11/09/2025
When Women Are the Perpetrators: Reframing Gender-Based Violence, Supporting Male Victims, and Building Practical Pathways Out
- Written by Dr Lynne McCarthy
Full paper with resources available here - https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Lynne-Mccarthy-2
Public discourse, policy, and funding for GBV have rightly prioritized protection of women because they face higher rates of severe violence and femicide. Yet the pattern of male victims of female-perpetrated IPV is both real and consequential. Men who experience abuse face unique barriers: social stigma, disbelief, under-resourced services, and clinical misrecognition. These barriers worsen mental-health outcomes and obstruct safe exits.
Key surveillance and review data indicate that a sizable minority of IPV victims are men. For instance, U.S. surveillance indicates that roughly one in ten men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime, and broader estimates show substantial variation depending on measures used. These epidemiological findings are accompanied by recent qualitative and systematic work documenting the lived experiences and barriers encountered by male victims.
Prevalence, definitions and measurement caveats
Prevalence
Population estimates vary by method (criminal justice reports, population surveys, help-seeking samples). The CDC and national surveys find that significant proportions of men report lifetime experiences of IPV (physical, sexual, stalking), but prevalence of severe injury and lethal violence remains higher among women. Surveys and crime victimization studies provide different figures; meta-analyses and systematic reviews show that measurement choice (self-report scales, behaviourally specific items, time frames) shapes prevalence estimates.
Important measurement caveat
Some instruments capture “mutual” or “bidirectional” partner aggression (both partners use some physical acts), while others focus on coercive control and injury. Research indicates that women are more likely to report fear and coercive control in victimisation measures, even where both partners report acts of aggression. Therefore, prevalence numbers alone cannot substitute for nuanced clinical and forensic assessment of severity, intent, context, and consequences.
Typologies, drivers and contexts of female-perpetrated IPV
Research identifies several overlapping contexts where women perpetrate physical violence against male partners:
• Defensive or reactive violence: some instances arise in response to partner aggression or imminent threat.
• Instrumental violence within escalation dynamics: violence used to achieve control in a relationship or to coerce compliance.
• Mutual or situational couple violence: conflicts escalate to reciprocal physical acts without a primary pattern of control.
• Psychopathology, substance use, or severe emotional dysregulation: individual mental-health conditions or intoxication can precipitate violent acts.
• Situations with coercive control by women: though less common in research on coercive control, some studies show women sometimes exercise controlling behaviours that include physical coercion.
Qualitative studies of men who seek help emphasize complexity: many describe repeated, controlling patterns; others report single episodes of severe assault; some experienced both partner violence and their own use of force. Risk factors for female perpetration mirror those for males (history of childhood trauma, substance misuse, relationship stressors) but operate within gendered social contexts.
Psychological, physical, and social impacts on male victims
Male victims experience a wide range of harms — physical injury, chronic pain, sleep disturbance, anxiety disorders, depression, PTSD symptoms, substance misuse, suicidality, and social isolation. Importantly:
• Psychological effects: fear, hypervigilance, shame, confusion about gender roles, and loss of identity as a “protector” can compound trauma. Men often internalize stigma and minimization, delaying help-seeking and increasing psychological morbidity.
• Barriers to disclosure and help-seeking: social stigma, fear of not being believed, limited male-specific services, and concerns about child custody or false allegations create high thresholds to reporting. These barriers lead many men to present in primary care, emergency departments, or not at all.
• Legal and systemic consequences: some male victims encounter criminal justice responses that do not accurately capture mutuality or coercive patterns, or they face misdirected charges when self-defence is involved. The unequal distribution of resources and the gendered design of many services produce practical and psychological harms for male victims.
Why services and policy must be gender-inclusive (not gender-neutral)
Advocacy and policy must simultaneously (a) continue prioritizing protection for women (who experience greater lethality and severe coercive control), and (b) ensure systems can recognise and respond to male victims. Gender-inclusive response frameworks improve screening, reduce barriers to disclosure, and enhance forensic and clinical care for all victims without diluting efforts to address violence against women. Effective practice is not “either/or”; it’s about tailoring responses to the lived reality of the victim and the risk profile of the perpetrator(s).
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The clinician and practitioner’s checklist: how to assess and document female-perpetrated IPV
Accurate documentation matters for safety planning, healthcare, and legal processes. The following is a detailed, practical checklist for clinicians, advocates, and frontline responders.
A. Immediate safety assessment (first contact)
• Private, trauma-informed interview: ensure nobody present who might intimidate the person. Ask with neutral, behaviourally specific language (e.g., “Has your partner ever hit, slapped, choked, or forced you to have sex?”). Limit questions to what is necessary for safety and care.
• Assess imminent danger: weapons in the home, escalation patterns, recent strangulation, suicidal ideation, threats about children or employment. If present, prioritise immediate safety plan and emergency referral.
• Medical triage: treat injuries, document findings, screen for head injury and strangulation (high risk for delayed serious effects).
B. Documentation best practices (for medical records and legal evidence)
• Use neutral, objective language in notes (no editorialising). Record verbatim statements when possible, in quotation marks.
• Detailed injury mapping: describe size, shape, colour, location, and age estimate of wounds; use body maps; photograph injuries with date/time stamps (with consent). State who took the photo and where it is stored. Photographs are powerful forensic evidence.
• For strangulation or non-visible injuries: document symptoms (voice changes, difficulty breathing, sore throat, petechiae), and consider referral for forensic evaluation.
• Collect contemporaneous corroborating records: medical reports, prescriptions, police incident numbers, text messages, emails, social-media posts, damaged property photos, witness statements. Certified copies are often required for court.
• Chain of custody: if physical evidence is collected, follow local protocols to preserve evidence integrity for legal proceedings.
C. Screening tools & assessment instruments
• Use validated, behaviourally specific screening tools to identify IPV. Remember single screening items may miss coercive control and psychological abuse. Incorporate risk assessment tools where available, and consult forensic or domestic-violence teams for high-risk cases. Taylor & Francis Online
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Step-by-step guidance for victims: documenting the violence, building an exit plan, and accessing legal & mental-health support
Below is a practical, survivor-centred roadmap. It assumes safety is the priority — if you are in immediate danger, call emergency services or a crisis line first.
1. Documenting the abuse — immediate actions (safety first)
• If safe, create a secure record: keep a hidden physical notebook, secure cloud folder, or encrypted document with dated entries describing each incident (what happened, injuries, witnesses, and exact quotes). Avoid accessing these records where the partner might see them.
• Photograph injuries and property damage as soon as possible; save photos with timestamps and back them up to a secure cloud account not accessible to the partner. Consider emailing photos to a trusted friend or lawyer so there is another copy.
• Collect digital evidence: save threatening texts, emails, social-media messages, voice mails, and call logs. Use screenshots and create a file with metadata where possible. Remember that some jurisdictions require certified copies for court — keep originals where feasible.
• Medical documentation: seek medical care for injuries and request a copy of medical records. Ask the clinician to document the injuries and their likely cause. If sexual violence occurred, seek forensic/sexual assault services promptly.
• Police reporting: decide whether to file a police report (weigh safety and legal considerations). If you file, obtain the incident number and officer name, and request copies of the police report. If police response is poor, record the encounter and consider seeking a lawyer or victim-advocate support.
2. Safety and exit planning
• Develop a safety plan: identify safe spaces in the home, plan escape routes, prepare an “escape bag” with ID, money, keys, medications, copies of critical documents, and a charged phone. Memorise emergency numbers. If children or pets are involved, incorporate them into the plan.
• Confide in a trusted person: tell someone you trust who can provide immediate help or a safe place. If disclosure is difficult, reach out to a confidential helpline. Helplines can provide immediate risk assessment and shelter referrals.
• Timing and logistics: when planning to leave, pick a time when the partner is away or asleep, and avoid telling them in advance. Consider hotels, shelters, or staying with friends/family.
Do not forget digital security: change passwords and disable location services if the partner may track devices.
3. Legal support and remedies
• Preserve evidence (as above) and consult a lawyer or legal advocacy service experienced in domestic-violence cases. Many jurisdictions have victim services that can assist with protection orders, custody issues, and navigation of criminal proceedings.
• Protection orders / restraining orders: learn local thresholds and processes. Many jurisdictions allow emergency orders; others require evidence of imminent risk. Legal advocates can help prepare affidavits and evidence packages.
• Criminal reporting vs civil remedies: understand options — criminal charges may be pursued by the state; civil remedies (restraining orders, damage claims) require different evidence standards. Counsel can advise on the pros/cons given your circumstances.
• Child custody considerations: if children are involved, be prepared for custody hearings where allegations from both sides may be scrutinised. Meticulous documentation and witness statements help establish patterns of behaviour.
4. Mental-health support and recovery
• Immediate psychological support: crisis hotlines can provide emotional first aid and referrals. Consider seeking an assessment with a mental-health professional experienced in trauma and IPV. Cognitive-behavioural approaches, trauma-focused therapy, and group support have evidence for reducing PTSD and depression symptoms.
• Tailored therapy: men may benefit from trauma-informed therapies that address shame, identity, and help-seeking barriers. Where substance use or anger issues are present, integrated treatment plans are important.
• Peer support: men’s domestic-violence helplines and peer groups provide validation and practical guidance; connecting with other survivors reduces isolation. Examples include Men’s Advice Line and Mankind Initiative (UK), as well as national helplines in other countries.
Systemic and practice recommendations (for policymakers, funders, and service providers)
1. Expand commissioning for gender-inclusive services: fund shelters, counselling, and legal aid accessible to all genders. Ensure shelters can safely accommodate male victims or provide tailored alternatives.
2. Train first responders and clinicians: routine IPV screening must be trauma-informed and gender-inclusive; clinicians should be trained to identify strangulation, non-visible injuries, and coercive dynamics in male victims.
3. Improve data collection: harmonise surveillance instruments to capture context (mutuality, coercive control, injury severity) to better inform policy.
4. Promote public awareness: destigmatise male help-seeking through campaigns and visible pathways to support.
5. Support research: invest in rigorous longitudinal and mixed-methods studies on female-perpetrated IPV, service engagement barriers, and intervention efficacy.
Ethical considerations and avoiding misuse of evidence
Discussing female-perpetrated IPV must not be used to dismiss or minimise women’s disproportionate harms from IPV or to divert resources away from women’s safety. The intent is evidence-based inclusion: improve responses for all victims, sharpen clinical assessments, and ensure perpetrators of any gender are held accountable. Policies must be proportionate and rooted in rigorous data about risk and lethality.
Conclusion
Female-perpetrated IPV is a complex, diverse phenomenon requiring nuanced clinical assessment, robust documentation practices, and gender-inclusive service design. Male victims face real harms and systemic barriers; practical, evidence-informed steps — documenting injuries, creating safety and exit plans, securing legal counsel, and engaging trauma-informed mental health services — can materially improve safety and recovery. Policymakers and service providers must adapt systems so that every victim receives timely, competent, and compassionate support.
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About the author
Dr. Lynne McCarthy completed her post-grad doctorate in 2015, her thesis based on Human Behavioural Psychology, progress and the problem of reflexivity, a study in the epistemological foundations of psychology. Neuro semantic, (CBT) Cognitive behavioural therapy, (IPT) Interpersonal psychotherapy, NLP counsellor.
Original research papers - https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Lynne-Mccarthy-2
Full paper with resources available here:
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/395409571_When_Women_Are_the_Perpetrators_Reframing_Gender-Based_Violence_Supporting_Male_Victims_and_Building_Practical_Pathways_Out
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