Everything Family

29/05/2025

Make a date!

13/05/2025

"Precious in the sight of the Lord
is the death of his saints."
(Psalm 116:15)
Go well my dear sister and friend.

08/05/2025

I got 100 reactions and comments on one of my posts last week! Thanks everyone for your support! 🎉

28/04/2025

A Blissful Retreat: Nurturing Marriages at KUZIPA
By Pastor Saidi and Mrs. Maureen Chansongo Chishimba

From April 25th to 28th, 2025, KUZIPA played host to a truly magnificent marriage retreat that left couples rejuvenated, enlightened, and yearning for more. As the invited speakers, we, the Chishimbas, were honored to guide participants through six enriching sessions that covered a spectrum of vital topics.

The retreat was a serene setting with love-filled air mingled with the scent of fresh possibilities. Couples gathered eagerly, their faces alight with anticipation, ready to delve into topics such as "Partnership in Marriage", "Making a Difference as a Couple within the Community of Your Influence" and “The exposition of Ephesians 5:21-33.” The retreat's carefully planned program addressed the perfect blend of spiritual and practical aspects of married life.

One of the highlights was an eye-opening exploration of intimacy and s*x within the context of Christian marriage, viewed through the lens of African culture and tradition. This session bridged the gap between age-old practices and modern Christian values, unveiling a treasure trove of wisdom that had long been overlooked. Couples left with a newfound appreciation for their heritage and its harmonious coexistence with their walk with God.

The joy-filled laughter echoing across the grounds as couples engaged in physical workouts together was fantabulous. Partners cheered each other on, discovering new facets of their relationship through sweat and determination. The sight of spouses supporting one another, both literally and figuratively, was truly heartwarming. As they returned to their chalets with aching muscles and beaming smiles, the bonds of matrimony seemed visibly strengthened.

The obstacle course challenges added an element of playful competition to the retreat. Each game was thoughtfully designed to mirror real-life marital hurdles, fostering resilience and teamwork. Couples navigated these challenges hand-in-hand, their shared triumphs a metaphor for overcoming life's obstacles together.

The retreat's atmosphere was electric with positivity. Friendships blossomed between couples as they shared experiences, asked insightful questions, and supported one another's growth. The air buzzed with laughter and animated discussions, creating a vibrant community of learners and lovers.

A particularly memorable event was the "Paint and Chew" session. The serene forest was filled with couples, paintbrushes in one hand and snacks in the other, creating colorful representations of their marriages. The resulting artworks were a kaleidoscope of emotions and experiences, each canvas telling a unique love story. Some couples, more adept at the "chew" than the "paint," provided comic relief with their artistic attempts.

As the four days drew to a close, there was a palpable sense of transformation among the participants. Couples departed with renewed vigor, their marriages fortified by shared experiences and newfound knowledge. The retreat may have ended, but its impact promised to resonate in homes and hearts for years to come.

For us, the Chishimbas, this experience was equally enriching. We found ourselves not just teachers but fellow learners, inspired by the dedication and love we witnessed. Our gratitude extends to the attentive couples, the gracious hosts at KUZIPA, and above all, to God's hands that brought us all together.

As we look forward to next year's retreat, we carry with us the warmth of new friendships, the inspiration of strengthened marriages, and the joy of lives touched. KUZIPA has truly set a new standard for marriage retreats, creating a haven where love is celebrated, nurtured, and renewed.

28/04/2025

MARITAL PARTNERSHIP!
Maureen Chansongo Chishimba

How do you view your spouse? As an opponent in a chess match or a partner in a doubles game of tennis? Marriage is fundamentally a partnership, akin to teammates collaborating in a sport.

The dynamics of marital partnership can be likened to a motorcyclist and his passenger. Unlike car occupants who can ignore each other, the biker and passenger must actively collaborate for a safe, meaningful journey. Similarly, marriage demands serious engagement between spouses; failure to do so inevitably leads to negative consequences.
Here are four questions worth musing upon if a couple is to appreciate marital partnership:

1. Where does this idea of marital partnership come from? This concept of marital partnership is rooted in biblical teachings. In Genesis 2:22-25, God's creation of Eve to alleviate Adam's loneliness established the divine ordination of marital partnership. Amos 3:3 further reinforces this idea, stating, "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" This principle is symbolized in wedding ceremonies when couples declare vows, entering into a marital covenant.

2. Can spouses set different agendas and goals while maintaining a marital partnership? As partners, spouses should maintain a unified agenda and goals. Biblical examples like Abraham and Sarah in the Old Testament and Priscilla and Aquila in the New Testament demonstrate this unity in action.

3. Can marital partnership be attacked, challenged, and damaged? The evil one, through various ways, does challenge this partnership. External influences such as extended family members, children, careers, friends, and the temptation of extramarital affairs are usually used. These avenues underscore the importance of cultivating a mindset that views one's spouse as a partner, friend, and teammate.

4. What characterizes a successful marital partnership? Successful marriages thrive when couples actively work together, supporting each other through life's journey. This partnership involves open communication, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to overcoming obstacles together. By practicing this collaborative spirit, couples can build stronger and more resilient marriages.

In conclusion, the essence of a thriving marriage lies in embracing the concept of partnership. When spouses view each other as partners rather than enemies or competitors, they create a foundation for a fulfilling, long-lasting marriage. By prioritizing teamwork, mutual support, and shared goals, couples can navigate the complexities of life together, strengthening their bond and enriching their marital journey. Remember, in the game of marriage, you and your spouse are on the same team, working together as partners towards a common victory.

22/04/2025

*Marriage: A Breath of Fresh Air*
We commemorated Easter by celebrating our friends(Ian and Ruth)’ marriage in a typical African style. A breath of fresh air it was!
Ever wonder what marriage is all about? Marriage is far more than just a feeling. Genesis 2:24 (Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh) affirms it. Here are eight nuggets for you to muse upon.

1. When the Lord presented Eve to Adam, he said or did nothing about premarital counseling. This is not to say counseling is unnecessary. Rather, knowledge of marriage is part of our nature. God has woven into our fabric. We instinctively know a marriage when we see it, rejoice when it is ceremonized, and get affected when it goes wrong.

2. "A man." This means maturity matters: It's not just about age, folks! It’s about emotional, spiritual, economic, and social readiness to take on life's challenges together. Being prepared to be your spouse’s pillar in a posture of responsibility and accountability to your comparable self.

3. "Leaves." This means transition time: it is about saying goodbye to flying solo! To choose to step up and create your own little kingdom together. No more "But Mom said..." – it's all about what you two decide as a team; you establish your own authority under God.

4. "Father and mother." This means family foundations: It’s about beholding your parents' relationship as your starter pack! Use their good stuff as inspiration for your own love story. Your former home was essential for your preparation as a model for your own home.

5. "Hold fast or cleave." This means an unbreakable bond: It is far beyond mere thrilling words in a vow. It demands the superglue-level commitment. Bring your A-game to this lifelong partnership! The ever-tightening of the covenantal establishment.

6. "To his wife." This means equal partners: Brothers, she is not just an arm candy; she is the real deal! Your wife is your equal, your partner-in-virtue, your better half. She is both your other self and God’s daughter. Treat her like the queen she is!

7. "And they shall become." This means growing together: Buckle up for a lifetime of learning and discovering the extent and expanse of the union. Trust that your friendship will deepen with every passing day, blending as one. Death is the only thing strong enough to break this bond!

8. "One flesh." This means intimate connection: this is where the magic happens, people! It's that deep, exclusive bond that only married couples share. Cherish it, nurture it, and watch your love grow.

Why is this of any importance? Because your marriage is a masterpiece, a glorious adventure designed, supported, and protected by God. Therefore, whether you're just starting out or have been at it for a while, your marriage is a beautiful thing. Treat it with the respect and care it deserves. Celebrate it, cherish it, and watch it flourish!

14/04/2025

Marital Love: Lessons from Older Couples

Ever wonder what the secret sauce is for a lasting marriage? Look no further than the couples who've been married longer than you've been alive! These veterans have a wealth of wisdom to share. They have mastered the art of long-term love. Here are five things we have gleaned from them over the years:

1. Commitment: The Unsung Superpower
In a world of flamboyant romances, older couples show us the incredible strength of sticking together. They've learned that love isn't just butterflies and heart-eyes emojis; it's a daily choice to stand by each other, come what may. When the going gets tough, these couples don't look for the exit – they hold on tighter.
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mar 10:9

2. The Forgiveness Factor
It's interesting to watch a couple who's been married for 50 years still giggling together. They've mastered the art of letting go. These wise owls know that humans aren't perfect, and holding grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. Their secret? A hearty dose of forgiveness sprinkled freely and often.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Eph 4:32

3. Faith: The Invisible Thread
Many long-lasting couples have nurtured spiritual foundations. They've found that having God at the center of their marriage creates a bond that's stronger than any challenge life throws their way. It's like having a built-in marital counselor available 24/7!
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecc 4:12

4. Love in the Little Things
Forget grand gestures and expensive gifts – veteran couples know that true love lives in the everyday moments. A warm smile across the breakfast table, remembering how they like their coffee, or a gentle squeeze of the hand during a tough day – these small acts of kindness are the building blocks of lasting love.
“Let all that you do be done in love.” – 1 Cor 16:14

5. Rolling with the Seasons
Just like Mother Nature, love has its seasons. Older couples have learned to weather the storms and bask in the sunshine, knowing that both are essential parts of the journey. They don't freak out when things get a little chilly because they know spring is just around the corner.
“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.” – Ecc 3:1

So, young couples, while you're scrolling through marital goals on social media, consider chatting with that adorable elderly couple in the church or in the family. Their love story might not be trending, but it's stood the test of time. Go to them and learn.

Which of these nuggets of wisdom speaks to you? Share your thoughts, and let's celebrate the magic of enduring love!

08/04/2025

BUILDING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. Mark 10:9

Do you long to grow closer to your spouse—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually? Here are practical and biblical ways to nurture deeper connection in your marriage:

• Have Deep, Honest Conversations
Share your heart, dreams, fears, and plans. Secrets create distance. Openness draws you closer.
Let your conversation be always full of grace… – Colossians 4:6

• Listen with Empathy
Don’t just hear—seek to understand. Listen with patience, not just for a reply.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak…– James 1:19

• Prioritize Quality Time
Take time off to be together—no phones, no distractions. Even a few quiet hours matter.Out for a drink or ice cream
There is a time for everything… – Ecclesiastes 3:1

• Be Real and Vulnerable
Marriage thrives on authenticity. Be seen, known, and loved for who you truly are.
f either of them falls, one can help the other up.– Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

• Pray Together
Spiritual connection fuels emotional intimacy. Pray for and with each other regularly.
Let your partner hear you pray for them.
Where two or three gather in my name…– Matthew 18:20

• Resolve Conflicts Quickly
Don’t let small issues grow. Address them with love—before the day ends.Picture no sound is unhealthy..
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.– Ephesians 4:26

• Show Loving Touch
Hug. Hold hands. Kiss often. Loving touch keeps the spark alive—yes, even in public!
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth…– Song of Solomon 1:2

• Protect Your Bond
Guard your relationship from emotional neglect and outside temptations.
“Above all else, guard your heart…” – Proverbs 4:23
Don’t play with fire. If you’re hiding chats from your spouse, you’ve already stepped into dangerous ground. As one quote says, “Deleting a message to hide it from your spouse is the beginning of foolishness called cheating.”

Your marriage is a precious gift. Invest in it—emotionally, spiritually, and practically.

Which one will you work on this week?

31/03/2025

Healing Conflict in Marriage: A Biblical Perspective

Marriage is a beautiful journey of love, companionship, and growth.
But like any close relationship, it comes with its share of challenges,disagreements, misunderstandings, and unmet expectations can create tension between husband and wife.
However, God’s Word offers wisdom and encouragement to help couples navigate conflict with grace and love.

Every marriage experiences conflict. It’s not a sign of failure but an opportunity for growth.
Sounds strange that growth happens in failure 🤔.

What are the common causes of conflict?

• Differences in communication styles – One spouse may prefer talking things through(common in women), while the other processes emotions quietly(common in men) Proverbs 18:13.

• Unmet expectations – Disappointments arise when spouses expect the other to fulfill needs only God can truly meet Jeremiah 17:7.
What you envisioned differs
from reality.
• Selfishness and pride – Clinging to personal desires instead of prioritizing the relationship James 4:1-2.

• Unresolved hurts – Holding onto past wounds instead of seeking healing Ephesians 4:26-27.

The good news is that God has provided a way to handle these struggles with love, patience, and forgiveness.

Biblical Principles for Resolving Conflict with Love

1. Speak with Kindness and Respect

Words have the power to heal or to hurt. When conflict arises, choosing gentle and thoughtful words can make all the difference.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

2. Listen with an Open Heart

Sometimes, the best way to resolve a disagreement is simply to listen. Understanding your spouse’s feelings and perspective shows love and respect.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. James 1:19.

3. Choose Forgiveness Over Resentment

Holding onto grudges only creates distance. True love seeks to forgive, just as Christ has forgiven us.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

4. Seek Peace, Not Victory

Winning an argument is never more important than protecting the love and unity of your marriage. The goal should always be reconciliation, not proving who is right.
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.Hebrews 12:14

5. Pray Together and Invite God into the Conflict

Prayer changes hearts. Bringing your struggles before God strengthens your marriage and reminds you that you are a team, not opponents.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

A Marriage Anchored in Love

No marriage is perfect, but with God’s help, conflicts can become stepping stones to deeper love and understanding. The key is to approach disagreements with humility, grace, and a heart that seeks peace.

Reflection:

• Is there an area in your marriage where God is calling you to extend more grace and patience?

• How can you actively practice forgiveness and love in your relationship today?

Through God’s love, every conflict can be an opportunity to grow closer, not just to each other, but to Him.

24/03/2025

Graceful Tongues : Speaking Life into Your Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful covenant, but communication can either strengthen or weaken that bond. The Bible says,
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” (Proverbs 18:21)

Every word we speak to our spouse has an impact. It can build them up, encourage their heart, or cause wounds that take time to heal. So, how do we ensure that our words bring life, not destruction?

1. Speak Words of Affirmation

Everyone longs to be appreciated, and our spouse is no exception. A simple, sincere compliment can make their day.
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Say: "I appreciate the way you lead our family." / "Thank you for all you do for us."

2.Speak Words of Encouragement

Life gets tough, but your words can be the encouragement your spouse needs to keep going.
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Proverbs 16:24)
"I believe in you! With God’s help, you will overcome this."

3.Speak Words of Reconciliation

Conflict is part of every marriage, but how we respond determines if it draws us closer or pushes us apart.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

Say: "I’m sorry for how I spoke earlier. Please forgive me."

4.Speak Words of Love and Affection

Never assume your spouse knows how much you love them—say it often and mean it!
“Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)
Say: "I love you, and I’m grateful to God for you."

5.Speak Words of Daily Connection

Checking in with your spouse daily keeps the relationship fresh and intimate.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Say: "How was your day?" / "Is there anything I can do for you?"

6.Speak Words of Prayer and Blessing

The greatest words we can speak over our spouse are prayers and blessings.
“The Lord bless you and keep you.” (Numbers 6:24)
Say: "May God give you wisdom and peace today, my love."

Final Thought

The words we choose matter. They can heal or hurt, bring peace or cause tension. Today, let’s commit to speaking life into our marriages!

Married couples, what words have strengthened your relationship? Share in the comments!

17/03/2025

Communication in Marriage

Ever had a moment where you and your spouse just weren’t on the same page? Maybe you said something with good intentions, but it was misunderstood. Or you felt unheard, frustrated, or even disconnected.

Marriage isn’t just about love—it’s about understanding each other deeply. And that starts with communication! Here are tips to help you and your spouse connect better, resolve conflicts, and grow closer.

1 Listen to Understand, Not Just to Respond

Be honest—when your spouse talks, are you really listening or just waiting for your turn to speak? Real listening means giving full attention, asking thoughtful questions, and seeking to understand.

Challenge: Next time your spouse talks, put your phone down, maintain eye contact, and truly listen!Don't judge them listen..
"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." (James 1:19)

2 Choose Words That Heal, Not Hurt

Words have power! The way you speak to your spouse can either build them up or tear them down. Even in frustration, choose words that bring peace, not tension.

Instead of saying, “You never help me,” say, “I feel overwhelmed and I would appricate your help.” See the difference?
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

3 Express Your Needs Clearly - No Code-Reading

Your spouse can’t read your mind! Many conflicts come from unspoken expectations. Instead of assuming they should just know, communicate openly and honestly.
Instead of “I wish you cared more,” say “It would mean a lot if we could spend some time together.” Direct, loving, and clear no codes or proverbs.
"Speaking the truth in love, we will grow..." (Ephesians 4:15)

4 Don’t Let Conflict Linger – Resolve It Wisely and Timely

Let’s be real brethren,disagreements will happen. But the key is how you handle them. Silent treatment(Picture no sound), yelling, or digging up past mistakes? Are not helpful. Intentionally focus on solutions, not blame.
NEVER go to bed angry. Talk about it , pray together, and leave room for grace.
"Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry." (Ephesians 4:26-27)

5 Make Time for Meaningful Conversations

Life is busy, but don’t let your marriage run on autopilot! Daily check-ins, date nights,staycations,vacations,picnics, and deep real talks keep the connection alive.
For example: “What’s one thing that made you smile today?” Small questions lead to big connections!
"Two are better than one… If either falls down, one can help the other up." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

Let’s Chat!

Which of these 5 keys do you need to work on most in your marriage? Drop a comment below! Let’s grow together.

Tag your spouse if you want to try these together.(I have tagged mine 😊)

Unworthy instruments in the hands of a holy God to transform families and individuals to become better family members in the Lord.

14/04/2024