care is a nurse choosing compassion, patience, and presence. It’s not just clinical, it’s deeply human. 👩‍⚕️💙

Today we recognise the difference they make, quietly and consistently.

23/05/2026

"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not "get over" the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal, and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same, nor would you want to.

The time we take following a loss is important in grief and grieving as well as in healing. This gift of grief represents a completion of a connection we will never forget. A time of reflection, pain, despair, tragedy, hope, readjustment, reinvolvement, and healing.

The time after a significant loss is full of the feelings that we usually have spent a lifetime trying not to feel. Sadness, anger, and emotional pain sit on our doorstep with a deeper range than we have ever felt. Their intensity is beyond our normal range of human emotions. Our defenses are no match for the power of the loss. We stand alone with no precedent or emotional repertoire for this kind of loss. We have never lost a mother, father, spouse, or child before. To know these feelings and meet them for the first time brings up responses from draining to terrifying and everything in between. We don't know that these foreign, unwelcome feeling are part of the healing process. How can anything that feels so bad ever help to heal us?

With the power of grief comes much of the fruits of our grief and grieving. We may still be in the beginning of our grief, and yet, it winds its way from the feelings of anticipating a loss to the beginnings of reinvolvement. It completes an intense cycle of emotional upheaval. It doesn't mean we forget; it doesn't mean we are not revisited by the pain of loss. It does mean we have experienced life to its fullest, complete with the cycle of birth and death. We have survived loss. We are allowing the power of grief and grieving to help us to heal and to live with the one we lost.

That is the Grace of Grief.
That is the Miracle of Grief.
That is the Gift of Grief." -

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler (Authors of the book: On Grief and Grieving- Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss)

21/05/2026

TAKE NOTE: Please note the South Coast Hospice's Donkey Derby is on JUNE 13. Check out the South Coast Herald What's On this week for more exciting upcoming events.

14/05/2026

It’s a common misconception that choosing hospice and palliative care means giving up. The truth is, it’s taking control.

It means shifting away from aggressive treatments that may be painful or offer no chance of success, and instead finding the peace of mind, the comfort of enhanced quality of life, and the confidence to take each day as it comes. Talk with us. Visit hospicebuffalo.com or call 716-686-8000

13/05/2026

13/05/2026

With Taneil Shani Arkner – I just got recognised as one of their top fans! 🎉

13/05/2026

Some of you may already know that I am a facilitator with the Humane Prison Hospice Project. I have been doing this work since 2023. Each time I am invited into a prison, my passion for this work evolves in ways I never quite expect.

Over the last two weeks, I spent time with incarcerated men who are providing end-of-life care to others behind bars. Last week, we talked about vigiling, what it means to sit at the bedside of someone who is dying, and the quiet power of presence. We talked about meeting people where they are, without needing to fix anything. They reminded me that presence itself is one of the most unselfish gifts we can offer another human being.

Yesterday, our conversation centered around grief.

Not just grief after death, but grief in all the ways it exists throughout a life. The loss of relationships. The loss of opportunities. The loss of the person you once were. The grief of choices made, paths not taken, and futures that will never unfold the way you imagined.

Some spoke about losing loved ones they could not say goodbye to. Others spoke about having the chance to say goodbye even if they could not attend a funeral. We talked about witnessing dying men reconnect with family after years of silence, and sometimes witnessing families still carrying anger, hurt, and regret.

What struck me most was this: grief is rarely about one thing. It is layered into our disappointments, our trauma, our regrets, our love, our humanity, and even our hope. It becomes part of the story of who we were, who we are, and who we still want to become.

I left feeling deeply humbled and incredibly grateful. This work fills my heart with purpose, but it also gently asks me to look at my own life with more honesty and compassion.

I think all of us are searching for ways to matter, ways to contribute, and ways to leave people feeling seen, valued, or less alone.

And maybe sometimes it starts simply with being willing to sit beside another human being and truly see them.

Compassion does not ask who deserves it, it simply rises from the heart of one human being and reaches toward another. And sometimes, in the most unexpected places, we witness it in its purest form.

xo
Gabby

To learn more about the Humane Prison Hospice Project click this link: https://humaneprisonhospiceproject.org/

10/05/2026

"After the passing of a loved one, we remain committed to providing support to the family as they walk a journey of loss."

Palliative care is not just for the patient — it is for everyone who loves them.

At Breede River Hospice, our psychosocial team, led by professional social workers walks alongside families from the very first referral through to life after loss.

We offer:
• 💬 Family meetings to discuss concerns and support needs
• 🤝 Ongoing contact throughout illness and bereavement
• 🌈 Bereavement support
• 🧠 Specialist grief and loss support

Recognition means acknowledging that grief is not a disorder — it is a human experience that deserves time, space, and compassionate care.

📞 Speak to our social work team: +27 23 626 5710
Langeberg Municipality

10/05/2026

🌸 Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing moms! 💖
Wishing you a beautiful day filled with love and happiness. Illovo Nursery is OPEN today — come visit us for plants, gifts, treats & more! 🌿☕
The market is OPEN today at Illovo Nursery!
fans The Terrace Restaurant & Beer Garden Illovo Beach Art Gallery Melanie Ives Sindey-Ann du Plessis