21/12/2021
Am I practising Yogasana or Exercise?
My immediate response will be, of course asana,
- these asana have names
- there is method I follow to get into and get out of the posture
- I am also breathing as I am moving and staying in the postures
So far so good! But where is my mind?
Well..., maybe not all the time attentive. I have to keep bringing it back, it keeps running away. But will I not get the physical, physiological benefits at least, since I am doing the asana with breathing?
The benefit of yoga practice is in the moment of practice, based on the state of the body - Sthiram (alert, stable, vibrant) and Sukham (in absolute ease, comfort) and the quality of the breath (Dirgham (long) and Suksma (subtle). But the most important factor is our state of mind. Is it attentive, deeply engaged with the experience of the body and breath? It seems like we let the mind and the senses wander most of the time in practice but assume we are "doing" yoga!
So what happens? I may experience reduction in back pain, better energy levels etc, some peripheral benefits accrue and I start imagining I am on the right track! I fail to train my mind to stay, to become more and more steady and attentive. With no changes in the quality or state of mind, I can still experience enough benefits at other levels that make me mindless, even complacent. "I am a yoga practitioner" therefore I assume I am a better person than many others around me! I am "calm", "strong", "good", even a "dharmic" person because I am supposed to be so! Worse still, when this persona of a practitioner is strong, people assume you are all that, you HAVE to be that all the time, and demand that of you, the persona only gets stronger!
So I start watching my mind, where is it? Can I bring the mind more and more into a steady state of attention on my body, breath in my practice? Am I practising listening to myself and others with more attention? Am I being more and more present in everything I am doing? I say "more and more" because it is about consistent practice that will help me recognise where the mind is and make the choice to bring it back to where I want to direct it, again and again. So it becomes more inclined to stay steady and attentive, less pulled by external distractions and inner preoccupations.
Perhaps, then I can say I am "on the path", I can say, "Atha Yoga Anusasanam", I begin again, all over again, with total conviction. Every day, every breath, every movement gives me an opportunity for a fresh start: just bring the mind back to the present. Most importantly, practise dropping this idea of "doing", the struggle, the control that comes with it! Let the mind simply come in and rest, rest deeply, in the body, in this breath, in this moment fully and completely... Any attempt to control, reach up to something, hankering for a result, even at very subtle levels, impedes the mind from restful attention. When we let go of even the mildest of expectations, the mind has nothing to grasp, it will learn to truly rest in the depth of your being. There is sthiram and sukham and the breath just flows...
Am I saying what is most apparent? Yes, what is simple is often overlooked, so we have to say it again and again, in many many ways. I also want to listen to it, so my practice can get better...
- Saraswathi Vasudevan