Melanie Anthony Psychology

05/10/2025

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
The only disorder where everyone ends up in therapy except for the person who should be in therapy. It’s the cruel irony of narcissism: the one creating the destruction often escapes accountability, while the people closest to them are left carrying scars they didn’t earn. The narcissist convinces the world they are harmless, even innocent, while those who loved them the most end up battling anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and trauma.

Narcissists thrive on control, manipulation, and power. They gaslight, twist words, and rewrite reality so skillfully that their victims begin to wonder if they’re the problem. They break you down piece by piece, yet somehow make you feel guilty for noticing. They play the role of the victim to outsiders while secretly being the cause of your pain behind closed doors.

Meanwhile, the partners, children, friends, and family members of narcissists spend months, years, sometimes decades in therapy—trying to untangle the confusion, rebuild their sense of self, and learn how to trust again. Therapy becomes the safe place where victims finally realize it wasn’t their fault, that the endless cycle of emotional highs and lows wasn’t love, and that the emptiness they feel was manufactured by someone incapable of true empathy.

And the narcissist? Rarely do they walk into therapy willingly. If they do, it’s often to manipulate the therapist, to pretend growth, or to use the process as another weapon against their victim. Because true accountability requires self-awareness, humility, and empathy—three things a narcissist avoids at all costs.

That is the tragedy of this disorder: the ones who never caused the harm end up doing all the healing, while the one who inflicted the wounds continues on, unchanged, repeating the cycle with someone new.

05/10/2025

No better way of explaining how to let go of thistles.

“Pooh,” said Piglet softly, “how do you know when it’s time to step away from things that make you sad?”
Pooh thought about this very carefully, because it was a question that touched both the heart and the tummy, and those were the most important sorts of questions. “Well, Piglet,” he said, “sometimes you notice that certain places or certain thoughts feel too heavy, like carrying too many honey pots all at once. And then you remember—it’s all right to set some of them down.”
Piglet tilted his head. “But isn’t that leaving things behind?”
Pooh shook his head gently. “Not leaving, Piglet. Just choosing. Choosing to keep what makes you warm inside and putting down what makes your paws ache. Because even in the Hundred Acre Wood, not every path is meant for every day. Some paths lead to sunshine, and some only to thistles.”
Piglet gave a little sigh of relief. “So self-care is knowing which path to walk?”
“Exactly,” said Pooh. “It’s remembering that it’s not selfish to take care of your heart. Because when your heart is lighter, you have more to share with the friends who need you most.”
And with that, Pooh leaned back against the log, flower in hand, tea steaming beside him, and decided that the best kind of strength wasn’t carrying everything, but knowing when to carry less.

17/09/2025

I hope this helps those of you battling to get rid of 98 problems!

I had 99 problems, but getting rid of the Narcissist solved 98 of them. The relief and freedom that come with escaping a toxic relationship can be overwhelming. Suddenly, the constant stress, anxiety, and self-doubt start to dissipate, replaced by a sense of calm and clarity.

The weight of the narcissist's manipulation and control is lifted, and you're left to pick up the pieces of your own life. It's a chance to rediscover who you are, outside of the toxic dynamic. You can start to rebuild your sense of self, your confidence, and your emotional well-being.

The journey ahead won't be easy, but it's worth it. You'll have to navigate the healing process, confronting the trauma and pain inflicted by the narcissist. But with time, patience, and support, you can emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

You'll learn to recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse, to set healthy boundaries, and to prioritize your own needs. You'll discover that you're capable of more than you ever thought possible and that you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness.

The experience may have been brutal, but the lessons learned and the growth that follows can be transformative. You'll come out the other side, scarred but wiser, with a newfound appreciation for the beauty of healthy relationships and the strength that lies within you.

08/09/2025

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go."
Dr. Seuss

Artist: Cat in the Hat from the collection of Animazing Gallery & Dr. Seuss Enterprises, L.

Paired by Whispers from the Heart

08/09/2025

Agreed!

07/09/2025

This explains so eloquently what I battle to define so often. Thank you.

You are trauma bonded when you don't like them anymore, when every interaction leaves you exhausted and emotionally raw, when they are actively or passively undermining your health and wellbeing, and when you are miserable yet still feel powerless to walk away. It’s when their words, actions, or absence keep you on edge, creating a cycle of hope and disappointment that keeps repeating no matter how much it hurts. You may find yourself questioning your own feelings, your own sense of reality, and even your own worth, as if the very thought of leaving them threatens something deep inside you.

Trauma bonding isn’t about love or loyalty—it’s about a deep psychological attachment formed in the presence of repeated emotional harm mixed with occasional moments of relief or affection. It’s the invisible chain that convinces you to stay even when staying is clearly damaging, the pattern that keeps you returning to someone who drains you emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically. You may feel anger, sadness, confusion, and fear all at once, and yet, part of you still clings to them, hoping for a different outcome, a different version of them, or simply fearing the emptiness of letting go.

Breaking free from a trauma bond is not as simple as deciding to leave—it requires acknowledging the cycle, understanding the grip it has on you, and reclaiming your power, piece by piece. And even though it feels impossible at times, it is possible. You can heal, you can detach, and you can rediscover yourself outside of their shadow.

07/09/2025

I’m 70. One thing I’ve learned about life is this: people come and go, just like seasons. Some arrive like spring—bright, warm, full of promise. Others leave like winter storms—sudden, heavy, and without warning.

When I was younger, I thought everyone I loved would stay. Childhood friends, neighbors, even some family. But the truth is, many drifted away. Jobs took them. Time separated us. Distance turned into silence.

At first, it hurt. Every goodbye felt like a piece of me went missing. I used to sit on my porch, wondering if I had done something wrong, if I wasn’t enough to make people stay.

But then—something changed.

One evening, as the sun dipped low, my oldest friend, Clara, stopped by. We’ve known each other since we were twelve. We don’t talk every day, sometimes not even every month. But when she sat beside me, it felt like no time had passed. We laughed at the same old jokes, finished each other’s sentences, and for a moment, I realized: some people never really leave.

They may not always be with you, but they are for you.

And that’s when it clicked. Life isn’t about holding on to everyone—it’s about recognizing the few who hold on to you. The ones who answer the phone at midnight. The ones who remember your birthday without Facebook reminders. The ones who see your soul, not just your smile.

Now, when people drift away, I don’t chase them anymore. I let them go with love. Because the ones meant to stay—the true ones—will always find their way back to my porch light.

So if you feel lonely because someone left, remember this: life has a beautiful way of filtering who belongs. Not everyone is meant to stay forever. But the ones who do? They’re worth more than a thousand who don’t.

At 70, I can tell you this with all my heart—
Don’t count the ones who left. Cherish the ones who stayed. That’s where your real story is. ❤️

24/08/2025

🔗 https://bit.ly/4oGqC8P
Emotional connections formed with an abuser are known as trauma bonds — and healing is possible with the right support.

These bonds can create mixed feelings toward a partner, where moments of manipulation are followed by periods of affection. For those with a history of insecure attachments, this can lead to repeating unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward breaking the cycle and beginning to heal.