Shai Friedland Clinical Psychologist

05/09/2025

When does anxiety and worry stop being protective and start becoming maladaptive?

Anxiety isn’t always the enemy. In fact, it’s designed to help keep us safe. It sharpens our senses, helps us prepare, and motivates us to take action. Think of it as your brain’s way of saying, “Hey, this matters. Pay attention.”

But sometimes anxiety stops helping and starts hurting. Instead of guiding us, it spirals, keeps us on edge, and makes us feel like danger is everywhere. That’s when anxiety becomes maladaptive, when it takes more than it gives.

Here are three scenarios to spot when anxiety may be crossing that line:
When it’s too severe for the situation (you freeze, procrastinate, or panic even when prepared).
When it’s too frequent (you feel anxious most days of the week).
When it shows up out of context (you wake up anxious with no clear reason).

Anxiety means your body and brain are trying to protect you, but this alarm system may be a little too sensitive right now.

The goal isn’t to erase anxiety but to notice: is this feeling pointing me forward, or is it pulling me under?

With support and tools, anxiety can be a helpful guide, instead of a heavy weight.
Next time you feel anxious, ask: “Is this worry helpful... or is it just noise?”

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21/08/2025

Anxiety can feel overwhelming for kids and parents. But one powerful tool is something simple: predicting and practising.

Predicting and rehearsing how to respond to stressors or anxiety triggers is an incredibly powerful tool for helping your child to know what to expect, reducing the fear of the unknown.

13/08/2025

New Workshop: PARENTING THE ANXIOUS CHILD
5 online sessions, once a week, Wed nights, starting 20 Aug.
For more info & bookings: shai@shaifriedland.co.za

11/08/2025

It’s easy to believe we need to feel better before we can do better. We tell ourselves, “Once I have more motivation, I’ll start working,” or “When I feel more confident, I’ll go out and see people.”

But the truth is, our emotions don’t always show up first. Often, it's the action that gently leads the way. When we push ourselves to take a small step like getting to the gym, answering one email, or reaching out to someone, we’re not waiting for the perfect feeling. We’re creating the conditions for it. More often than not, that feeling slowly starts to follow.

It’s not about pretending we feel okay. It’s about giving ourselves a chance to feel a little different by showing up, even when it’s hard. That first step might feel awkward or heavy, but it’s still a step that counts.

08/08/2025

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is often misunderstood, even by people who mean well. Here’s what OCD is not.

06/08/2025

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, is often misunderstood. It’s more than being neat or liking things a certain way. At its core, OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images and/or urges (obsessions) and behaviours or mental acts (compulsions) a person feels driven to perform in response.

These patterns aren’t about preference or personality; they’re about managing intense anxiety, guilt, shame and discomfort.

People with OCD often know their thoughts are irrational, but the fear feels very real. Compulsions might offer momentary relief, but they tend to reinforce the cycle, making it harder to break.

OCD can show up in many forms. It’s not always about germs or checking locks. There are many themes in OCD, and they might involve fears around morality, safety, harm, or uncertainty, to name a few. Each experience is personal and extremely valid.

What’s important to know is that OCD is treatable. With the proper support, like evidence-based therapies, education, community, and sometimes medication, it’s possible to live a whole and meaningful life alongside it.

If you or someone you care about struggles with these patterns, you're not alone. Let’s keep the conversation going.

16/07/2025

Join me on Instagram. A space to explore the questions, the work, and the messiness of sitting on both sides of the therapeutic couch. If you’re curious about therapy, growth, or what it means to show up for yourself and others, follow along 📲

43 Followers, 0 Following, 3 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Both Sides of the Couch with Shai Friedland (.friedland)

15/07/2025

Hi, I’m Shai Friedland, a Clinical Psychologist who focuses on OCD and Anxiety treatment.

Having sat on both sides of the couch, first as someone navigating my own mental health struggles and now as a psychologist, I carry a deep, personal understanding of what it means to face these challenges. That journey has shaped a genuine passion and commitment to walk alongside others as they navigate theirs.

Both Sides of the Couch is a space that represents and includes many layers. But at its core, my personal mental health story with OCD makes up one side of the couch, and my professional therapeutic journey represents the other. I am hoping for Both Sides of the Couch to be a space of transparent knowledge sharing on psychology topics, ideas and tools.

Together, lets delve into a world of information, collaboration, and understanding. See you on the couch!

13/02/2025

EMOTION REGULATION GROUP
For Children & Pre-Teens, Ages 8-13
Incorporating Physical Exercise and Therapeutic Techniques
For more information and bookings, please contact:
info@cbtworkshops.co.site / shai@shaifriedland.co.za

08/01/2025

COMPREHENSIVE FEAR OF FLYING COURSE!

Incorporating CBT Techniques

For more information and bookings please e-mail: info@cbtworkshops.co.site