Kobus van der Merwe - Imago Relationship Therapy

Kobus van der Merwe - Imago Relationship Therapy Transform your relationship! Imago Therapist with 24 years experience! Reduce conflict by 90%. Easy to follow processes and practical relationship tools.

Embedded in clinical research and training. Range of services available to suit your needs How can Imago help your relationship? Imago..... A new way to love

• Are you currently in a troubled relationship?
• Are you wondering what happened to the relationship that you started with?
• Wouldn't you like to rediscover the relationship you once had and make it last forever?
• Maybe you’re in a new relationship or you’re part of a couple preparing for marriage and your desire is to create a true relationship that will stand the test of time.
• Perhaps you’re single and simply tired of getting into relationships that never seem to meet your expectations. People believe that when they’re in a loving relationship, it is supposed to last forever. Two people feel like they've met the person of their dreams and a magical transformation takes place within each of them. During the “in love” phase, people feel alive, whole, connected to the world and the people in it. Very often though, the magical “in love” feeling disappears and people are left disillusioned. Their dreams of a perfect relationship are shattered, and feelings of anger and betrayal often overwhelm those who are faced with reality. People often try to coerce their partners into giving them what they need in the relationship, through tactics like criticism, withdrawing from emotional attachment, shaming each other, intimidating partners, and using tears and crying as a method of manipulation – even if it’s unconscious. Some couples are locked in these painful power struggles for years, until the relationship is eventually broken or when one member of the partnership finally seeks help, desperate to regain the magic that the relationship once held. If these scenarios describe the relationship you are currently in, and you would like to restore some of the passion an intimacy you once had, or you are an individual looking to find the love of your life, Imago can show you a new way to love.

"Planning your December getaway? You're probably imagining lazy beach days, sundowners with a view, and that blissful fe...
25/11/2025

"Planning your December getaway? You're probably imagining lazy beach days, sundowners with a view, and that blissful feeling of finally switching off.

But if you've been on a couples holiday before, you know the truth: Day One starts with someone wanting to unpack systematically while the other heads straight for the pool. By Day Three, you're arguing about whether that missed GPS turn was "mentioned three times already" or if someone is "just bad at navigating."

Sound familiar? 🙈

Here's what most couples don't realize: holiday fights aren't about logistics. They're about two people with different nervous systems trying to relax in completely different ways—and neither one stopping to actually *say* what they need.

One person needs order to feel calm. The other needs freedom to feel free. One wants to capture every moment. The other just wants to *be* in the moment. Neither is wrong. But without a simple conversation, you end up in a silent standoff by the Plett beach, both convinced the other person is deliberately ruining your holiday.

The fix? Surprisingly simple. Before you even leave your accommodation each morning, spend two minutes doing this: Each person says one thing they need that day. Then you repeat back what your partner said—not sarcastically, but genuinely.

"I need one morning to sleep past 8." "I need to see at least one thing that isn't this couch."

Suddenly, you've got a plan. Sleep in tomorrow. Explore today. Everyone lives.

It's not rocket science. It's just communication—the kind that acknowledges your partner's needs are as valid as your own, even when they're different.

Want the full survival guide? Read more here: https://imagorelationship.co.za/how-to-survive-december-holiday-without-breaking-up/

You're lying in bed next to your partner, but you might as well be oceans apart. 💔 They reached for your hand earlier, a...
21/11/2025

You're lying in bed next to your partner, but you might as well be oceans apart. 💔 They reached for your hand earlier, and you pulled away—not because you don't love them, but because some voice inside whispered, "You don't deserve this." Or maybe you spent the entire evening criticizing how they loaded the dishwasher, knowing even as the words left your mouth that this isn't really about the dishes. Here's what most couples don't realize: the most painful relationship patterns aren't really about your partner. They're about a quiet war you're waging with yourself—one you often don't even know you're fighting. Self-hatred rarely announces itself clearly. It disguises itself as perfectionism, self-sacrifice, or protective withdrawal. It tells you that you need to earn love through constant giving, or that your needs are burdensome, or that if your partner really knew you, they'd leave. And it shows up in three devastating ways: ✨ The Over-Giver: You believe you're only valuable for what you do, so you give and give until you're exhausted and resentful. You've trained your partner not to see your needs because you keep swallowing them. ✨ The Critic: You focus relentlessly on your partner's flaws so you don't have to face your own. Criticism becomes a wall against the intimacy that terrifies you—because being truly seen feels dangerous when you believe you're fundamentally unacceptable. ✨ The Withdrawer: You go quiet during conflict, retreat into your phone, make yourself small. You're not keeping the peace—you're avoiding the exposure that comes with showing your real feelings and needs. But here's the hope: when you recognize these patterns and bring them into the light with your partner, everything can shift. Real transformation happens through simple practices like noticing your inner narrative, naming your protective patterns out loud, and creating dialogues where you witness each other's journey toward self-acceptance. Your relationship can become a sanctuary where two people practice the revolutionary act of coming home to themselves and each other. 💕 Read the full article to discover five powerful practices that can help you stop abandoning yourself in the name of love. [Link] read more https://imagorelationship.co.za/when-you-turn-against-yourself-in-love/

19/11/2025

Worried this pattern will break you? Repair is learned, not luck. Spend a focused weekend learning the skills that keep love strong—especially under stress. Afrikaans Couples Workshop: Sat 2 Nov (early-bird ends 31 Oct). English Couples Workshop: Thu–Sat 5–7 Dec. Seats limited. Book today: https://imagorelationship.co.za/workshops/

Ever feel the tension in a room after a fight? That's real. 🌊 Imago Therapy reveals the Space-Between—the living field y...
13/11/2025

Ever feel the tension in a room after a fight? That's real. 🌊 Imago Therapy reveals the Space-Between—the living field you and your partner co-create with every interaction. Every word, glance, and gesture either heals or harms this invisible space you both inhabit. Tonight's practice: Ask yourselves, "Did we feed it safety or fear today?" Then commit to one small act tomorrow—a hug, a breath before reacting, a genuine appreciation. You're not trying to change each other. You're becoming conscious gardeners of the relationship itself. The Space-Between is alive. And so is your power to heal it. ✨ read more https://imagorelationship.co.za/the-space-between-us-is-alive-4/

13/11/2025

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05/11/2025

Talking at each other? Shift to a dialogue that guarantees turn-taking, deep listening, and real understanding. Less exhaustion, more intimacy. Afrikaans Couples Workshop: Sat 2 Nov (early-bird ends 31 Oct). English Couples Workshop: Thu–Sat 5–7 Dec. Book now: https://imagorelationship.co.za/workshops/

29/10/2025

When bodies are tense, hearts close. Learn simple co-regulation (breath, pacing, eye softening) and a dialogue that keeps both of you safe enough to connect. Afrikaans Couples Workshop: Sat 2 Nov (early-bird ends 31 Oct). English Couples Workshop: Thu–Sat 5–7 Dec. Save your spot: https://imagorelationship.co.za/workshops/

Address

218 Cornus Street, LaMontagne
Pretoria
0084

Opening Hours

Monday 15:00 - 19:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 19:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 19:00
Thursday 09:00 - 19:00
Friday 09:00 - 16:00

Telephone

+27815599130

Website

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