Hendrien van der Bijl- Imago Relationship Therapy

Hendrien van der Bijl- Imago Relationship Therapy 🩷Therapist, married millennial, emotional translator. Helping couples stop living like polite strangers. Take the quiz. Get the guide. Do the work.👇

Being married for 8 years, together for almost 14… I look back and realize, the two young teens who fell in love don’t e...
14/10/2025

Being married for 8 years, together for almost 14… I look back and realize, the two young teens who fell in love don’t exist anymore.

When we said yes at 21, we said yes to versions of ourselves that are long gone.
And the people we’re becoming? They don’t exist yet either.

Marriage means saying yes again and again, not to who your partner was, but to who they’re becoming.

And that’s the part no one tells you about.
Because change is uncomfortable. Vulnerable.
You’re not only watching your partner evolve, you’re changing right in front of them.

Having two kids changed me in ways I couldn’t explain.
It was raw, disorienting, and sometimes it made us wonder if we’d reached the end.

But what Imago taught me is this:
It wasn’t the end. It was the beginning of something deeper.
Tools don’t just fix, they transform how you see each other.

Marriage, then, isn’t about staying the same.
It’s about holding hands while you both become something new.

💬 What’s one season in your relationship that changed you forever?

Yes, I’m a therapist.But I’m also a wife, a mom, and a woman still learning how to love, better, slower, deeper.Every to...
12/10/2025

Yes, I’m a therapist.
But I’m also a wife, a mom, and a woman still learning how to love, better, slower, deeper.

Every tool I teach… I’ve had to use myself.
Every truth I share… I’ve had to live through first.
Every couple I sit with… reminds me that love isn’t something you master, it’s something you practice.

Because the truth is, I don’t just teach this work, I live it.
In the arguments after bedtime.
In the moments I want to shut down but choose to stay open.
In the everyday effort of turning love into a verb.

I’m not here because I have it all figured out.
I’m here because I’ve seen what happens when you don’t give up.
And I want that for you too.

🩶 If you’re ready to start, my free Reconnection Guide is your first step.
Comment “GUIDE” and I’ll send it to you.

Somewhere along the way, it starts to feel like you can’t be both.You don’t stop loving each other, you just start lovin...
11/10/2025

Somewhere along the way, it starts to feel like you can’t be both.

You don’t stop loving each other, you just start loving differently.
More practically. More responsibly. More like a team.

You tell yourself it’s just a phase.
That you’ll find your way back when things calm down.
But things never really do, do they?

You manage the house like pros.
Your career is solid.
The kids are thriving.
You even make it to the gym sometimes.

From the outside, it looks like you’ve mastered adulthood.
But on the inside… you can’t remember when touch last felt pleasant.
When you last laughed…really laughed.
When you last looked at your partner and felt that flutter in your chest.

So you quietly make peace with the absence of butterflies.
You convince yourself it’s not about you anymore.
And in some ways, you’re right, parenthood is all-consuming.

But marriage?
Marriage asks something else of you.
It asks for intention, curiosity, presence.
It asks you to see your partner not as your co-parent, but as your lover, again and again.

Because being good parents doesn’t have to mean losing your couplehood.
You can be both, but it takes work, skill, and a little bit of rebellion.

It’s not easy to keep choosing marriage.
But it’s worth it when you realize you get to be the responsible parent and the playful, passionate lover, with the same person.

💬 How do you keep your couplehood alive in the middle of parenthood?

You’ve probably tried everything.The late night conversations that go nowhere.The promises that fade by Monday.The thera...
08/10/2025

You’ve probably tried everything.
The late night conversations that go nowhere.
The promises that fade by Monday.
The therapy sessions that helped for a moment, but not enough to bring you back.

Here’s the truth: most couples don’t fall out of love, they fall out of safety.
And once safety is gone, communication stops working.
Connection stops feeling natural.
You start surviving each other instead of seeing each other.

That’s why I offer the 3-Day Relationship Intensive
a complete reset designed for couples who are hanging on by a thread but still hoping there’s something worth saving.

In 3 days, we don’t just talk about problems,
we rebuild safety, restore curiosity, and help you remember why you chose each other in the first place.

Before you decide to end your marriage,
you owe it to yourselves to experience what’s actually possible when the right framework is applied.

Because you can’t make a decision about divorce
until you’ve experienced what real connection feels like again.

The transformation couples experience in 3 days
is what years of surface-level therapy couldn’t touch.

If you’ve been looking for a sign, this is it.
Book a free call to see if this is the right next step for you.
Because your marriage deserves one last real chance. ❤️

Once upon a time,there was a little boy with big emotions.He felt things deeply.But when he cried, he was told,“Stop bei...
06/10/2025

Once upon a time,
there was a little boy with big emotions.

He felt things deeply.
But when he cried, he was told,
“Stop being dramatic.”
“Go to your room.”
“Boys don’t act like that.”

So he learned to shut it down.
Tuck it in.
Put a lid on it.

He grew up hearing,
“Man up.”
“Keep it together.”
“Don’t let her get to you.”

So now, as a man, when conflict hits,
he doesn’t yell.
He doesn’t talk.
He disappears.

Not because he doesn’t care.
But because his nervous system is doing exactly what it was trained to do:

Shut down. Stay safe. Don’t feel.

But here’s the problem:
What once protected him…
Now pushes love away.

He wants to come closer.
He just doesn’t know how.

If you’re a man reading this:

You don’t need to be fixed.
You just need a new way.
🖤 DM me “I’m ready” or click the link in my bio to take the first step.

If you’re his partner:

Send him this post and ask gently:
“Does this feel true for you?”

That question might just open a door
he’s been waiting his whole life to walk through.







06/10/2025

Some days, it feels like you’re holding everything together with one hand.
And you start asking yourself
What do I let go of to keep everything else from falling apart?

If you’re honest… sometimes your relationship feels like the easiest one to drop.
Because it’ll “still be there.”
Because your partner will “understand.”

But here’s the truth ⬇️
Our intimate relationships are the foundation of everything.
When that connection is shaky, everything else trembles.
But when you feel safe, secure, and alive with your partner, suddenly the rest of life feels a little lighter, a little easier to carry.

If you’re tired of carrying it all,
let this be your reminder, it’s okay.
You’re okay.
And there is a way forward.

Book a free 30-minute call if you’d like to chat, I’m here.
Comment RECONNECT to book your time slot.

We often think resentment fades when we talk it out or “move past it.”But most of the time, resentment isn’t just about ...
05/10/2025

We often think resentment fades when we talk it out or “move past it.”
But most of the time, resentment isn’t just about what went wrong, it’s about what goes unseen.

Appreciation is what melts the tension.
It says, “I notice you. I value you. You matter.”
And that changes everything.

When we feel appreciated, our walls come down.
We soften.
We want to give again.
That’s the power of appreciation, it shifts the energy in a relationship faster than any apology ever could.

Try this for one week 👇

1️⃣ Name it out loud
“Hey, I saw how you handled bedtime tonight. Thank you.”

2️⃣ Write it down
Leave a note, send a text, or jot it on the mirror. Small words. Big impact.

3️⃣ Show it with action
Make their coffee, fold their laundry, touch their arm, say thank you with presence.

One genuine moment of appreciation can undo weeks of silent resentment.

So tell me, what’s one thing you appreciate about your partner (or your life) in this moment? 💭l

Address

106 Shirley Avenue
Pretoria
0081

Opening Hours

Monday 09:00 - 17:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 17:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 17:00
Thursday 09:00 - 17:00
Friday 09:00 - 16:00

Telephone

+27836102892

Website

https://www.imago.joburg/SRSRQUIZ

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