Shumi Beauty Kali Counselling

15/01/2026

Rewards assume a child can do the thing — they just need motivation.

But anxious children aren’t unmotivated. They’re overwhelmed.

When fear is driving behaviour, stickers don’t create safety.

Charts don’t calm nervous systems.
And pressure — even positive pressure — can make anxiety louder.

An anxious child usually wants to please.
Adding rewards can turn that want into worry: What if I can’t earn it? What if I fail? What if I disappoint you?

Support works better than incentives.
Safety works better than rewards.
Connection works better than control.

This doesn’t mean no boundaries.

It means we respond to anxiety with understanding before expectations.
If this resonates, you’re not alone — and neither is your child.

🤍 Save this for later or share with a parent who needs this reminder.

15/01/2026

When kids act out, push back, or fall apart, it’s not defiance. It’s a signal.
A signal that something feels too big, too hard, or too overwhelming.

Instead of jumping straight to consequences, try this:
💬 “That was a big reaction — are you okay?”
💬 “Looks like something’s feeling tricky right now.”

This doesn’t mean we excuse the behaviour.
It means we meet the need behind it — and guide them from there.
Because connection is what builds cooperation. 💛

📘 Find more tools like this in my book Guidance from The Therapist Parent — available at www.thetherapistparent.com or via the link in bio.

BigFeelings ParentingWisdom

01/01/2026

17/12/2025

Money doesn’t just change balances.
It quietly rearranges expectations, power, and silence between two people.
What begins as help can end as tension—unless clarity arrives before the loan does.

17/12/2025

Most people only notice the final strike.
They forget the quiet work before it.

Every attempt leaves a mark, even when nothing seems to change.
What looks sudden is usually built slowly — one honest effort at a time.fblifestyle

17/12/2025

Sometimes the problem isn’t life.
It’s you overthinking a handle.

12/12/2025

Gentle Reminder. 💛💐

12/08/2025

12/08/2025

07/07/2025

Ever notice how the whole family tiptoes around the same person?
⠀
Sometimes “keeping the peace” means handing the loudest person all the power,
while everyone else is expected to stay quiet.
⠀
But real peace doesn’t come from walking on eggshells
or tiptoeing around dysfunction.
⠀
It doesn’t come from silencing your own needs
just to soothe someone else’s chaos.
⠀
It comes when boundaries are respected,
when harmony is shared,
not forced. ⚖️
⠀
Because if you’re constantly comforting the person who causes the most pain,
that’s not peace,
it’s quiet at a cost. 🕯️
⠀
And eventually,
someone’s silence becomes too heavy to carry.
⠀

04/06/2025