The Counsellor

15/12/2025

Don't let mixed signals fool you.
Indecision is a decision.
The depth of your love as an investment,
is the depth of your hurt later.
Love should be reciprocal.
Interest is a choice.
When someone is unsure, your boat is taking on water.
You should both apply extreme measures to find remedy, if both of you are in it wholeheartedly.

14/12/2025

When Interest Is Real, Effort Is Mutual

Showing interest in someone new can be exciting—fresh energy, new conversations, and the possibility of something meaningful. But one truth remains constant: when the interest is mutual, effort aligns naturally. You won’t have to force conversations, chase replies, or convince someone to make space for you. Genuine connection flows. Consistency feels easy. And communication becomes something both people want, not something one person has to beg for.

Healthy early-stage dynamics are simple:
• Messages are answered within a reasonable time.
• Conversations go both ways.
• Plans are made, not avoided.
• No one is left confused about where they stand.

When someone is just as interested, you feel it—not in grand gestures, but in steady, reciprocal energy.

Warning Signs They’re Playing Games

Not everyone approaches connection with honesty or clarity. Here are the red flags that someone may be playing games, keeping you on the hook, or simply not genuinely interested:

❌ Inconsistent communication
They reply only when it suits them, disappear for days, or send one-word answers that keep you guessing.

❌ Breadcrumbing
They give just enough attention to keep you around but never enough to build anything real.

❌ Hot-and-cold behaviour
One day they’re deeply engaged, the next they’re distant without explanation.

❌ Frequent excuses
There’s always a reason they “can’t talk right now,” “forgot to reply,” or “didn’t see your message.”

❌ No effort to initiate
You’re always the one texting, calling, or trying to meet up.

❌ Mixed signals
Their words say “interested,” but their actions say “maybe… if I feel like it.”

❌ Ego-driven testing
They withhold replies, create tension, or provoke jealousy to see your reaction.

When to Block and Walk Away

You don’t owe unlimited access to anyone who drains your energy or disrespects your time. Block and walk away when:
• Your effort significantly outweighs theirs.
• They repeatedly ignore or minimize your needs.
• You feel anxious more than you feel appreciated.
• You catch yourself overthinking simple things that should be clear.
• You’re being disrespected, manipulated, or emotionally toyed with.
• You’ve communicated your expectations—and nothing changes.

Walking away doesn’t mean you’re bitter or impatient. It means you value yourself enough to choose peace over confusion, and authenticity over games.

The Bottom Line

Someone genuinely interested in you won’t make you question it.
They’ll show up.
They’ll communicate.
They’ll match your energy.
And they’ll make the early connection feel safe, natural, and exciting—not stressful or uncertain.

If you have to force effort, you’re forcing interest—and that’s your cue to let go.

Copyright The Counsellor

13/12/2025

We are all dealing with something we do not talk about.

Behind polished resumes, confident conversations, and carefully curated lives, many of us are quietly navigating challenges that remain unseen. Perhaps it is grief that has not yet found words. Fear that feels too vulnerable to share. Shame born from believing we should be stronger, further ahead, or more in control than we feel. Or perhaps it is simply the reality that we are not yet ready to face what hurts.

Adversity rarely announces itself. More often, it settles in quietly—disguised as exhaustion, self-doubt, impatience, or silence. In professional environments especially, we are conditioned to perform, to produce, and to persevere. Strength is applauded; struggle is often hidden. Yet the truth is that resilience is not the absence of difficulty—it is the ongoing decision to continue despite it.

What we forget is that carrying something alone does not mean we are weak. It means we are human. There are seasons in life when survival itself is an achievement, even if progress feels slow or invisible. In those moments, showing up—however imperfectly—can be an act of quiet courage.

Adversity reshapes us. It clarifies what matters, tests our values, and often deepens our capacity for empathy. Those who have faced hardship tend to listen more closely, lead more thoughtfully, and act with greater compassion. While no one would willingly choose hardship, many emerge from it with a sharper sense of purpose and a stronger understanding of themselves.

If you are currently battling something in silence, know this: you are not alone, even if it feels that way. There is no timeline for healing, no standard for readiness, and no obligation to explain your journey to anyone. Strength is not measured by how well you hide your struggles, but by your willingness—when the time is right—to confront them.

And if you are in a position to notice others, choose kindness. The colleague who seems distant, the friend who has gone quiet, the leader who appears uncharacteristically guarded—each may be carrying a weight you cannot see. A moment of understanding can make a lasting difference.

Whatever it is that you are facing, I sincerely hope you win. Not just in the sense of overcoming, but in finding peace, clarity, and self-compassion along the way. Some victories are loud and visible. Others are deeply personal and profoundly meaningful.

All of them count.

13/12/2025

True love requires healthy communication aswell as considerable amount of effort in understanding. Your relationship should be a safe place where you can be honest and vulnerable. But that all falls apart when you feel unheard, judged or not understood.

12/12/2025

11/12/2025

Know your worth and keep improving on that.
Pay no mind to gossip, as it usually stems from jealousy and hate.

10/12/2025

When Interest Is Real, Effort Is Mutual

Showing interest in someone new can be exciting—fresh energy, new conversations, and the possibility of something meaningful. But one truth remains constant: when the interest is mutual, effort aligns naturally. You won’t have to force conversations, chase replies, or convince someone to make space for you. Genuine connection flows. Consistency feels easy. And communication becomes something both people want, not something one person has to beg for.

Healthy early-stage dynamics are simple:
• Messages are answered within a reasonable time.
• Conversations go both ways.
• Plans are made, not avoided.
• No one is left confused about where they stand.

When someone is just as interested, you feel it—not in grand gestures, but in steady, reciprocal energy.

⸻

Warning Signs They’re Playing Games

Not everyone approaches connection with honesty or clarity. Here are the red flags that someone may be playing games, keeping you on the hook, or simply not genuinely interested:

❌ Inconsistent communication
They reply only when it suits them, disappear for days, or send one-word answers that keep you guessing.

❌ Breadcrumbing
They give just enough attention to keep you around but never enough to build anything real.

❌ Hot-and-cold behaviour
One day they’re deeply engaged, the next they’re distant without explanation.

❌ Frequent excuses
There’s always a reason they “can’t talk right now,” “forgot to reply,” or “didn’t see your message.”

❌ No effort to initiate
You’re always the one texting, calling, or trying to meet up.

❌ Mixed signals
Their words say “interested,” but their actions say “maybe… if I feel like it.”

❌ Ego-driven testing
They withhold replies, create tension, or provoke jealousy to see your reaction.

⸻

When to Block and Walk Away

You don’t owe unlimited access to anyone who drains your energy or disrespects your time. Block and walk away when:
• Your effort significantly outweighs theirs.
• They repeatedly ignore or minimize your needs.
• You feel anxious more than you feel appreciated.
• You catch yourself overthinking simple things that should be clear.
• You’re being disrespected, manipulated, or emotionally toyed with.
• You’ve communicated your expectations—and nothing changes.

Walking away doesn’t mean you’re bitter or impatient. It means you value yourself enough to choose peace over confusion, and authenticity over games.

⸻

The Bottom Line

Someone genuinely interested in you won’t make you question it.
They’ll show up.
They’ll communicate.
They’ll match your energy.
And they’ll make the early connection feel safe, natural, and exciting—not stressful or uncertain.

If you have to force effort, you’re forcing interest—and that’s your cue to let go. ©️

09/12/2025

A partnership is not 50/50.
It’s 100/100 or nothing.
You can’t give 50% and expect 100 in turn.

08/12/2025

S*x is a very important pillar of a healthy relationship - but it's not everything.
Dont lend out your body as if it's a public toilet. Save it for someone that will respect that you do.

08/12/2025

10 SNEAKY WAYS PEOPLE USE TO MANIPULATE YOU.

1. LOVE BOMBING:
flooding you with affection to gain control.

2. GASLIGHTING:
Making your doubt your reality.

3. SILENT TREATMENT:
Ignoring you to make you feel guilty.

4. GUILT TRIPPING:
Making you feel responsible for their emotions.

5. PLAYING THE VICTIM:
Always being the one who is wronged.

6. FUTURE FAKING:
Promising a future that never comes.

7. TRIANGULATION:
Using others to make you jealous.

8. BLAME SHIFTING:
Turning the table to make you the problem.

9. WITHHOLDING AFFECTION:
Using love as a weapon.

10. MINIMIZING FEELINGS:
Dismissing your reactions as over reacting.

Be mindful of manipulative people who paint themselves as victims, blame others, and refuse to take any responsibility for their wrongdoing.

07/12/2025

Your inability to trust or accept support from others is a trauma response.

Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning, is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, rejection, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.

From the parent who was absent and abandoned you.

From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honored your heart.

From the friendships and family who took more and never gave.

From all the situations where someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you”, just to then abandon you.

From all the lies and all the betrayals.

You conditioned yourself along the way, to go without easily trust people.

Total independence is not conducive to a healthy social acceptance of others’ want to be in your life.

There’s nothing wrong with being self-reliant, alas you cannot live like an island. We all need support at some time in life. We need healthy interactions with others or you’ll become a recluse and lose your grasp on reality.

To trust is to be vulnerable and people will always disappoint us, but only if we trust with expectation. Don’t accept You from others, nobody has your heart.

Just learn to trust your gut snd instinct. Keep healthy boundaries but allow others to see who you are.
You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart healed.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.
You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.

You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.

Allow the good in and reject what is disrupting your peace. ©️

07/12/2025

Be kind
Be fair
Be honest
Be respectful
Tomorrow is never promised