Melanie Anthony Psychology

09/12/2025

Some good advice.

The holiday season can be joyful — but it can also be stressful, overwhelming, or isolating, especially if you’re living with anxiety or depression. If parties, travel, family gatherings, or expectations feel like “too much,” you’re not alone.

A few ways to ease holiday stress:
• Let go of perfection and lower expectations
• Remember most people aren’t focused on you as much as you think
• Avoid using alcohol or substances to cope
• Set boundaries and say no when you need to
• Plan ahead for travel or busy events
• Talk with kids about what to expect to reduce their anxiety too

You deserve a season that feels manageable and meaningful — not stressful.
Read the full guide on navigating holiday anxiety and depression: https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/find-your-holiday-happiness

28/11/2025

Bang on the nose Brené Brown - Again!

Trying to feel worthy by chasing approval is exhausting. Brené Brown’s work cuts straight to the heart of this struggle, encouraging us to fully step into our own stories rather than standing outside, hustling for validation. She shows that real belonging and self-worth come when we stop avoiding our truths and start embracing them, imperfections included.

This approach aligns closely with Rachel Cargle, a contemporary writer and activist who centers vulnerability and self-awareness in her work on social justice and healing. Cargle talks about how embracing our full, complicated selves especially as women and people of color is essential to dismantling internalized shame and reclaiming power. Like Brown, she sees owning your story as a radical act of self-love and resistance.

In contrast, Roxane Gay offers a more ambivalent take on self-ownership. While she champions vulnerability and honesty, Gay also highlights how trauma, societal pressures, and internal conflicts can complicate the idea of fully “owning” your story. She reminds us that sometimes, parts of our stories feel fractured or even hostile to our sense of self, making the journey toward acceptance messy and nonlinear.

Still, Brené Brown’s invitation is both grounding and hopeful. She encourages us to stop exhausting ourselves by seeking worthiness outside and instead find it by stepping inside our stories, with all their flaws and beauty. It’s not about perfection but about showing up authentically. In doing so, we discover that worthiness isn’t something we have to chase - it’s always been inside us, waiting to be claimed.

IMAGE: BBeargTeam

09/11/2025

It will resonate with some of you.

Good women don’t have bad taste in men — it’s narcissistic men that have good taste in good women, because they know exactly who to target. They don’t chase chaos; they chase kindness. They seek out women with empathy, loyalty, and strength — the ones who forgive easily, love deeply, and see potential in people even when it’s buried under red flags. To a narcissist, a good woman isn’t just a partner; she’s an endless source of supply — admiration, emotional labor, and validation they could never give themselves.

At first, he studies her like a project. He mirrors her values, reflects her dreams, and pretends to be everything she’s ever prayed for. He listens, compliments, and pays attention to every detail. It’s not love — it’s data collection. He’s learning her triggers, her weaknesses, and what makes her light up so he can later control that light. To her, it feels like fate. To him, it’s strategy. Narcissists are rarely attracted to women who are weak; they want women strong enough to carry the relationship alone when things start to fall apart.

Soon, the mask starts to slip. The same man who once adored her now criticizes her. The compliments turn into comparisons, the listening turns into silent treatments, and the charm transforms into control. He begins to drain her confidence while convincing her that she’s the problem. And because she’s a good woman, she tries harder. She gives more, forgives more, and prays more — hoping that the man she met in the beginning is still somewhere inside. But the truth is, he never existed. He was only a reflection of who she is.

By the time she realizes what’s happening, she’s emotionally exhausted and mentally confused. She questions her worth, doubts her instincts, and starts to believe that maybe she really does have “bad taste in men.” But the reality is, she didn’t fall for a man — she fell for a performance. The narcissist wore her love like a costume, and when she finally saw behind the mask, she wasn’t looking at a lover, but an actor who thrived on her light.

So no, good women don’t have bad taste in men. Narcissistic men just have excellent taste in good women. They know the kind of heart that will keep loving even when it hurts. But here’s the power twist — once a good woman learns to love herself the way she used to love him, she becomes the one thing a narcissist can’t control or destroy. Her empathy turns into wisdom, her pain turns into strength, and her heart becomes her shield.

09/11/2025

Inspiring and heart warming 💓

With each year I become more grounded,
As my soul becomes more free,
I've grown roots that keep me stable,
I'm finally enjoying being me.

Life is now rich with simplicity,
I avoid the drama that some may bring,
I'm happy in my own company,
My heart has learned how to sing.

In each new silver hair I rejoice,
Aging is a blessing, some never know,
My journey has brought me so far,
And hopefully, still, some way to go.

I cherish each precious moment,
The laughter shared, the silent peace,
In every chapter, I now stand stoic,
With wisdom my worries cease.

So here's to the years that shape and mold,
With knowledge gained and stories to tell,
I embrace the path that I have walked,
In this seasoned body, I'm happy to dwell ..

🖋️C.E. Coombes
🎨 Credit to unknown artist

Serendipity Corner 🍂

07/11/2025

In the Quiet Spaces of Our Hearts

Even when they are gone,
their nearness hums in the quiet hours,
in the faint shimmer at the edge of night.

Loss awakens us to their presence,
to feel the warmth of our loved ones,
whose light lingers still.

Love does not vanish.
It changes form.
It becomes the pulse in the stars,
the hush before dawn,
the unseen hand that steadies us
when the world feels unsteady.

Those we love are not gone;
they remain near,
always beside us,
a soft light that never fades,
forever shining in the quiet spaces of our hearts.

~ 'In the Quiet Spaces of Our Hearts' by Spirit of a Hippie

✍️ Mary Anne Byrne

~ Art Olamik

26/10/2025

Gary Sturgis -Surviving Grief

05/10/2025

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
The only disorder where everyone ends up in therapy except for the person who should be in therapy. It’s the cruel irony of narcissism: the one creating the destruction often escapes accountability, while the people closest to them are left carrying scars they didn’t earn. The narcissist convinces the world they are harmless, even innocent, while those who loved them the most end up battling anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and trauma.

Narcissists thrive on control, manipulation, and power. They gaslight, twist words, and rewrite reality so skillfully that their victims begin to wonder if they’re the problem. They break you down piece by piece, yet somehow make you feel guilty for noticing. They play the role of the victim to outsiders while secretly being the cause of your pain behind closed doors.

Meanwhile, the partners, children, friends, and family members of narcissists spend months, years, sometimes decades in therapy—trying to untangle the confusion, rebuild their sense of self, and learn how to trust again. Therapy becomes the safe place where victims finally realize it wasn’t their fault, that the endless cycle of emotional highs and lows wasn’t love, and that the emptiness they feel was manufactured by someone incapable of true empathy.

And the narcissist? Rarely do they walk into therapy willingly. If they do, it’s often to manipulate the therapist, to pretend growth, or to use the process as another weapon against their victim. Because true accountability requires self-awareness, humility, and empathy—three things a narcissist avoids at all costs.

That is the tragedy of this disorder: the ones who never caused the harm end up doing all the healing, while the one who inflicted the wounds continues on, unchanged, repeating the cycle with someone new.

17/09/2025

I hope this helps those of you battling to get rid of 98 problems!

I had 99 problems, but getting rid of the Narcissist solved 98 of them. The relief and freedom that come with escaping a toxic relationship can be overwhelming. Suddenly, the constant stress, anxiety, and self-doubt start to dissipate, replaced by a sense of calm and clarity.

The weight of the narcissist's manipulation and control is lifted, and you're left to pick up the pieces of your own life. It's a chance to rediscover who you are, outside of the toxic dynamic. You can start to rebuild your sense of self, your confidence, and your emotional well-being.

The journey ahead won't be easy, but it's worth it. You'll have to navigate the healing process, confronting the trauma and pain inflicted by the narcissist. But with time, patience, and support, you can emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

You'll learn to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse, to set healthy boundaries, and to prioritize your own needs. You'll discover that you're capable of more than you ever thought possible and that you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness.

The experience may have been brutal, but the lessons learned and the growth that follows can be transformative. You'll come out the other side, scarred but wiser, with a newfound appreciation for the beauty of healthy relationships and the strength that lies within you.

08/09/2025

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go."
Dr. Seuss

Artist: Cat in the Hat from the collection of Animazing Gallery & Dr. Seuss Enterprises, L.

Paired by Whispers from the Heart

08/09/2025

Agreed!

07/09/2025

This explains so eloquently what I battle to define so often. Thank you.

You are trauma bonded when you don't like them anymore, when every interaction leaves you exhausted and emotionally raw, when they are actively or passively undermining your health and wellbeing, and when you are miserable yet still feel powerless to walk away. It’s when their words, actions, or absence keep you on edge, creating a cycle of hope and disappointment that keeps repeating no matter how much it hurts. You may find yourself questioning your own feelings, your own sense of reality, and even your own worth, as if the very thought of leaving them threatens something deep inside you.

Trauma bonding isn’t about love or loyalty—it’s about a deep psychological attachment formed in the presence of repeated emotional harm mixed with occasional moments of relief or affection. It’s the invisible chain that convinces you to stay even when staying is clearly damaging, the pattern that keeps you returning to someone who drains you emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically. You may feel anger, sadness, confusion, and fear all at once, and yet, part of you still clings to them, hoping for a different outcome, a different version of them, or simply fearing the emptiness of letting go.

Breaking free from a trauma bond is not as simple as deciding to leave—it requires acknowledging the cycle, understanding the grip it has on you, and reclaiming your power, piece by piece. And even though it feels impossible at times, it is possible. You can heal, you can detach, and you can rediscover yourself outside of their shadow.