Francois Esterhuizen

Francois Esterhuizen Marriage counselling and life coaching. Skills, tips and training for better relationships.

02/01/2026

You will not hear a sentence that captures non-judgement and boundaries more clearly than this one.
Accept people as they are, and then place them where they belong.

Acceptance does not mean tolerance.
It does not mean access.
It simply means you stop arguing with reality.

When you accept people as they are, you stop trying to fix them, rescue them, or wait for them to become someone else.
And when you place them where they belong, you take responsibility for your own limits, values, and wellbeing.

This is how you stay compassionate without abandoning yourself.
This is how you keep your heart open without letting everything walk through the door.

Boundaries are not punishment.
They are clarity.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

01/01/2026

“What is possible?” sounds like a simple question, but it is one of the most uncomfortable ones you can sit with.

The moment you ask it honestly, it opens up too many options.
Growth. Change. Risk. Responsibility.
And with that comes uncertainty.

Staying safe and familiar feels easier.
Not because it is better, but because it asks less of you.
The familiar costs you comfort.
The possible costs you courage.

Most people do not avoid growth because they lack potential.
They avoid it because they are not ready to face what might be required of them if they admit what is possible.

But the question does not go away.
It waits.
And when you are ready to stop choosing comfort over truth, it becomes the doorway to your next chapter.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

18/12/2025

I’m at the dentist today because my crown came loose.
It was uncomfortable, inconvenient, and I dealt with it immediately.

When something external breaks, we act fast.
We book the appointment.
We fix the problem.
We don’t negotiate with the discomfort.

But when something internal comes undone, we wait.
Loss of motivation.
Emotional exhaustion.
Resentment.
Feeling stuck or disconnected.
We tell ourselves it’s fine. We’ll deal with it later.

Internal setbacks are quieter, but they cause more damage over time.
Because while you wait, you keep living on top of the problem.
You compensate. You cope. You normalise discomfort.

Self-leadership is knowing when to attend to what is happening inside you, not just what is visible on the outside.
If something feels off, address it while it’s still manageable.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

11/12/2025

Gratitude becomes a hiding place when you use it to avoid the thing you are actually afraid to face.
You tell yourself, “I should just be grateful,” not because the gratitude is genuine, but because it protects you from taking the next step you know you need to take.

People hide in gratitude when they are scared of change.
Scared of pursuing something bigger.
Scared of outgrowing a situation that feels familiar.
It is easier to say “I’m grateful” than to admit “I’m afraid.”

Gratitude is healthy when it grounds you.
It becomes unhealthy when it limits you.
When it keeps you small.
When it stops you from making the move your future actually needs from you.

You are allowed to be grateful and still want more.
You are allowed to outgrow things you once thanked life for.
Gratitude should steady you, not trap you.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

10/12/2025

Most people ask, “How creative am I?”
But that is the wrong question.
The better question is, “How can I be creative?”

You are creating all the time.
You create ideas, conversations, solutions, plans, clarity, connections.
Creativity is not limited to art.
It is any moment where something inside you becomes something outside you.

Instead of measuring your creativity, start noticing where it already lives.
Maybe it is in the way you problem-solve, organise, explain, design, write, or bring order to chaos.
Your creativity shows up wherever your mind naturally comes alive.

And stop judging it before you express it.
Creativity grows through use, not perfection.
Try things. Make things. Explore.
Your uniqueness becomes visible the moment you allow yourself to create without apologising for it.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

09/12/2025

Most people talk about building a better future, but very few take responsibility for the two things that actually shape it: time and money.

Start with your time.
Not all time is equal. Some of it is wasted, some of it is spent, and some of it is invested.
Wasted time leaves you emptier.
Spent time leaves you exactly where you started.
Invested time moves your life forward in a measurable way.
If you want a different future, start investing your time instead of scattering it. Look at your days honestly. Where does your time actually go, and does any of it serve the life you say you want?

Then take responsibility for your money.
Too many people outsource this completely, assuming that professionals, advisors, or institutions will automatically make the best decisions on their behalf. But no one will ever care about your financial future as much as you do.
Learn how your money works.
Learn what you are paying for.
Learn where your money grows and where it leaks.
Clarity with money is not a luxury. It is self-leadership.

Your future is not built by hope or intention.
It is built by how you use your time and how you manage your money.
Take responsibility for both, and you take responsibility for your life.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

08/12/2025

Most people look for the wrong signs when they ask what they should stop tolerating.
They look for what annoys them.
But annoyances are not the real problem.
What actually costs you is what drains you.

Annoyances come and go.
But the things that drain you leave you feeling smaller, heavier, or unsettled every time you allow them.
This is how you know something should no longer have access to your life.

And the uncomfortable truth is this:
You are the one who has to withdraw.
You are the one who has to step back from certain situations, certain circles, certain dynamics that take more than they give.
Waiting for them to change keeps you stuck.
Choosing differently is what frees your energy.

Pay attention to what drains you.
That is where your next boundary belongs.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

05/12/2025

The end of the year does not drain you because you are doing too much.
It drains you because your mind is juggling too many open loops at once.
Deadlines, plans, loose ends, social plans you regret, things you still “should” do.
It is not burnout. It is cognitive clutter.

Take half an hour and empty your mind onto paper.
List every task, responsibility, and lingering decision.
When it is visible, it stops spinning.

Then sort it with honesty.
Eliminate what does not matter.
Postpone what is not urgent.
Automate what can run without you.
Delegate what someone else can do just as well.

Your energy returns when your brain stops juggling everything and starts operating from structure.
Motivation follows clarity.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

04/12/2025

Feeling comfortable being alone starts with doing the opposite of what you normally do.
Instead of escaping the discomfort, you turn toward it.

Most people distract themselves the moment the quiet arrives, but the discomfort is there to show you something.
Sit with it and ask, What am I feeling?
What am I thinking?
Name it without trying to fix it.

Once you’ve named it, get curious.
Why am I feeling this?
Why am I thinking this?
Often the fear of being alone is not about the aloneness itself. It is about the thoughts and emotions that surface when nothing is there to drown them out.

When you stop running from the discomfort and start listening to it, solitude becomes less threatening and more revealing.
You learn that the discomfort was never there to punish you. It was there to teach you.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

03/12/2025

You do not need to stop needing validation.
You just need to stop outsourcing it to everyone.

Most people feel powerless because every opinion lands with the same weight.
They let strangers, acquaintances, colleagues, and passing comments shape how they see themselves.
The problem is not validation.
The problem is that the wrong people have access to your worth.

Be intentional about who is allowed to validate you.
Let it come from people who know you, understand you, and want the best for you.
Not from the crowd.
Not from people who do not carry any part of your life with you.

And then bring the authority back to yourself.
Ask, Do I approve of how I showed up?
Did I act with honesty, alignment, and responsibility?
If yes, external validation becomes a bonus, not a requirement.

You stop needing validation from others when your own voice becomes your primary reference point.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

02/12/2025

A setback only destroys your self-esteem when you turn it into a statement about who you are.
It is not identity. It is information.
It shows you where your current skill, belief, or strategy reached its limit. Nothing more.

Self-esteem does not return through positive thinking.
It returns through small wins.
One task completed. One step taken. One moment where you prove to yourself that you can still move.
Confidence is rebuilt by competence, not affirmation.

And the biggest shift is this:
Stop judging yourself and start taking responsibility.
Judgement attacks your worth.
Responsibility adjusts your approach.
The first keeps you stuck. The second gets you moving again.

A setback is not the end of your confidence.
It is the beginning of clarity.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

01/12/2025

You will always feel like a burden if you believe your needs are wrong.
That belief is the real problem, not the need itself.

Most people who struggle with this have two sets of rules.
Other people’s needs are fine. Helping them feels natural.
But your own needs? Those feel selfish, inconvenient, or immature.
So you try to be completely independent, calling it responsibility, when it is actually avoidance.

The moment you do need something, the guilt arrives.
Not because the need is unreasonable, but because you trained yourself to believe you should never have one.

Needing support is not being a burden.
It is being human.
And the sooner you allow that truth, the sooner the guilt begins to fade.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

Address

Stellenbosch

Opening Hours

Monday 09:00 - 21:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 18:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 18:00
Thursday 09:00 - 17:00
Friday 09:00 - 12:00

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Francois Esterhuizen posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Francois Esterhuizen:

Shortcuts

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram