What are the opening hours?

Monday 09:00 - 17:00 Tuesday 08:00 - 18:00 Wednesday 08:00 - 18:00 Thursday 08:00 - 18:00 Friday 08:00 - 18:00

Mariaan de Vos Ed Psych

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South Africa
Pretoria
Mariaan de Vos Ed Psych

Psychologist that specializes in trauma

29/10/2020

To all the students who feel a bit overwhelmed with the upcoming examinations. Join this free online session for some tips on how to cope/deal with exam stress.

05/10/2020

Not everyone understands this, but if you do. I am sorry. Just know that you are not alone. You are loved.

Today's Inktober cue is, Blade. I want to bring awareness about self-harming behaviour. The latest statistics show that approximately 10% of young people self-harm. Remember, self-harm isn’t a su***de attempt or a cry for attention.

However, it can be a way for some people to cope with overwhelming and distressing thoughts or feelings. Self-harm should be taken seriously, whatever the reason behind it. If you struggle with self-harming behaviour, please reach out. There are many ways to support you to develop healthier coping skills.

04/10/2020

During the month of October I will create an artwork a day for Inktober, but the focus will be on mental health awareness and tips. Creating art is therapy in itself.

Did you know that looking at fish can reduce your anxiety? Studies have shown that children who have fish tanks portray less disruptive behaviour. Keeping fish and caring for them is a great way to improve your mental health.

16/09/2020

If you have suicidal thoughts, please reach out. There is support and people who care. ***deprevention ***deawarness

17/08/2020

Looking forward to sharing information with you on this great conference. Started with 's Wheel of Awareness. Learning some nice practical skills for my therapy toolbox.

16/08/2020

The Adult ego state (rooted in the present). This ego state reflects our ability to think and act based on what’s happening in the here and now.
Think of transactions you have with colleagues or acquaintances. These are usually pretty straightforward, without a lot of emotional triggers.

A good way to know if your Adult ego state is activated is to examine whether your questions/comments are fueled by compassion and curiosity, or the desire to blame, criticize or prove a point.

Becoming more aware of your different ego states and how they affect your interpersonal interactions. This will allow you to become more mindful of the different ego states and to no longer be stuck in subconscious patterns.

14/08/2020

This ego state is made up of archaic feelings, attitudes and behaviours which are remnants of an individual's childhood. While external events are being recorded as the body of data called The Parent, the internal events (responses of the little person to what he sees and hears) are recorded in The Child. Since the little child does not really have a developed vocabulary most of his early experiences are recorded as feelings.

In Adulthood, when the person is faced with difficult situations it could transport him back to his childhood feelings of frustration, anger or rejection as the child in him replays repressed emotions. The people around have changed but the feelings of helplessness, anger and disappointment are the same. It’s a play out of old feelings that were imbibed during development.

The child also has happy emotions recorded — like the first time he played in mud, got wet in the rain, cuddled a pet, etc. Creativity and curiosity both come from the child in us.

Take time to recall a situation where you responded just the way you would when you were a little child. For example: In childhood, when your parents scolded you, would you sulk for hours because you didn’t have permission to express your anger at them? Or, would you shout back at them? Either way, is this the same way you respond when you get angry with others today? If so, this is an example of your Child Ego State.

13/08/2020

This ego state is a set of feelings, attitudes and behaviours taken from the parents and other significant parental figures in the environment.

The parent is a vast collection of recordings in the brain as perceived by the individual in roughly first five years of life. Everything the child saw his parents say or do is recorded in the parent. This data is taken in directly without any editing or questioning. In these early life experiences children do not question any experiences, because the prefrontal cortex is still developing in terms of complex processing. So parental prejudices, preferences, decisions are taken into the child’s belief system and sit in a state of being called the Parent.

If parents, amongst themselves, don’t have consistent views then the recordings in the child are weakened leading to a fragmented parent. In this case, since the data recorded from both parents is not in harmony, it doesn’t prove to be a strong positive influence in the child’s life. There is more confusion rather than a strong
sense of direction.

These recordings are not just from parents. The parent ego state also has information learnt from older siblings, teachers and other figures of authority. Much of the parent data appears in the ‘how to’ category. Basically, how to make a meal, how to respond to people, how to shake hands, how to live life. The parent ego state contains thousands of rules, most fortified with never and always.

Take a moment to think of one behaviour you have in response to a given situation that exactly matches either of your parents. For example, if one of your parents habitually reprimanded offenders in a loud voice, in a similar situation would you do the same? If so, then that is an example of your Parent Ego State.

Observe yourself, take time to connect with your Parent ego state. Remember, this ego state is a subconscious pattern. By becoming more aware of these responses you are consciously able to rewire these states.

12/08/2020

Whenever we work with different ego states, it relates to patterns of emotions and behaviours that relates back to your past. The term "ego" is Latin for "I". Different ego states simply refers to different parts of yourself. The ego also creates different narratives to make sense of past experiences.

Often our emotional triggers induce certain ego states. Take time to connect with yourself and identify possible triggers to certain emotional states (parent, adult, child).

10/08/2020

This week we will look at transactional analysis(TA) psychotherapy and how the different ego states have an impact on our interpersonal interactions. According to TA, when we unpack our interactions we will be able to identify the different ego states. Take a moment to unpack the last interpersonal interaction you had. Try to identify the influence of the different ego states.

09/08/2020

This week we focused on the ANS and the different responses to threats and perceived threats. These resources are quite helpful to consult when investigating various therapeutic approaches and useful additional information.

As a psychologist, I make use various therapeutic approaches when working with clients. This allows me to work making use of a client-centred approach.

Take time to read up about these different approaches to inform yourself.

08/08/2020

More recently identified by mental health specialists, a “fawn” response is brought about by the attempt to avoid conflict and trauma by appeasing people. For children, this can be defined as a need to be a “good kid” in order to escape mistreatment by an abusive or neglectful parent. As an adult, this means that in relationships you are consistently ignoring your own needs, values, and boundaries to conform to what you believe others expect of you.

It may be difficult at first to determine if fawning is your innate response to protecting yourself from trauma. Here are a few key signs of fawning:

1. Inability to say no (struggle with boundaries)

2. You feel guilty when you feel angry

3. You feel responsible for other people's reactions

4. You compromise your values for the sake of others

5. You apologise for EVERYTHING

6. You can't really say what you think or feel

7. Everyone's needs matter more than your own

Do you identify with the fight, flight, freeze or fawn response?

Address

Pretoria
0081

Opening Hours

Monday	09:00 - 17:00
Tuesday	08:00 - 18:00
Wednesday	08:00 - 18:00
Thursday	08:00 - 18:00
Friday	08:00 - 18:00

Telephone

+27658500373

Website

http://Mariaandevos.co.za/

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