25/11/2025
Hey there SC peeps 🌞🏖🌊 (Enjoy the read 🤪)
A glimpse into the life of a GP in an AI ruled society...📲🤳 ... How I dream of LIFE BEFORE CELLPHONES WERE DOCTORS 🤪🕰️
Back then, like in Grey's Anatomy, doctors juggled surgeries and symptoms, like pros. I also scratched my head and went through BOOKS 📖... 🏥 No apps...
It used to be just patients spilling their feelings, their symptoms. We’d chat, I’d examine, maybe ask for a blood test or two💉, and...problem solved with good old trust, knowledge and common sense. 📞🗣️ ❤️
Doctoring was as straightforward as unfolding an old paper map...Off you went on your finger traced route, with no adverts popping up 🗺️💪
But oh boy, then the digital avalanche hit...
A day to day example would be for instance using Waze or Google Maps 🟨🛣 :
✅️The one route promises a 45-minute joyride dodging tolls or construction (because of a new pipeline 🤣😝🚧).
✅️The next route looks enticing with an estimate of 38 minutes flat, but with warnings of speed traps lurking like nosy in-laws 👀 👮♂️🚔.
Go and tweak your search with "avoid highways" and suddenly there's a brand-new adventure where you find yourself looking for petrol ⛽️ stations or a loo 🚻 🚽....🤣
Let's be real...we all use these "MAP APPS", they are handy if you actually know your destination...but you might end up driving around in circles, arriving cranky and convinced the APP has not been updated😩 😵💫
Now, flip this fiasco to AI symptom search...you've got an instant blockbuster that not even Spielberg could dream up...🎬🎥
OVERNIGHT patients have turned into online gurus using there phones like a detective 🫣🤔🤯. You enter "fatigue" and get a diagnoses explosion of Dehydration, Iron-Defiency Anaemia, or some exotic Alaskan Sea Tiger Syndrome (no, that's not real 🤣) 💥😱
This, my dear peeps, is called...
CYBERCHONDRIA...and it's WORSE than that bug 🐛 from China 🚷😷
It is the term that has been given to that sinking anxiety you feel when you find 20 possible diagnosises after the 2nd click...And it's VERY real... 😟 👀😑
But here's the hilarious hitch: AI just parrots 🦜your fear back at you, like an echo from your OWN THOUGHTS 🤔 💭
Put in key words like "one-sided face drop" and it pops up "STROKE" on the first click... 🤯😱
After that, you find yourself scrolling through every AI generated post that says "Read Next" 🤓untill you end nd up finding out that P!nk is running for president (which isn't true 🤣).
But NOWHERE in your search do the most obvious things stand out big enough for you to go "Ahhhhh" there it is...such as:
✅️Sinus Infection,
✅️Bell's palsy (A nerve glitch cured with rest and meds), or
✅️Shingles...crashing the party like an uninvited rash.
A headache? AI will manage to bring your worst nightmare to life, changing your minor pain into a tumor 😱.
Did you really have pain shooting down your entire left side, or did it magically appear after AI played hypochondriac Pacman 🧐🍒?
Back in the good ol' days (yes, I'm nostalgic!), I could predict patient consults like a Gypsy psychic...I'd grab the "YOU" magazine and find the "Thyroid" article. In an instant I'd know what I'd be seeing in my office the following week...😁
Fast-forward to now, and it's a full-blown FBI manhunt 🕵️♀️🌀 You stroll in with a list of symptom, copied from AI, and I play spot-the-fake phrases like "persistent fatigue, shifting weight and brittle nails" ....I mean really... WHO SAYS BRITTLE or shifting. It used to be "My nails are breaking" or "I'm just getting fatter by the day💭🤷🏼♀️ l??
Suddenly I'm not just a doctor anymore...I've also had to become an BAU profiler and hound dog 🐕 🤷🏼♀️🤣
That statin speech you just gave me, because your aunt twice removed, sent you a FB video to watch 📹 by "Dr. AFX" 🤪🙄 Did you fact-check if he's a medical doctor or is he or she maybe a geologist with a PhD, dishing out his opinion like it's medical gold🪨👎?
Lastly, we have the new SERIOUS BREAKOUT called "The Laboratory Apps"!! YOUR OWN RESULTS IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND...weaponised by AI research...!
I might just be out of a job soon... 🤯🫣💥... coz everyone is "dying" after all...😉🤣🤦♀️
Suddenly all my patients are turning into Professor Doctor Sherlock. 🔍 Red Cells that are off by 0.02 becomes an instant meltdown and frantic phone calls to Caz and Courtney... because Dr Z missed my diagnosis!!!! 😵💫 Yet, I've already reviewed your results, considered everything "in the bigger scheme of things" and made notes that all is normal🤦♀️😉🤷🏼♀️...coz they actually are.
And then, to top things...in strolls my 55-year-old, 160kg diabetic dude who couldn't give a continental with sugars at 12, grinning like he won the lotto, blind to risks like his kidneys can fail...
Did you ever consider BASIC REAL LIFE culprits behind your problems? 🤷♀️
✅️Like, is that headache a muscle spasm from computer-staring marathons for work and exam time or even maybe just life stressing you out? 💻😓
✅️Or hey, maybe you're packing extra kilos because you lovvve that "healthy" whole wheat bread...🍞⚖️
✅️Stiff neck in the morning?? Maybe it's that old pillow, or a soft mattress 🛏️😤 .
✅️"Kidney infection"? Could be plain old backache from a weekend of cleaning and moving furniture. 🧹💪
Honestly now...you are NOT going to double check your Granny's koffie tert 🍮🍰 recipe against AI...are you 😉? So why come into my office with an arsenal of symptoms that you don't really have...
As your GP, I'm asking...cut out the nonsense and go back to basics. AI's meant to simplify life, such as setting reminders...not turn everyone into instant Doctors 😷🚫 !
Ditch the AI detective investigation before your random search lands you in Narnia 🦁🤪🌈
We love you all dearly and with the silly season upon us, we just wanna let you know that we've got your back!! 🥰
Office Hours ⏰️
Monday to Thursday: 07:00 - 16:00
Fridays: 07:00 - 11:00
📱066 237 4548
Love and Health🥰🌈🏖🌊
Dr Z, Caz and Courtney