23/01/2024
HOW TO KEEP YOUR SPOUSE FROM BEING INSECURE
1. KEEP NO SECRETS
Secrets make your partner feel uneasy and suspicious of you. Be open and transparent
2. DON'T FLIRT WITH OTHERS
Many flirt and argue it is not cheating as long as they don't have s*x with others. But flirting is the first level of cheating, why speak and write to others things you should only be saying to your partner? Your partner will think if you can flirt, may be you are or will do more unfaithful things
3. SAY 'I LOVE YOU' OFTEN
Affirm your partner. Tell your partner of your love when you end a phone call, when you kiss, out of the blue, in the middle of a conversation. If you affirm your love less or you stay too long without saying it or your partner must ask you 'Do you love me?' for you to say it; your partner will become insecure
4. KNOW EACH OTHER'S FRIENDS AND FAMILY
When you are known to each other's close bonds it acts as security, that what you have is something serious and surrounded by the closest people in life. When your partner only spends time with you and feels hidden from your family and friends, he/ she will begin to feel like a secret love whose position in your life and heart is not cemented
5. DON'T COMPLIMENT ANOTHER PERSON MORE THAN YOU COMPLIMENT YOUR SPOUSE
It's OK to give genuine compliments to people and appreciate others, but your partner should be the target of your lavish compliments. When you talk highly about others and praise them above your partner, your partner will feel little in your eyes
6. KEEP YOUR EX AT A DISTANCE
An ex can become a big threat in your love. Your partner needs to feel safe by you keeping your ex at a distance. It's OK to keep contact with your ex if you must, perhaps if you have a child together or maybe even remain distant friends. But if your ex still makes moves on you, kill any form of communication
7. DECLARE YOUR LOVE PUBLICLY
Public display of love offers security; when you introduce your partner as "This is my man/ woman/ husband/ wife" Don't let your partner feel relegated to the level of other people. If you are a couple act like couples, be seen cozy together, people should assume you are a couple even before you tell them. Either you are in or not, don't make the excuse that you are keeping your partner a secret because people will try to come between you two or you are shielding yourself from shame and ridicule in case you two break up
8. APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU WRONG
Saying sorry makes your partner feel you care about his/ her feelings and makes your partner feel safe
9. EXPLAIN YOURSELF
Don't wait for your partner to force you to explain yourself, don't frustrate your partner by making decisions without involving each other. You shouldn't be hard to figure out. Let your partner in on your thoughts, explain why you do what you do, be easy to love
10. KEEP YOUR SPOUSE AS A PRIORITY
Life will place so many demands on you; but your partner, your family should feel top of your priority list, not easily pushed away and only thought of when you are bored, h***y or when it's convenient
11. SPEND ALOT OF TIME TOGETHER
Whatever you value you allocate time for. The more you spend time with your partner whether physically, online or one on one, the more secure your partner will be
12. ALERT YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO GET BUSY
In as much as you want to spend alot of time with your partner, it will not always be possible. Sometimes life will get busy; when it does, prepare your partner. Alert your partner when and why you will be unreachable. Keep your partner in the know on how your schedule is. And even when busy, make that few seconds phonecall or send that brief text saying "I miss you. I love you"
13. CALL EACH OTHER A LOVE NAME
Find a sweet name to call each other, a name that you will not call any other person by; something like My love, Honey, Baby, Sweetheart
14. DON'T HANDLE YOUR PHONE LIKE A SUSPECT
If you have nothing to hide you hide nothing. When with your partner don't put your phone on silent, don't switch it off, don't walk away to answer phone calls away from your partner; this only fuels suspicion. Allow your partner to answer your calls when you can't, to hear you speak with others on phone. Let your partner feel you have nothing to hide
15. DON'T BE DEFENSIVE
When your partner confronts you or asks you questions he/ she is entitled to get answers to; don't become defensive or make your partner feel he/ she is at fault for asking. You are to be accountable to your partner. Only suspects become defensive and make their partner appear the bad person when their partner asks questions
16. DON'T CHANGE FOR THE WORSE
Your partner chose you, married you because you treat him/ her good. Now that you are a couple, years later, don't change, don't take your partner for granted, don't become casual and insensitive, don't stop treating your partner as someone special
17. DON'T MAKE YOUR PARTNER FEEL REPLACED
Now that you've stayed together for long, don't be lured by someone new. Your attention shouldn't start targeting a new wonder in your life. No one should take your partner's place
18. KEEP YOUR PARTNER'S SECRETS
When your partner confides in you don't break his/ her trust. Keeping secrets shows security
19. TELL OFF OTHER SUITORS
When other people try to break up the two of you, tell them off. Don't let your partner fight the person trying to tempt you, you be the one to tell that person to keep off
20. DEFEND YOUR SPOUSE
Defend your partner's name, keep your partner's honor. Stand up for your partner when he/ she is being talked badly about by your family, friends or the public. Let your partner find in you a soldier to ride with through thick and thin
21. MAINTAIN A HEALTHY S*X LIFE
It is scary when the person you are married to and faithful to no longer wants to touch you or make love to you. It is the surest way for your spouse to feel insecure, thinking you must be getting s*x from someone else. Don't let each other feel this way, find ways to spice up s*x, if the bedroom has become boring
