Nandhi Du Plooy Clinical Psychologist

Nandhi Du Plooy Clinical Psychologist Psychotherapy and Psycho-Legal/Forensic Assessments. Psycho-education and motivational talks.

28/03/2026

28/03/2026
28/03/2026




28/03/2026

"Anhedonia is not emptiness—it’s what’s left after joy is repeatedly punished."

It’s not a blank space where feeling once lived, but a quiet residue forged in the wake of countless small and large betrayals of one’s own capacity to delight. Each time laughter was met with scorn, each moment of excitement was undercut by criticism, each celebration was turned into a competition or dismissed as trivial—these acts do not simply erase pleasure, they carve it away layer by layer. What remains is not nothingness, but a cautious, hardened landscape where the very pathways to joy have been sealed off as a defense. It is the body and mind’s quiet surrender to survival: if feeling good brings pain, then feeling nothing becomes the only way to stay safe. The world does not lose its capacity to bring delight; the victim loses their ability to reach for it, because every memory of joy is now tangled with the memory of the punishment that followed.

22/02/2026
12/02/2026

An obsession with cleanliness is often linked to narcissistic abuse, and this is why…
When you’ve lived through narcissistic abuse, your world often felt unpredictable, unstable, and unsafe. A narcissist thrives on creating chaos—emotionally, mentally, and even physically—because the more confusion they cause, the more control they maintain over you. In that environment, you’re constantly walking on eggshells, never knowing what version of them you’ll get or what small action might trigger an explosion. Over time, this teaches your nervous system to always be on high alert, searching for ways to minimize conflict and keep some sense of order in the middle of the storm.

This is where cleanliness and control come in. For many survivors, cleaning and organizing become more than just chores—they become coping mechanisms. Every clean surface, every neatly arranged drawer, every carefully controlled space offers a sense of calm and predictability that was missing during the abuse. It’s a way to tell yourself, “Here, I am safe. Here, I decide what stays and what goes. Here, I am in control.” What might look like a simple habit of tidiness to outsiders often holds a much deeper meaning for survivors.

The spotless home becomes symbolic—it’s not just about dust and clutter; it’s about reclaiming power where power was once stripped away. It’s about healing through structure, about soothing a traumatized nervous system, and about creating an environment where peace replaces chaos. It may look like “obsession” to some, but for survivors, it is survival—it is the body and mind’s way of saying, “Never again will I live in that kind of disorder.”

Cleanliness, for many survivors, is not about perfection. It’s about freedom. It’s about creating a sanctuary where their inner world can finally breathe.

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Pretoria

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