Success4U - Learner Assistant

Success4U - Learner Assistant Helping overwhelmed kids & parents with practical advice and encouragement.

Valuable advice. Life has many ways to disappoint: How to react in that moment? keeping quiet in the moment speek much l...
26/08/2025

Valuable advice. Life has many ways to disappoint: How to react in that moment? keeping quiet in the moment speek much louder.Hold ur child. Love them.

When our children are upset, the instinct is to rush in with words. We explain, we reason, we try to fix.

We want the lesson to land so badly that we forget this: in the height of big emotions, their brain isn’t open for business.

A child in distress can’t take in logic. Their nervous system is flooded, sounding alarms, searching first for safety.

And safety isn’t found in lectures — it’s found in presence. In a calm voice. In steady arms. In the sense that I am not alone in this storm.

When we hold them — without rushing to correct or control — we’re doing more than comforting. We’re helping their nervous system regulate, showing them what it feels like to move from chaos back to calm.

Only once that storm has passed will they be able to hear the wisdom we so urgently want to give.

Connection first, correction later.

Because children don’t learn best from explanations given at full volume of emotion. They learn best when they feel safe enough to listen.

So when your child is upset: hold your child. Hold your tongue. Hold the space.

The words can wait. The love cannot. ❤️

Quote Credit: ❣️

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10/06/2025

Exams can really impact your confidence.
I am here today to tell you. Do not give up!
Everyone, you included, got the ingredients to be successful.

How to pass your test:
Read - understand - visualize - study - recap - rest

PS: Important
DO NOT USE SCREENS DURING BREAKS ! IT WILL CANCEL ALL UR HARD WORK.
DRINK ENOUGH WATER. SUGAR IS BAD FOR MEMORY.
LEAVE UR PHONE UNLESS PLAYING CALMING MUSIC AT BEDTIME

3 Steps.

Step 1: Belief that you can do it.
step 2: Then plan how you are going to achieve it.
Step 3: Execute your plan.

You are capable and your potential is ready to become reality.

Step 2: Planning is important.
If you left it for last minute. Do not just then give up. You can still achieve a good result.

Planning:
Example. Your exam is tomorrow: You have 4-5 hours.
You have the list of things you need to study.
Now break it down topic by topic. Allocating a time limit on understanding it and then memorizing the topic.

Sessions : Depending on the size of the topic.
This can vary from 10 min - 25min sessions with 5 minute break for easier/shorter topics to 10-15 minute breaks in between larger/harder topics/chapters.

Step 3 : Read - understand - visualize - study - recap - rest

10 minutes: Reading with understanding and then visualizing what the information is trying to convey.
3 minute break.
2 minute : Close your eyes and see the image of the concept.
Breath in and out: Stay calm.
10 Minutes: Recap - Study and learn the points you need to get the marks for the concept/question.

After the 4th session: 30 minute break. Have a snack. walk around. do a few jumping jacks.

Repeat session 1 - 4 then take an hour break.

Good luck and best wishes.

25/07/2024

Can u resonate with the meaning/word,

L I S T E N ?

When last did someone really HEAR YOU?

When last did you really LISTEN ATTENTIVELY to your child or to your partner?

I know life is busy. But THIS IS IMPORTANT!
Don't wait for regret when it's too late.

PRIORITIZE TO REALLY LISTEN QUIETLY!!! ( Just listening , just hearing )

I don't have to quote science % .

Many mariages break up because they have felt their partner couldn't/didn't/wasn't HEARING their ❤️ Heart.

How many Kids kill themselves because no one cared to HEAR their cry for help/ or didn't feel they were important enough for anyone to LISTEN to them, REALLY HEAR THEM.
....endless examples....

Please make the time to LISTEN, the rewards far outway time. Who Knows , they might just really start to HEAR YOU too. 😉

24/07/2024

Good morning.
I challenge you today ,to for the next 48 hours to :
# Pause, think, reflect, redirect. !!!
Pray!!! Praise!!!

They say what the heart is full off , the mouth speaks.

What fruit are your thought and words reflecting?
Is it lined with hurt, bitterness, unforgiveness, self-hate ???...
Or bearing fruit of
Love, joy and kindness, life....

Take a moment to acknowledge your feelings and then release all that are robbing you.
I know it's easier said than done so take one for one with mindfulness to the path of healing so that it stops here and not overflow to the next generation or others.

WE CANNOT CONTROL WHAT OTHER DO OR HOW THEY RE-ACT BUT WE CAN CONTROL OUR OWN RESPONSE BY SAYING.

NO MORE !!!
THIS IS ENOUGH.

I FORGIVE SO AND SO FOR THIS AND THAT...

I AM WONDERFULLY AND FEARFULLY MADE AND WILL STOP PUTTING MYSELF DOWN.

I TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY, I HAVE MADE MISTAKES BUT I WILL NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN.( I will do better)

I GIVE MY FEARS TO THE LORD.
I TRUST GOD !

YESTERDAY IS THE PAST - I CHOOSE A NEW FUTURE.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

I haven't posted in a while as I really don't just want to post to post. The topic must be relatable, honest and of valu...
23/07/2024

I haven't posted in a while as I really don't just want to post to post. The topic must be relatable, honest and of value to assist and build the parent/child.

Today I leave you with this:
As a parent, your words and actions have the power to shape the way your child views themselves and the behaviors they mimic as they grow up.

Be accountable for what you think; say and do.

Watch your words, think before you speak.

Pray. Seek God. Trust God.

Let's God's wisdom lead you and direct you as you also realize the power that are in your words ( and the way you use them)
Put up your family up for success, victory over hard times let ur words be what they hear when facing hard choices.

You are loved!
You are precious!

KINDNESSFor as long as I can remember, I always try to remind myself to choose kindness over anything. I'm not perfect, ...
07/03/2024

KINDNESS

For as long as I can remember, I always try to remind myself to choose kindness over anything. I'm not perfect, and sometimes, or should I say, often fail, but I do my best to follow through with kindness.

It all adds up, and it can be like a superpower that empowers others, supports healing ❤‍🩹, and kindness can motivate.
I love how it can make a child's face lit up, don't you?

It's easy to say ,"be KIND" and easy to do when it comes to being kind to another parent/kid at school or someone you get along with.

But,
being kind to a selfish driver that treats a circle as a free stream ...
Or a spouse that has hurt you verbally...
Or being kind to someone who has been talking behind your back...
Or being kind when you feel vulnerable
IS REALLY, REALLY HARD!!!

What do we do when kindness is really, really hard?

The truth is this: unkind comments hurt, and they probably always will.

My instinct is to reply with some uncharitable words of my own. At the very least, I feel a sarcastic barb or two is more than appropriate in the circumstances.

Do they deserve my kindness? Shouldn’t they be put in their place? Am I not just standing up for myself?

Sometimes, kindness is really, really difficult, and I just don’t know if I have it in me. What do I do with that?

THE WORD SAYS THIS:
There are many scripture about kindness. Here are 2 that jumped out at me.

⭐‭‭Ephesians 4:32 NIV‬‬
[32] Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

⭐‭‭Colossians 3:12-13 NIV‬‬
[12] Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. [13] Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

🩵What I hear in this is that kindness is a gift, that kindness is a chance for us to be obedient, a decision on our part to be Kind, forgiving and not a response, whether the person we are speaking or interacting with is deserving of our kindness or not.

So when the next time you don't feel like being kind or respectful, remember it's not about them, it's about who you are so YOU, BE KIND REGARDLESS.

I hope that you are encouraged to be kind even to the thorns in our lives.

Have an awesome week!

23/10/2023
Unconditional LoveUnconditional love doesn’t call names or fixate on flaws. Love sees the potential for the best and hop...
23/10/2023

Unconditional Love
Unconditional love doesn’t call names or fixate on flaws. Love sees the potential for the best and hopes for the best in others. Love sees the overlooked, the sad, the broken and picks them. It holds them and brings healing and wholeness.

Oh my. As mothers, most of us could do with less judgment and more support and I think alot of times our children feel the same way.
Let us focus this week on providing unconditional love or encouraging each other instead of nagging and pointing out all the mistakes in our children; partner and those around us.
Quick note: Also extend this kindness to other parents because there is no perfect parent and you dont know what cross they are bearing.
Parenthood is not against other parents , parenthood is your jouney with your children.

Perhaps the greatest gift you could give your child is unconditional love. Check out these quotes for inspiration on how to love your kids completely and unconditionally.

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love” (I John 4:18).
“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person: He believed in me.”—Jim Valvano
“Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.”—Harold Hulburt
"I may not be able to give my kids everything they want, but I give them what they need: love, time, and attention. You can't buy those things.”—Nishan Panwar
“Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.”—Bill Ayers
“By loving them for more than their abilities, we show our children that they are much more than the sum of their accomplishments.”—Eileen Kennedy-Moore
"A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to."—Robert Brault
“Encourage and support your kids, because children are apt to live up to what you believe of them.”—Lady Bird Johnson
"As your kids grow up, they may forget what you said, but they won't forget how you made them feel."—Kevin Heath

Positive affirmations, quality time, attentive listening are great ways to encourage and show your unconditional love.

If you want to know the secret on how to love your children unconditionally, look to scripture. The most famous description of love is, of course, I Corinthians 13:4-7,

“Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Be patient, kind, humble, and willing to not have things go your way. Don’t let their behavior provoke you to act inappropriately. Don’t keep track of their mistakes.

footnote: Time is non-refundable , use it with intention.

They grow up so fast. Love them now ! Love them always.

Want to break away for the holidays ?Then check out this spacious Farmhouse within the Cradle of humankind. The farmhous...
18/10/2023

Want to break away for the holidays ?
Then check out this spacious Farmhouse within the Cradle of humankind.
The farmhouse has 3 bedrooms and sleeps 6.
Large whirlpool bath. Lots of bird species and roaming animals in the area.
Guests are welcome to bring their mountain bikes or go for a scenic walk.
Fully equipped kitchen with all your must have amenities.
Have young kids? No need to bring toys/books or the camping cot. (available on request)
So click on the link and make your booking now.

Cheerful cradle farmhouse with whirlpool bath

Getting practical (Ages 6 - 11) SELF-TALKThis lesson ties in with some of the topics we have covered so far, like self-a...
16/10/2023

Getting practical (Ages 6 - 11) SELF-TALK
This lesson ties in with some of the topics we have covered so far, like self-awareness, anger, anxiety, emotional regulation.

Today we will look at a practical way of helping your child change negative/hurtful thought into more positive ones.

Highly emotional children tent to have very low self-esteems and they are over critical about themselves. The self talk we give ourselves is normal but not often helpful or true.
As a parent of emotional kids like this , I can tell you that this method is one of the top of my list to healing & recover that low self-esteem.

We are what we think, and, we act the way we feel.

So ALARM BELLS should be going off if/when your child are voicing things like "no one likes me; I am a failure; I cannot do anything right"...etc..

Lets get right into it.

3 Step Method of changing negative / hurtful thoughts.
1- IDENTIFY WHEN HAVING NEGATIVE THOUGHT
2- CHALLENGE THE NEGATIVE THOUGHT (EVALUATE)
3- REPLACE NEGATIVE THOUGHT WITH MORE HELPFUL ONE (RESPOND)

1 IDENTFY WHEN HAVING NEGATIVE THOUGHT
You need to listen to their words AND THEY must listen to their own words to ID the NEGATIVE THOUGHT.
"I am useless",..."everyone bullies me"... "no one like me" ", "I don't know anyone in the soccer team"
Parent might respond: Don't you think that is a mean thought ?
Child: Maybe...I guess it is.

2- CHALLENGE THAT THOUGHT
example: "I think everyone don't like me."
IS THAT TRUE, LETS LOOK FOR EVIDENCE.
Parent: I like you. Is there really no one you think who like you.
Kid: I do sometimes play with Daniel and Michael stands up for me.
* Actually there are people who like me

3- REPLACE NEGATIVE THOUGHT WITH MORE HELPFUL ONE
- What is true, what is real?
Might rather say: I have a few good friends.
or with the "I don't know anyone in the soccer team"- a better respond might be , "this is a great place to make new friends"
Please look at the images attached for examples and try out a Worksheet card that works for you.

Part2: Expanded version
FYI & Further understanding negative thought.
Once they can tell negative thoughts from positive thoughts, start exploring the types of negative thinking.

Gloomy: focus on small negative parts of a situation.
Hype: make something into a big deal.
Omen: predict bad things will happen.
Fault: blame ourselves or others.
Rule: focus on what should happen.
Heart: only listen to feelings.

Understand Negative Thinking
Teaching kids that being aware of the type of negative thoughts you have can help you spot them better and challenge them.

As you are exploring negative thoughts and the types, discuss what makes the thought negative. Is the thought untrue? Is it ignoring facts?

Make sure to also emphasize the impact that negative thinking has on them and also the people around them. Negative thoughts influence our feelings and our actions.

For example, we might think someone else is cheating at a game because they are winning. This isn't a true thought or one we have evidence for. But we still feel angry and then we refuse to play with them anymore. Not only did that thought impact our feelings and actions, but it also had a negative impact on our relationship.

Make It Personal
Once students understand what makes a thought negative and that there are different kinds of negative thoughts, they can determine which ones they have.

Provide your child with opportunities to spot their negative thinking in a scenario. It's best if it's scenarios that are from their life or something that was close to a situation that already happened.

Challenge Negative Thinking
Now students should understand what a negative thought is and be able to spot it. They should also be able to talk about the kinds of negative thoughts they personally have.

Replace Negative Thinking
After kids can spot and challenge negative thinking, it is time to replace it with a more realistic, sometimes positive, thought.

Practicing MindfullnessMindfullness is shortly, being able to Stop, live in the present moment. Essentially, it means be...
26/09/2023

Practicing Mindfullness
Mindfullness is shortly, being able to Stop, live in the present moment. Essentially, it means being (intentionally) more aware and awake to each moment and being fully engaged in what is happening in one's surroundings – with acceptance and without judgment.

Mindfulness is a self-regulation strategy. With practice, it can help us feel calm, confident, and focused. And while it’s very helpful for us, as adults, mindfulness is a powerful skill we can teach to children and young adults.

Why teach mindfulness?
Teaching mindfulness to kids can also help shape three critical skills developed in early childhood:
Paying attention and remembering information, shifting back and forth between tasks, and behaving appropriately with others.
These abilities are known as executive functions and they are essential for more advanced tasks like planning, reasoning, problem-solving, and positive social relationships.

Benefits of Mindfulness:
1. Increased focus/memory, attention, self-control, classroom participation, compassion.

2. Improved academic performance, ability to resolve conflict, overall well-being.

3. Decreased levels of stress, depression, anxiety, disruptive behavior.

4. Increased Emotional Regulation.

5. Stronger Relationships.

Here are 12 simple ways to practice mindfulness with children and teens:
1.Practice breathing techniques.
Breathing techniques are one of the first strategies to practice and teach mindfulness. In many ways, breathing is the basis to everything else; when we can calm our breathing, we can calm our bodies and minds.

2.Mindfully listen to music. (music can be calming, energizing, make you feel sleepy and some music can improve concentration..)

3. Nature Walk
Consider what you see, hear, smell, feel, and even taste.

4. Spend time journal writing. ( a time to reflect. What are you thankful for, what are your wishes for world today)

5. Recite positive affirmations.
There is so much power in positive affirmations.
These inspiring self-talk statements remind us that we’re capable, strong, and focused on success.
Have kids choose their favorite self-talk statements, make a list, and recite those together. This can even be a daily morning ritual to start the day.
I use Lunchbox notes: Just do your best ! You are loved ! I am proud of how you handled....; I can see you are studied hard, good luck.

6. Practice stretchingor yoga

7. Check in with your emotions.
Pause and connect with your inner feelings. This mindfulness strategy can help kids and teens focus on the “right now” while also building self-awareness and self-regulation skills.

8. Take a mindful brain break.
Brain breaks give a quick pause in the day. These can be used during a transition from one subject to another, after lunch or recess, or prior to an assessment.

9. Spend extra time outside.
Even in times when you can’t walk or explore too far, try spending time outside. Sit and listen to the sounds of nature as you breathe in and out slowly

10. Draw, color, or doodle.
Play calming music and draw, color, or just doodle. Mindful coloring pages work excellent for this activity. What’s most important is to teach kids how to mindfully color. This means just coloring in the moment, and not worrying about what looks “right” or “wrong.” Just breathe, color, and be.

11. Use senses to observe an object.
Choose any object around you; this can be anything from a shoe to a water bottle or your phone.

12. Do something fun and just experience the moment like baking, dancing to your favorite song or just stare up at the clouds.

That's all from me today.
Have a super mindful good day!

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