Holistic calm

07/08/2025

So many adults who experienced out-of-home care as children carry deep, invisible wounds into adulthood — not just from what happened in care, but from the constant disruptions in love, safety, and belonging. 💔

If you’re a care leaver (or supporting someone who is), please know this:

You are not broken.
You are not alone.
And you don’t have to keep surviving in silence.

There are powerful supports available to walk beside you in your healing, including:

🔹 Blue Knot Foundation – offers free counselling, trauma-informed resources, and training for both survivors and professionals.
🌐 blueknot.org.au

🔹 CLAN (Care Leavers Australasia Network) – an advocacy and peer support organisation for people who grew up in orphanages, foster care, or institutions.
🌐 clan.org.au

🔹 Find & Connect – helps care leavers locate their personal records, understand their history, and connect with support services.
🌐 findandconnect.gov.au

It’s okay to ask questions about your past. It’s okay to feel grief, anger, or nothing at all. And it’s more than okay to heal on your own terms. 💚

We are here to listen, hear, believe and acknowledge all Care Leavers' experiences and to raise awareness about the abuse, neglect and trauma we suffered.

12/07/2025

Let’s talk relationship conflict…..

COLLAPSING IN CONFLICT: A Sign You Don’t Feel Safe — Not That You’re ‘Too Much’

When conflict arises in a relationship, how we collapse says a lot about whether we feel safe or unsafe, held or alone, understood or dismissed.

Sometimes one partner shuts down, withdraws, or explodes — not because they want to manipulate or blame, but because their nervous system is signalling danger, even if no one raised their voice.

🧠 Secure attachment can’t grow in an environment where one person feels like they have to collapse to be seen — or where another uses collapse to avoid responsibility.

👉🏼 Safety in a relationship looks like:
• “I can bring up hard things and not be punished for it.”
• “I can cry or pause or express without being labelled as dramatic or unstable.”
• “We repair after rupture, not bury it.”
• “My needs aren’t a threat — they’re part of the partnership.”

This visual helps distinguish between trauma-based shutdown and manipulative patterns. The more aware we become of these dynamics, the more we can choose secure over survival, repair over repeat, and connection over collapse.

✨ If you’re navigating these waters in your relationship, you’re not alone.
Building safety takes two willing people — and it starts with curiosity, not criticism.