20/05/2026
You see it right, the reply on the Mums groups. You hear it, the throw away comment said with such ease.
Co sleeping is “natural” they say. Like breastfeeding right? Does it always work? Not always…..
Not only does it dismiss where a mother is truly at, but it makes the solution seem so simple… like she just hadn’t thought of it. Like there’s something wrong with her. Like the expectation she had for sleep, wellbeing, or survival somehow was “too much” to ask for.
Today alone, I spoke to four women who said things like:
“I’m broken.”
“I don’t recognise myself anymore.”
“My mental health is in pieces.”
“I physically and mentally cannot keep going.”
“I genuinely don’t know how to survive this.”
And yet somehow the answer from the sidelines is often just… co-sleep
Many little ones are still stuck in deeply habitual waking patterns even when co sleeping.
I see toddlers waking every 1–2 hours at 18 months, 2 years old, needing feeds all night long.
Little ones lying right beside mum but still crying to be stood up and rocked 2 hourly.
Three and four-year-olds needing bum pats or constant parental intervention multiple times a night. Mothers who can’t sleep because they are hyper vigilant all night long.
Proximity alone is not always the answer.
And can we please stop pretending that a mother desperately trying to escape survival mode has somehow failed because connection wasn’t enough?
There is nothing natural about a mother feeling regret. Desperate to escape the life she once dreamt of.
When you see it support it with love. Mamas are literally wanting to die out there 😭
