Marlize Labuschagne-Educational Psychologist

11/08/2025

I have heard so many different versions of this from my adult autistic clients... SO MANY!!

08/08/2025

🤣

28/07/2025

𝕐𝕠𝕦’𝕣𝕖 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕔𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘...

Then bam!!! A sentence catches you off guard. Your stomach tightens.

Your thoughts start spiralling. Your parts start whispering familiar old stories:
“Say something back!” A fiery Reactive Part rushes in, ready to defend your worth, to argue, to make it fair
“You’re not good enough to speak.” A tender, hidden Insecure Part speaks up, carrying wounds from long ago, afraid of being shamed again.
“Forget it. Shut it all down.” A frozen, overwhelmed Avoidant Part tries to cut the circuit, pulling the plug to avoid more pain.
Self gently enters, offering space, breath, and perspective. Not pushing the parts away, but sitting beside them with compassion. “Pause. This hurts. You’re allowed to feel your feelings before deciding how to react.

𝕀𝔽𝕊 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕕 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤: Sometimes, the scroll taps on old wounds. Not every trigger needs a takedown or a retreat. We don’t need to silence our parts. We can listen to them kindly, let them know we’re here, and choose our next step from calm, not chaos.

28/07/2025

The Learning Hive in Brooklyn, Pretoria, is hiring!
We are looking for a magic unicorn, someone with sparkle and charisma, innovative and out-of-the-box thinking, strong yet compassionate, independent and a team player.

The kids have a history of school trauma and require gentle encouragement, emotional support and nervous system regulation.

Contact Hours:
07h30 to 13h30
No extra-mural activities

If you believe you possess the personality, temperament, and skill set to create some magic, please submit your CV and cover letter to Jo at hello@learninghive.co.za.

The position is available from 1 September 2025.

24/07/2025

23/07/2025

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the 8 C’s and 5 P’s describe the natural qualities of the Self, the calm, compassionate core within each of us.

When we lead our inner world from Self, these qualities begin to shine through, gently guiding how we relate to our parts.

This week we are exploring 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲: 𝐶𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑠ℎ, 𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑥𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑝𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑠.

How does CREATIVITY show up for you?

21/07/2025

ℍ𝕠𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕥𝕒𝕝 𝕧𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕤 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕣 𝕦𝕡 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕤𝕪𝕞𝕡𝕥𝕠𝕞𝕤, 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕣 𝕦𝕡 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤.

You might be there for a blood test, a scan, or an overnight stay... but inside, your parts are having very different experiences:

A Worried Part says, “What if something’s seriously wrong?”
A Minimising Part scolds, “You’re being dramatic. Just suck it up.”
An Overwhelmed Part tries to hide, “This is too much. I want to go home.”
And then Self enters the building, with a suggestion: "I'll sit with all of you. You don't have to do this alone."

𝕀𝔽𝕊 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕕 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤: Sitting in the waiting room, checking in not just with reception, but with your inner world. Noticing the fear, the frustration, the fatigue. Making room for each part that’s stirred by the unknown.

Whether you're there for answers, support, or healing, you don't have to face it alone. Self can be with you. Every part is welcome.

16/07/2025

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the 8 C’s and 5 P’s describe the natural qualities of the Self, the calm, compassionate core within each of us.

When we lead our inner world from Self, these qualities begin to shine through, gently guiding how we relate to our parts.

This week we are exploring 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞: 𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑆𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑑.

How does CONFIDENCE show up for you?

14/07/2025

𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕓𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟𝕤 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕠 𝕒 𝕓𝕠𝕒𝕣𝕕𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕞 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤...

The clock says 2:13am. But inside, it’s already morning-your mind is wide awake and buzzing.

An overthinking part replays every conversation (spoken or in text), scanning for what could have possibly gone wrong.
A resentful part says, “This is the only time I get to think my own thoughts. And they are exhausting!”
A hopeless part sighs, “I've tried everything to fall asleep. Nothing works. Tomorrow is already ruined.”

And then Self shows up, calm, connected, and clear, with a simple, grounded plan:
“Let’s jot one thought down, stretch a little, and rest. We don’t have to fix everything right now.”

𝕀𝔽𝕊 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕚𝕝𝕕 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜𝕤 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤: Noticing the mental spiral without fighting it. Recognising the parts at work. Listening to them with curiosity and meeting them with kindness. Then offering steady leadership in the moment.

💬 What do your parts tend to say when you’re lying awake?

09/07/2025

In Internal Family Systems (IFS), the 8 C’s and 5 P’s describe the natural qualities of the Self, the calm, compassionate core within each of us.

When we lead our inner world from Self, these qualities begin to shine through, gently guiding how we relate to our parts.

This week we are exploring 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲: 𝐶𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑢𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑙𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟.

How does CURIOSITY show up for you?

08/07/2025

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒔𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒘𝒂𝒚
(𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘦𝘳)

On a good day, your nervous system handles life like a smooth highway. There's room to slow down, change lanes, and take the scenic route. A noisy child, a spilt drink, or a deadline might still be annoying, but you can manage it.

But when you’re already stressed, overwhelmed, tired, grieving, or holding too much, your nervous system is more like a congested highway.

There’s a traffic jam. Sirens. Honking. And then…
🔹 Someone casually asks: "What's for dinner?" while you are in the middle of a task (with a deadline)
🔹 You drop a stack of papers on your way from the copier to the office
🔹 Your sock starts creeping down your shoe

Suddenly, it’s all too much! Not because the problem is big, but because your system is already full. There’s no more space. No room to reroute or respond flexibly.

This isn’t a failure. It’s a sign your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s designed to do, keeping you safe from overload.

𝑺𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒑𝒔? Small, gentle practices that help clear the road bit by bit, and take your system from dysregulated to calm, regulated, and with the capacity to deal with small daily stressors.

𝑵𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈.
“I’m not overreacting, I’m overwhelmed.”
Labelling the experience helps reduce shame and reconnect with self-compassion.

𝑫𝒓𝒐𝒑 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒔.
Run cold water over your hands. Feel the ground under your feet. Smell something calming. Sensory grounding helps signal to your body that it's safe to soften.

𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚, 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒔.
Try a slow exhale like you’re blowing through a straw, it tells your nervous system there’s no emergency.

𝑳𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒊𝒏𝒑𝒖𝒕.
Dim the lights. Turn off the radio. Put your phone on silent. Less sensory clutter = less traffic.

𝑻𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒕 𝒂 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆.
Multitasking is like adding more cars to the highway. Choose just one lane, one small task, and gently stay with it.

𝑺𝒆𝒆𝒌 𝒄𝒐-𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.
Talk to someone you trust. Hug your pet. We’re not meant to regulate alone all the time.

And if none of these feel accessible today, that’s okay too. Sometimes, just knowing why everything feels so big is a step toward softening.

Your nervous system isn’t broken. It’s just doing its best in heavy traffic.
Be kind to yourself while you wait for things to clear.