Brenda Leemans Child Therapist

Brenda Leemans Child Therapist Children are great imitators. Give them something great to imitate. Therapy, Assessments, Group Discussions, Trauma Counselling, Workshops

Our passion is for working with children and watching them blossom into their bright little unique personalities. Chameleon Child Therapy Centre was started with the mission of providing a safe environment to facilitate healing in children and families.

Play Therapists: What do you do? 😳πŸ₯ΊπŸ€ͺ
11/09/2025

Play Therapists: What do you do? 😳πŸ₯ΊπŸ€ͺ

02/09/2025
28/07/2025

Let's talk about why giving your child a smartphone is one of the most important decisions you'll make for them! Join us in conversation with global child online safety activist, Chris McKenna. He's a father of four, and founder of Protect Young Eyes (USA) - an organization dedicated to helping fami...

π’πžπ­π­π’π§π  𝐋𝐒𝐦𝐒𝐭𝐬 𝐒𝐧 𝐏π₯𝐚𝐲 π“π‘πžπ«πšπ©π²In play therapy, children are encouraged to lead, explore, and express freely. But even in...
01/07/2025

π’πžπ­π­π’π§π  𝐋𝐒𝐦𝐒𝐭𝐬 𝐒𝐧 𝐏π₯𝐚𝐲 π“π‘πžπ«πšπ©π²

In play therapy, children are encouraged to lead, explore, and express freely. But even in a space designed for emotional safety, some boundaries are essential. This is where limit-setting comes in.

Limit-setting is not about control or punishment. It is about protecting safety while still honoring the child’s feelings. A well-set limit says, β€œπΌ 𝑠𝑒𝑒 π‘¦π‘œπ‘’, π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝐼 𝑀𝑖𝑙𝑙 β„Žπ‘’π‘™π‘ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘ π‘Žπ‘“π‘’.”

The winning formula:

⭐️ Acknowledge the need
⭐️ Communicate the limit
⭐️ Offer an alternative

For example, if a child throws a toy, the therapist might say:

"π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’'π‘Ÿπ‘’ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 π‘™π‘–π‘˜π‘’ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘€π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘¦π‘œπ‘’π‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘œπ‘¦ π‘π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘ . π‘‡β„Žπ‘’π‘¦ π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘’π‘›'𝑑 π‘“π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘€π‘–π‘›π‘”. π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘› π‘‘β„Žπ‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘€ π‘Ž π‘π‘Žπ‘™π‘™ π‘–π‘›π‘ π‘‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘‘."

The alternative needs to meet the need as much as possible. This keeps the message clear: your feelings are okay, your needs are valid, but some behaviors aren't.

Limit-setting:

⭐️ Creates a sense of safety and predictability
⭐️ Teaches impulse control and emotional regulation
⭐️ Reinforces respect for self and others
⭐️ Helps children feel held, not judged

When done calmly and consistently, setting limits can deepen a child’s trust in the adult holding the boundary.

Using This at Home or School

You don’t have to be a therapist to set boundaries with care. Here’s how to set limits in everyday situations:

1. Acknowledge the need

β€œπ‘‡β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘™π‘™π‘¦ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘‘.”
β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ π‘€π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘‘π‘œ π‘π‘™π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘ π‘œπ‘šπ‘’ π‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘’.”

2. Communicate the limit

β€œπΌπ‘‘β€™π‘  π‘›π‘œπ‘‘ π‘œπ‘˜π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘‘π‘œ β„Žπ‘–π‘‘.”
β€œπΌπ‘‘'𝑠 π‘‘π‘–π‘šπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œ π‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘’ 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒”

3. Offer an alternative

β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘› π‘ π‘‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’π‘Ÿ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑑.”
β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘› π‘π‘™π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘Žπ‘”π‘Žπ‘–π‘› π‘‘π‘œπ‘šπ‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘€β€

This style of limit-setting reduces power struggles, builds emotional resilience, and supports connection over control.

⭐️

Children need freedom to explore, but they also need clear, loving limits to feel safe. When boundaries are set with empathy and consistency, children learn that they can have big feelings and still be cared for.

Limits are not walls. They are the structure that allows children to grow with confidence.

π‘πžπŸπ₯𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐒𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐧 𝐏π₯𝐚𝐲 π“π‘πžπ«πšπ©π²In play therapy, children use toys the way adults use words. Through their play, they express ...
24/06/2025

π‘πžπŸπ₯𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐒𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐧 𝐏π₯𝐚𝐲 π“π‘πžπ«πšπ©π²

In play therapy, children use toys the way adults use words. Through their play, they express worries, test out ideas, and explore feelings they may not yet be able to name. One of the most powerful tools therapists use to support this process is called reflecting.

Reflecting is more than just repeating what a child says. It is about tuning into the feelings and intentions behind their actions or words, and gently naming them in a way that helps the child feel deeply seen and understood.

π‘Šβ„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ 𝐼𝑠 𝑅𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔?

Reflecting is a core skill in child-centered play therapy. It involves the therapist watching and listening carefully, then responding with a statement that captures the emotion, thought, or meaning the child may be expressing, either directly or through their play.

πΉπ‘œπ‘Ÿ 𝑒π‘₯π‘Žπ‘šπ‘π‘™π‘’:

If a child throws a toy and growls, the therapist might say, β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘™π‘™π‘¦ π‘Žπ‘›π‘”π‘Ÿπ‘¦ π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘”β„Žπ‘‘ π‘›π‘œπ‘€.”
If a child cuddles a doll and sings softly, the therapist might say, β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ π‘€π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘œ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 π‘ π‘Žπ‘“π‘’ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘™π‘œπ‘£π‘’π‘‘.”
If a child whispers, β€œπ»π‘’β€™π‘  π‘ π‘π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘’π‘‘ π‘œπ‘“ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘˜,” the therapist could reflect, β€œπ‘‡β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’β€™π‘  π‘ π‘œπ‘šπ‘’π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘›π‘” π‘Žπ‘π‘œπ‘’π‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘˜ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑠 π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘™π‘™π‘¦ 𝑏𝑖𝑔 π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘ π‘π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘¦.”

These reflections are offered without judgment, advice, or interpretation. They simply name what the child is already communicating, often beneath the surface.

𝑅𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 β„Žπ‘’π‘™π‘π‘  π‘β„Žπ‘–π‘™π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘›

🌈Understand their own feelings. Naming emotions gives children the vocabulary and safety to begin exploring what they feel inside.
🌈Feel accepted and validated. When a trusted adult notices and accepts their emotional world, children feel less alone.
🌈Build emotional intelligence. Reflecting teaches kids to recognize emotions in themselves and others, an essential life skill.
🌈Regulate more effectively. When a child’s internal state is reflected calmly by an adult, their nervous system begins to settle.

In therapy, reflecting is one of the key ways that emotional healing and growth begin to take shape.

πΆπ‘Žπ‘› π‘ƒπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘  π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘‡π‘’π‘Žπ‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘  π‘ˆπ‘ π‘’ 𝑅𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔?

Absolutely. Reflecting is not just a therapy skill. It is a powerful way to connect with children in everyday moments, whether they are calm, playful, upset, or overwhelmed. Here are some ways to use it:

1. π‘π‘œπ‘‘π‘–π‘π‘’ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘›π‘Žπ‘šπ‘’ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘’π‘šπ‘œπ‘‘π‘–π‘œπ‘›

Instead of jumping in to fix, distract, or correct, try simply naming what you see.

β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘™π‘™π‘¦ π‘‘π‘–π‘ π‘Žπ‘π‘π‘œπ‘–π‘›π‘‘π‘’π‘‘ 𝑀𝑒 π‘π‘Žπ‘›β€™π‘‘ π‘”π‘œ.”
β€œπ‘‡β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘‘. π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ π‘€π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘›β€™π‘‘ π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘‘π‘¦ π‘‘π‘œ π‘ π‘‘π‘œπ‘ π‘π‘™π‘Žπ‘¦π‘–π‘›π‘”.”

This helps children feel heard and allows their emotion to move through, rather than build up.

2. 𝑅𝑒𝑓𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑑 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑑 π‘œπ‘Ÿ π‘‘π‘’π‘ π‘–π‘Ÿπ‘’

Sometimes kids don’t say how they feel, but their actions tell the story. You can reflect what they might be needing.

β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘™π‘™π‘¦ π‘€π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘‘π‘œ 𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑑 𝑗𝑒𝑠𝑑 π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘”β„Žπ‘‘.”
β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘¦π‘–π‘›π‘” β„Žπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘‘ π‘‘π‘œ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘˜π‘’ β„Žπ‘–π‘š 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 π‘π‘’π‘‘π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿ.”

3. 𝐾𝑒𝑒𝑝 𝑖𝑑 π‘ π‘–π‘šπ‘π‘™π‘’ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑒

Reflecting works best when it is short and heartfelt. You don’t need to analyze or go deep. Just be present and offer gentle understanding.

4. π‘ˆπ‘ π‘’ 𝑖𝑑 π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘›π‘” π‘π‘œπ‘›π‘“π‘™π‘–π‘π‘‘

Even in difficult moments, reflecting can be a bridge.

β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ 𝐼 π‘ π‘Žπ‘–π‘‘ π‘›π‘œ. 𝐼𝑑’𝑠 β„Žπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘‘ π‘€β„Žπ‘’π‘› π‘‘β„Žπ‘–π‘›π‘”π‘  π‘‘π‘œπ‘›β€™π‘‘ π‘”π‘œ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘€π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ β„Žπ‘œπ‘π‘’π‘‘.”

This doesn't mean you're giving in. It means you're showing that their feelings matter, even when the answer is still "no."

🌈🌈🌈

Reflecting is about connection, not correction. It is about slowing down and tuning in. When we reflect a child’s experience back to them without pressure, judgment, or agenda, we help them make sense of their inner world.

Children don’t need us to fix every problem. They need us to see them, hear them, and walk beside them. And sometimes, a simple reflection like β€œπ‘‡β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘™π‘™π‘¦ β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘‘ π‘¦π‘œπ‘’π‘Ÿ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠” is all it takes for a child to feel safe enough to begin healing.

So next time your child is struggling, or even just deeply immersed in play, try pausing and reflecting what you see or sense. You may be surprised at how much closer it brings you.

π“π«πšπœπ€π’π§π  𝐒𝐧 𝐏π₯𝐚𝐲 π“π‘πžπ«πšπ©π²When children are playing, they are doing more than just having fun. Play is their natural langu...
17/06/2025

π“π«πšπœπ€π’π§π  𝐒𝐧 𝐏π₯𝐚𝐲 π“π‘πžπ«πšπ©π²

When children are playing, they are doing more than just having fun. Play is their natural language, and in therapy, it becomes a powerful way for them to express thoughts and feelings that they may not have the words for yet. One of the foundational tools therapists use to support this process is called tracking.

But what exactly is tracking, and how can it help children feel more seen and supported both in therapy and in everyday environments like home or school?

🌈

Tracking is a therapeutic technique used in child-centered play therapy, where the therapist observes and verbally reflects a child’s actions during play without interpreting or questioning them. Instead of asking β€œπ‘Šβ„Žπ‘¦ 𝑑𝑖𝑑 π‘¦π‘œπ‘’ π‘‘π‘œ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘?” or giving praise like β€œπΊπ‘Ÿπ‘’π‘Žπ‘‘ π‘—π‘œπ‘!”, the therapist simply describes what the child is doing in the moment.

For example:

If a child is stacking blocks, the therapist might say, β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 π‘Ž π‘‘π‘œπ‘€π‘’π‘Ÿ. π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘£π‘’ π‘Žπ‘‘π‘‘π‘’π‘‘ 𝑓𝑖𝑣𝑒 π‘π‘™π‘œπ‘π‘˜π‘  π‘›π‘œπ‘€.”
If a child crashes toy cars together, the therapist might say, β€œπ‘‡β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘€π‘Žπ‘  π‘Ž 𝑏𝑖𝑔 π‘π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘ β„Ž. π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ π‘π‘œπ‘‘β„Ž π‘π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘  π‘ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘ β„Ž π‘–π‘›π‘‘π‘œ π‘’π‘Žπ‘β„Ž π‘œπ‘‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿ.”

This kind of language communicates that the therapist is fully present and paying attention, without judgment, agenda, or evaluation.

Tracking helps children feel

πŸ§Έπ‘†π‘’π‘’π‘› π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ β„Žπ‘’π‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘‘: It shows them that their play, choices, and inner world matter.

πŸ§Έπ΄π‘π‘π‘’π‘π‘‘π‘’π‘‘: There’s no pressure to perform or behave a certain way.

πŸ§ΈπΌπ‘› π‘π‘œπ‘›π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘™: It reinforces that they are leading the session and making choices for themselves.

Over time, this builds trust and emotional safety. Children become more confident in expressing their thoughts and feelings because they are met with steady, respectful presence.

πΆπ‘Žπ‘› π‘ƒπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘’π‘›π‘‘π‘  π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ π‘‡π‘’π‘Žπ‘β„Žπ‘’π‘Ÿπ‘  π‘ˆπ‘ π‘’ π‘‡π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘π‘˜π‘–π‘›π‘”?

Absolutely. While tracking is most often used in therapy, its benefits extend beautifully into everyday life. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, using tracking in your own interactions can strengthen your connection with a child and help them regulate their emotions more effectively.

Here’s how:

1. π‘ˆπ‘ π‘’ π‘‘π‘’π‘ π‘π‘Ÿπ‘–π‘π‘‘π‘–π‘£π‘’ π‘™π‘Žπ‘›π‘”π‘’π‘Žπ‘”π‘’ π‘–π‘›π‘ π‘‘π‘’π‘Žπ‘‘ π‘œπ‘“ π‘’π‘£π‘Žπ‘™π‘’π‘Žπ‘‘π‘–π‘œπ‘›

Rather than saying β€œπΊπ‘œπ‘œπ‘‘ π‘—π‘œπ‘ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘Žπ‘€π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘,” try β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’ 𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑑 π‘™π‘œπ‘‘π‘  π‘œπ‘“ π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘‘ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑓𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘€β„Žπ‘œπ‘™π‘’ π‘π‘Žπ‘”π‘’.” This keeps the focus on the child’s experience, not on your judgment (even if it's positive).

2. π‘†π‘‘π‘Žπ‘¦ π‘π‘Ÿπ‘’π‘ π‘’π‘›π‘‘ π‘€π‘–π‘‘β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘‘ π‘–π‘›π‘‘π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘Ÿπ‘’π‘π‘‘π‘–π‘›π‘”

When a child is deeply engaged in play, resist the urge to direct, correct, or question. Sit nearby and quietly reflect what you notice: β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ 𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑒𝑝 π‘Žπ‘™π‘™ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘Žπ‘›π‘–π‘šπ‘Žπ‘™π‘ . π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘£π‘’ π‘”π‘œπ‘‘ π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘™π‘–π‘œπ‘› π‘“π‘–π‘Ÿπ‘ π‘‘.”

3. π‘‰π‘Žπ‘™π‘–π‘‘π‘Žπ‘‘π‘’ 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 π‘‘β„Žπ‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘’π‘”β„Ž π‘Žπ‘π‘‘π‘–π‘œπ‘›π‘ 

Sometimes children express emotions through actions rather than words. If a child is slamming doors or throwing toys, instead of scolding or analyzing, you might say, β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘€π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘‘β„Žπ‘’ π‘π‘™π‘œπ‘π‘˜π‘  β„Žπ‘Žπ‘Ÿπ‘‘. π‘‡β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘™π‘œπ‘œπ‘˜π‘  π‘™π‘–π‘˜π‘’ 𝑏𝑖𝑔 π‘’π‘›π‘’π‘Ÿπ‘”π‘¦.” This approach helps a child feel acknowledged rather than shamed.

4. π‘†π‘’π‘π‘π‘œπ‘Ÿπ‘‘ π‘π‘Ÿπ‘œπ‘π‘™π‘’π‘š-π‘ π‘œπ‘™π‘£π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘€π‘–π‘‘β„Žπ‘œπ‘’π‘‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘˜π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘œπ‘£π‘’π‘Ÿ

When a child is struggling, instead of immediately offering solutions, you can track their efforts: β€œπ‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘‘π‘Ÿπ‘¦π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘‘π‘œ π‘šπ‘Žπ‘˜π‘’ π‘‘β„Žπ‘Žπ‘‘ π‘‘π‘œπ‘€π‘’π‘Ÿ π‘ π‘‘π‘Žπ‘¦ 𝑒𝑝. π‘Œπ‘œπ‘’β€™π‘Ÿπ‘’ π‘šπ‘œπ‘£π‘–π‘›π‘” π‘ π‘™π‘œπ‘€π‘™π‘¦ π‘Žπ‘›π‘‘ 𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 π‘π‘œπ‘‘β„Ž β„Žπ‘Žπ‘›π‘‘π‘ .” This helps the child build confidence in their own ability to persevere.

🌈

Tracking may seem like a small shift in language, but it can have a powerful impact on your relationship with a child. It invites them to take up space, to explore freely, and to feel deeply understood. And for children who are still developing emotional awareness and communication skills, that quiet, steady presence can be incredibly healing.

So next time you’re watching your child play, try stepping into the role of observer. Reflect what you see, stay curious, and allow their world to unfold. You might be surprised by what you learn, not just about them, but about the quiet strength of simply being there.

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Our Story

Chameleon Play Therapy strives to provide its young patients with the ability to adapt to their environment, embrace their uniqueness, and regulate their feelings.

Just like chameleons.

Chameleons are an excellent example of self-regulation occurring naturally. Chameleons are extraordinary little creatures, the odd shining stars of the lizard world when you look at their design features; superhero range of vision because of their β€˜swivelly’ eyes, their salad-tong shaped feet that help them navigate their leafy environment, their remarkable adaptability, as well as their exceptional metachrosis ability (changing colour) as non-verbal communication skills.

Chameleons have keen perceptive abilities and are completely at one with themselves and their emotions – fully integrated body, mind and heart. They do not lose their tails when faced with a crisis. They are cautious within themselves and their surroundings. They know how to express themselves without getting aggressive.