A Smiling Day Counselling

19/01/2025

Sadness came to tea last night
as she’s often done before
but I didn’t let her in this time
I stopped her at the door

“I’m off to meet with friends”, I said
“your timing isn’t right
I can’t allow your atmosphere
it’s not the place tonight”

but sadness wouldn’t take the hint
her manners lack finesse
her pace was slow and heavy
yet she kept up nonetheless

and even when I took my place
amongst my laughing friends
she squeezed herself right in-between
her boldness never ends

and I was sure my friends would see
this spectre at the feast
and somehow think me lesser
for inviting such a beast

but no, their warmth was undeterred
as if nothing was new
I think perhaps they know by now
I sometimes come as two

and even sadness seemed to glow
a lighter shade of grey
to know that she’s accepted
seemed to lighten up her day

so let your sad accompany you
don’t think her hard to bear
no need to face her all alone
just pull an extra chair.

-- Donna Ashworth
"Sadness comes"

04/06/2024

The expressiveness is quite satisfying! It is healthy to be able to experience emotions! Exhaling. 😇

29/02/2024

Grief invites voluntary adaptation over involuntary change. The latter is inevitable, while the former is our choice and responsibility to learn. It's worth such inner work peeps, to live a broken, messy yet incredibly beautiful life.

12/11/2023

26/10/2023

Enormous challenges we are facing in an extremely challenging world. Do we just give up? Or do we take it all on our own? How do we find peace and motivation to do our part? How do we submit what are out of our control?

06/10/2023

For parents, partners and friends: our own growth and healing provides a safety net to those we care and love. Have you experienced safety within?

15/09/2023

🌱 What's the power of new ways of thinking?
🌵 Have you reframed certain perspectives in any other ways?
🌳 Do you know when Feldenkrais talked about "better ways of thinking", he actually pointed us to our neurological awareness of somatic experiences?
🌴 Thinking gets transformational with awareness of embodied experiences.
🍀 We donot live only in our head and mind, we also live with a very interconnected body.
🌾 Bring the thinking into awareness of such beautiful connections.

04/09/2023

My obstetrician recently asked me how I'd manage to "go with the flow" with my second baby coming in November, considering the unexpected obstables, diagnosis and challenges of my first-born. I think this post summaries my answers.

I wish your willingness to ponder on this would also bring you perspectives, insights, motivation and hope.

14/08/2023

Emotions are our build-in guides. The best way to partner with them is to tune in, pay attention, name them, observe them and ride them ---

They rise, surge, calm down and they pass.

Practise not acting on strong emotions. Instead, ask them what they'd like to tell you about yourself, about others, about your longings and dreams.

19/07/2023

Let's talk about behaviours. Are they important in light of all our work to learn and gain insight of our trauma, family constellations, thoughts, feelings and relationship dynamics?

During the relatively long time you've found me away from socoal media engagements, I've personally and professionally processed almost all the above. I'm also mindful of my behaviour as a friend, mother, wife, daughter and a professional. I'm mindful because I believe my behaviours impact people around me and in broader context, impact the world. I also want to send the intentional and meaningful message to the world via my behaviours.

You read it right: I'm saying our physical sensations,
thoughts and emotions are important, but they do not tend to impact and send message to the world. Our behaviours really do. Let's start by pondering on that.

07/06/2023

Dr. Julie Gottman once mentioned in an interview that couples who are newly dating often find themselves in image management mode; giving only their best self, choosing the right clothes and saying just the right thing. "When you go deep, it becomes a whole different level of conversation that transcends image and goes into the substance of who you really are,” she said. “And that’s how folks can connect with one another and know that this is someone they can respect and care about and maybe trust later and commit to, despite their differences.”