29/08/2023
FIFO partners threatening to leave π
This is something thats come up quite a bit over the last year or so, and something I think needs to be spoken about, just so that those who are going through it, can make sense of it, and choose a path forward.
I myself was in a relationship like this, where my partner would threaten to leave, which would lead me to fear and submission.
Once I chose to leave that relationship, I adopted that same approach, bringing it with me to my next one, the one Im currently in now, with a woman who absolutely didnt deserve it. Long story short, she called me on my bluff, and I realised fairly quickly what I had to lose and what I had to change.
What Ive seen in myself, having worked through a lot of my trauma since we met, is that this was a way for me to not be fully connected, to not love unconditionally, just incase that love was taken away... which was an underlying belief.
Obviously, in this situation if youre on the receiveing end you also have to check in with yourself and ask how you contribute to this and whether your behaviour warrants it, because for some of us, justifying our poor behaviour might also be on auto pilot, allowing us to play victim in situations where we're causing enough hurt that leaving is genuinely the safest option.