28/05/2026
This post might be a bit raw, a bit too honest and a bit too personal for some, but I’m sharing it anyway!!!
Its so weird but I’ve had about 4 people mention to me about the move and my kids and how to deal with the kids growing up and us moving away etc and one lass even said I was “inspirational” for sharing.
I’m like, "thanks but I don’t feel too inspirational!" I feel scared, worried we’re making the right choice, a pit in the stomach every time I think of leaving everything we’ve built in Ellenbrook and those we love behind and then I slap myself around the chops and come back to reality. My reality.
Many many years ago I wrote a post on this page about how I pictured my retirement. I can’t find it now but it was along the lines of living down south (or out bush, wherever) in my beautiful kitchen with a pot of soup on the stove bubbling away and being surrounded by pets, animals, my veggie patch and nature basically. This is why we have always gone down south for holidays, I feel it is my “safe space” where I can breathe and just be at one with the world.
There are a few big things about leaving that I had to get my head around. Number one of course is and always will be, the kids. Number two my parents who are getting on a bit. Number three of course family and friends and number four my job.
The job was the easy one, I can transfer what I do down there in this day and age, not a problem. Plus I will be semi-retired anyway so working less days a week. That’s a no brainer.
The friends. Well that’s tricky as we have a beautiful group made over the years that we will still keep in touch with, and when we come back to Perth we can stay with them (haven’t told them that yet haha) and come up for special occasions. They can of course come and stay with us too for holidays.
We will make new friends in Bridgey I’m sure but they will never replace my “rocks” up here. Plus my best friend from high school and I have survived many long distance relationships and are strong to this day, so we’re used to it! 😂
My parents. This is a tough one as they are getting on a bit and to be honest, looking at it logically, this is the worst time for me to leave (and possibly most selfish in some people’s eyes?)
They are in good health at the moment, living independently for now, but I know there will come a time when they will need further support. There is also the thought that, as a parent myself I can appreciate, that they may be sad I am moving away. Or they may not 😂 but that is on my mind a lot.
I have reconciled that by thinking I am only 3 hours away, and if/when the time comes, I can come down to Perth and stay for however long to help them and my brother if that’s the way things go. I will have ultimate freedom to do that, it will just have to be in chunks of time rather than regular visits! Plus there’s this annoying thing I’ve heard of called “the telephone”. Perhaps I might try to use that every now and then too. 😏
Now the biggie (although I think the parentals were more of a concern for me) – the kids. Well. What do I say here?
These boys have been the absolute centre of our lives even before conception. Every single thing we have done, every life choice we have made, every dollar we have spent, every plan we have made, has been for them. We have fully immersed ourselves in their lives, we haven’t missed one game day, one theatre recital, one “big” moment – relationship beginnings and ends, illnesses, important achievements and announcements, graduations, etc – since they were a bean in my belly.
We have fully welcomed and loved every friend, every partner and everyone who has crossed their paths into our home and hearth. We have fed them, clothed them, loved and accepted them for the exact bloody WONDERFUL humans they have grown into and we are watching them now make adult choices for themselves. In fact, in my view, we have done so much for them, almost to the detriment of ourselves.
I believe we had fallen into the trap many parents do in not putting our relationship first, or caring for it enough outside of being parents, and when the kids get to the stage where they become independent we’re left looking at each other scratching our heads thinking “who the hell are you again???”.
Not gonna lie, its been a bit hairy for us of late and we had to make a decision to try and get everything back on track. I find that when the time is right life has always given me a gentle nudge. As with the business when Ali had to retire and it forced me change my ways, Stephen’s retirement came looming and gave us a wonderful opportunity to recalibrate. Looking back on it now, the business change will allow me to make this transition more smoothly too. Everything happens for a reason so they say.
When we told the kids we were leaving (funny, its usually the other way around!) the youngest looked like someone had smashed his favourite Christmas present (I think he was worried about dinner 😂) but the oldest was like “yeah cool, go for it, you do what you gotta do”.
And once we came up with a plan for them, we are giving them an “advance” on their inheritance so they can get a loan and move out together, all of a sudden things got REAL exciting for them as they pictured an inner city life for themselves! 🍻🥂
Our view is, if we can give them a head start, get them into the property market in the beginning of their lives and leave them with a legacy and an asset, why wouldn’t we do that? Why would we make them wait til we die to get what’s coming to them?
They get on great together, they are mature, hardworking, ethical, responsible kids and apart from a few domestic squabbles, and I know exactly what they will be about 😂 they will love their new lives I just know it. We will come down and visit them often too, and they are always welcome to come and stay with us but when I told the youngest there were no takeaway joints in Bridgey all of a sudden he lost a bit of interest. 😂
So, I will miss everybody like a big punch in the guts. Especially my boys who I have carried in my body and heart not for nine months, but for nearly 22 years, it is time for us.
Time to do what WE want to do. Time for us to start thinking only about ourselves and what we want for the next 20 or 30 years. We have done enough for everyone else. We have given to the point that we are exhausted, and to be honest, nearly lost each other in the process, even though we gave freely, honestly and with no hesitation. There is no regret there, but its only when you look back that you see it more clearly.
THAT is why we are moving.
We feel that retirement in Ellenbrook would be weird, it would be difficult for us. It would be an extension of a life that no longer exists for us because basically it revolved around the boys and we just fit stuff in around it.
I will sorely miss our round table discussions, our drinks together by the pool, the laughs, their mates/partners coming over, chatting to two people whom I love more than life itself but almost as importantly, I just really like as people, but we will still have that through the year. Those times were (are) getting fewer and farther between anyway as they pursue their own lives.
I will now have chooks to take care of, a garden to tend, hopefully Acey boy will still be alive to come down and have a new garden to sniff around and rabbits to chase and I will have my permaculture dream to try and attain.
Stephen will have to find “blokes” to talk sport and politics with (coz that ain't gonna be me! 😂) and play with and I’m sure there will be PLENTY of those in Bridgetown so its an exciting, if not slightly nerve wracking time.
If you’ve made it this far maybe you were one of the ones who were wondering how we are going to manage without the kids etc, and if so I hope its helped.
We all have our paths to follow and mine was always going to lead me down south, or more rural, so here we are! Please feel free to add your own retirement stories or concerns or whatever, I just felt I needed to get all this stuff OUTTA my head!!! Have a fab weekend! 🙏💕
