You Plus Wellness

24/05/2025

Dr. Consuelo Casula looked into my eyes.
Not in passing—intently.
We were standing near the food table, noise all around.
But when I approached her again, she gently took me aside. Away from the crowd.
“Now tell me,” she said.

So I did. I told her where I was, what I was working through.
She listened.
And then, calmly, she said:

“Take a deep breath. And say,
‘I’m slow. Can you slow down with me
and just walk me through what is happening with you?’”

She was looking right at me.
And so I did—I slowed down.
And only later did I realize—
she was already slowing me down.
Already guiding me through a process.
Ericksonian hypnosis, in motion.
Not as a technique. But as a way of being.

Sometimes the wisdom is in the smallest shift.
The breath.
The cadence.
The invitation to meet, not manage.

That moment is still moving through me.

07/04/2025

Be kind to yourself! The first child you need to take care of is you!

We often expect people to calm down, use their words, and be patient long before they are fully capable of doing so.

Self-regulation is not just about behavior. It is about brain development and how children’s coping skills develop in relationship with others.

Here’s what we often misunderstand:

* Self-regulation is not the same as obedience. A quiet child is not necessarily self-regulated. They may be shutting down instead.

* Punishment does not teach self-regulation. Punishment only stops a behavior in the short-term, while teaching new skills and talking about feelings will lead to lasting change.

* Children cannot self-soothe without first experiencing co-regulation. They need responsive adults to guide them through big emotions over and over again before they can regulate independently.

What actually helps?

✔ Predictable yet flexible routines that reduce stress and uncertainty
✔ Emotional validation so children feel heard and supported
✔ Simple calming strategies like deep breathing and movement breaks
✔ Co-regulation where adults model self-regulation and provide a safe, calming presence

If self-regulation takes decades to develop, why do we expect perfection from preschoolers?

Swipe through this carousel to better understand self-regulation in early childhood.

How do you help children build self-regulation skills?
Let’s share ideas in Comments.

29/09/2024

Connection. It’s a word we often use—at work, at home, in business. But more often than not, we’re drawn to the idea of connection rather than its reality. Authentic interaction asks for more than conversation; it calls for courage in the spaces between words, for vulnerability in moments of silence.

But those spaces can be daunting. We fear the unknown and resist the discomfort of not having all the answers. We crave certainty, yet the deepest connections are often found in uncertainty. It’s easier to ask for clarity than to sit in the ambiguity of relational truth.

Someone once said, “we ask for honesty, but we aren’t ready to hear it.” True relationships—whether with colleagues, partners, or clients—require us to listen not just to what’s said, but to the truths that surface when nothing is spoken. Are we ready for that kind of depth?

Takeaways:

1. Real connection demands more than conversation; it requires vulnerability and presence.

2. Uncertainty in relationships isn’t something to fear—it’s where the deepest truths often lie.

3. To build meaningful connections, we must learn to listen to what’s unspoken.

13/09/2024

Could it be that we at times do not get the outcome that we want in our interactions because we communicate through blame?

What are the steps we can take to become more aware of our inner needs so that we can communicate more effectively?

Check out Audrey K | Clin Psych’s Story.

22/03/2023

Gone too soon 💔

Zoe Wilson🌸

-BA Psych Hons (UJ)
-Wellness Counsellor at ASCHP
-Runs Jalex Counselling and Jalex counselling academy

Psychjoy intends on bringing joy in Psychology again.
The speakers we have for this upcoming info session depict exactly that. It is so inspiring having people with such big accomplishments taking time to educate students within the Psychology field.

Zoe is currently completing her ODETDP. She is passionate about education and has found a way to integrate her qualification and passion in her career development.

Zoe runs a private practice called Jalex Counselling and Jalex Counselling Academy which provides CDP workshops for the Psychological and Counselling field. This will give students a platform to equip themselves for their ambitions and provide various options and steps, they have never considered before. We are so conditioned in thinking that there is only one route, but Zoe Wilson proves that with passion and hard work the sky is the limit. You are the determining factor of your own future.

Take the first step and join the PsychJoy Career Development Seminar this Saturday on webex for an opportunity to learn and interact with seasoned professionals🌼

21/02/2023

Sometimes simple does it

11/12/2022

I had a chance to give commentary on a very brave woman’s story. Trying to unpack the way in which any form of abuse robs us of the opportunity to express who we truly are. Watch it tonight at 8 pm on SABC 2.

11/12/2022

An intimate look at GBV tonight on SABC 2 at 8 pm tonight 🌸

17/11/2022

That realisation

11/10/2022

As people we seek to always have a sense of control and certainty.

We get anxious when things turn out different from what we imagined. So we come up with ways of trying to alleviate the anxiety of not knowing.

We find ways to create inner stability.

We set standards, boundaries and rules as self preserving mechanisms.

This is a way of protecting ourselves from hurt or disappointment. It’s also a way of avoiding what we fear.

What if mental wellness had more to do with being kind to yourself and behaving less from fear and more from self appreciation?

Maybe a starting point is giving yourself the appreciation that you deserve.

03/09/2022

We somehow have to strike a balance between the need to have control, and the ability to release. We need to be able to draw the line somewhere between what happens to us, and our reactions.

We are active agents in the process of any outcome, even though at times we are at the receiving end of sudden shifts we cannot control. A lot of people talk about embracing change as though it is easy. By all means no, it's not easy, but acknowledging that change takes place is a start.

Maybe we need to reflect on the coping mechanisms we adopted in order to deal with change. Are they healing or damaging? The compensatory behaviours, where do they take us? To escapist spaces, or to actively engaging with transitions?

We don't have a lot of control over the past or the future, but we have control in the here and now.

Let's meet somewhere, in the moment. And let's be fully present. I hope we truly listen and give our undivided attention, because that at least is in our control.