A. Deh Clinical Psychologist

25/04/2025

Priceless

06/04/2025

06/04/2025

Loss isn't just a single timeline event. It's something that has ripples. Your person is missing at every point in the future.
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In her poem "Burning the Old Year," Naomi Shihab Nye writes: "where there was something and suddenly isn’t, an absence shouts…"⁣⁣
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I bet you can relate to that. No one can fully prepare for the something that was there and suddenly is not.⁣⁣ Absence shouts from every angle, every corner of your life. There is nowhere it does not reach.⁣⁣
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For a long time after Matt drowned, I expected him to simply walk back in. Walk back in to the kitchen from the bedroom. Walk back in to the coffee shop after parking the car. Just – please. Walk back in. His absence in my life, our life, echoed off of everything.⁣⁣
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The echoes continue into a future we do not have. There is nowhere his absence does not reach.⁣
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And this is a thing many people outside your grief can't understand: that you haven't simply lost one person, at one point in time. You've lost their presence in every aspect of your life. Your future has changed as well as your “now.”⁣⁣
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As your grief unfolds, you'll find more and more places their absence shouts. I don’t mean that as a downer. The truth is, as we live forward, we carry their absence with us. The absence exists because love exists. The only thing time will do is shift the balance, allowing more love to take over that absence, filling in the empty place with its own weight.⁣⁣
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As you move through this week, this month, this year, my hope is that the love you feel equals the absence, that love takes up just as much space. May you feel your own love and the love of the one who has gone like outgoing and incoming tides.⁣⁣
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How has the absence of the one you love shown up in your present life? How has your future changed?⁣⁣ Let me know in the comments.
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